How To Get People To Like You

Do you want more people to like you? Do you want to be more sought after? Have more friends? Be more popular? Be more desirable? Want more women to want to date you? Do you want people to like you more? If you're a human, then of course the answer is yes. And in today's episode, you're going to learn exactly how to do that.

Coming to you from the center for social Competence in Portland, Oregon. Welcome to Shrink for the shy guy helping men everywhere go from social anxiety to social domination with your host, Dr. Azeez.

Hey, welcome to today's episode of the show. I'm Dr. Aziz and today you're going to learn how to get people to like you. Oh, yes. Intriguing, right? Especially based on other stuff you might have heard from me, which is all about be yourself. And you know, I'm not too into the pickup artist manipulation stuff. So get people to like me. A, is that really possible? And B, doesn't that involve some sort of manipulation? Yes, it's possible. And no, you don't have to manipulate people. I'm going to teach you how to do all of that in today's episode in a way that feels really good, really natural. Win, win. Healthy. Optimal for you and all your relationships forever. Because as you know, that's my biggest beef with the pickup artist stuff is it's all about getting a short term result, AKA her to have sex with you, but not about creating an awesome, amazing, sustainable relationship with her or with other women or with other humans. It's kind of a little bit, you know, I don't know, sociopathic. So you're gonna learn how to do this all in a really good way. I'm super excited. We're dive right in first though. Send me your questions. Dr. Azizrinkfortheshyguy.com or go to shrinkforthshyguy.com and send your. You can type a message or send me an audio there. And we're making a big effort to actually answer a lot more questions. You might have noticed I actually started introducing some bonus segments. Oh yes. Where we do the ask the shrink segment. So now I can answer a lot more questions outside of the regular shows here. So if you have questions, send them my way. Someone on my team will get them to me and I'll be answering them in upcoming shows. And we are really close here to the early bird opportunity to come spend three days with me. So if you think this show is helpful and is valuable and has helped you change and grow in your life, you ain't seen nothing yet. Coming together for three days and a weekend intensive, as I call them. There's a number of different names. People call their events immersions, trainings, even sometimes courses. I like to call mine intensives might scare some people off, but that's really what they are. It's like, really, let's take an intensive, deep dive into confidence and how to transform it in your life. And that's exactly the experience that I'm going for and that people have at these weekends. This next one coming up is called the Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough. And the tickets for the Early Bird should be going on sale tomorrow, I believe, or very close to it. So that's a great way to be able to come to the event at a lower price than the standard ticket. And when you spend three days here diving into that, especially at the Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough, which is all about power, social power, the power to be fully confident in yourself in any situation, not care at all what other people think of you. And that hesitation, oh, no, I don't quite like myself or feel okay about doing that. We're just gonna blast all of that out of the water. So you are totally rock solid, confident, comfortable, secure, certain in yourself, in any situation that you can then go use to approach an attractive woman, no problem, speak up in a group of people, promote your business, step up in a big way, maybe even create your own business, because I know some of you really want to do that, but shit, that takes confidence, doesn't it? So Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough is going to help you break through whatever's getting in your way to get to that next level of confidence. Early Bird tickets go on sale. If you want to find out about the Early Bird, you have to be on my mailing list, my newsletter list. So go to social confidencecenter.com socialconfidencecenter.com and just enter your email. There you'll get an amazing ebook, by the way, called Five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence, which will really help you unleash that confidence. And then you'll be able to get the updates and access to the Early Bird. You can also get on there, I think, from the Shrink for the Shy Guy page as well. Just enter your email, we'll send you the stuff. Go get your ticket. When they open up tomorrow, I believe is when it is. And yes, come join me. I cannot wait to meet you. And we've had a number of people that have been at the weekends that actually started their journey with me on this podcast. And some of the people that really have transformed, have listened to every podcast and read my book. And one kid was there, he had a notebook and he's like, I write about this every day. And the book he had of mine was all marked up with highlighter. So if you're really committed, this is the place to come to really transform quickly and I would love to see you there. So ultimate confidence breakthrough. Now how to get people to like you, which is what you're really curious about and what we all want to know. And my answer for you is a number. Are you ready? 62. 62. The secret to getting people to like you is 62. You're like, what the fuck is this guy talking about? I'll tell you. So I'm going to share five ways to get people to like you coming up here. And they're very specific, they're very powerful, they are very effective strategies. But here's the thing and why 62 is so important. Are you ready? You're not gonna get everyone to like you. Not everybody is gonna like you. It's freaking impossible. It is weird. I mean, how would you have to be to get every single human to like you? You have to be the most multi masked chameleon like person in the world to keep changing yourself in that way. So here's the thing, not everyone is gonna like you. And the significance of 62 is out of a room full of hundred people, if you were to walk in there, you didn't know anyone and you used all of the strategies, I'm going to share in a moment here with you, and you were fully yourself, fully confident, fully open, fully badass guess how many people would really like you and want to hang out with you, want to be your friend, want to date you? 62. Now I don't know, that's arbitrary number, it's just a guess, but it's something, right? It's not going to be a hundred and it's not going to be three. As you know, we tell ourselves it's going to be three or one or zero out of the hundred when we're anxious or nervous or full of self doubt. But it's not going to be three and it's not going to be 100. It's going to be, I would say above the middle though. I mean, it depends upon how open you are really. But if you're open and you're yourself, maybe it's higher, maybe it's 70, maybe it's 50, maybe it's half the people. And even among those 62 that like you, there's gonna be A range, right? Some are gonna love you. Like, oh, man, I wanna hang out with you. I wanna be best friends with you. I wanna date you. I wanna marry you. I want to have your babies. And then there's the, you know, another chunk of that 62 that like you, that are kind of like, oh, yeah, you know, cool guy. I thought he was great. I like him. You know, I could be friends with him. And then there's those 38 people that just don't like you. And it doesn't mean they hate you. They're just like, yeah, whatever, you know, it's fine. I could not see him again. It's okay. And that is. And I don't know if it's 62 or 58 or 74 or whatever, but you get my point, right? There's some number of people that just aren't going to like you, and you don't want to use all these strategies as some desperate attempt to try to get everybody to like you. Does that make sense? So we're gonna take a super short break right now, and we're get back into these five strategies, five ways to get people to like you. These are gonna be super powerful. Get some notes ready. Get your mind primed to learn this stuff, because when you start doing this, your social life, your dating life, your career, your work life, everything starts to magnify, because the more people like you, the better life is, the better you feel, and the more success you have, too. So stay tuned. We'll be right back right after this.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to work directly with Dr. Aziz? After breaking free from shyness and social.

Anxiety himself, he has now gone on.

To help thousands of men and women do the same. Here is what One client of Dr.

Aziz has to say about his experience.

Well, before I started working with Aziz, I definitely had a lot of doubts.

Sure.

Yes. I thought that, you know, is this guy a scam? Is he, you know, I'm paying all these money, investing all these time into building my confidence. He might just be some guy that I found on the Internet who knows that if it's gonna work or not. Definitely. Definitely. I know that a lot of guys have this kind of experience, too, but you know what? It's like taking a risk versus just living in my small life for the rest of my life. I say, you know what? I'm gonna do it and see what happens and just see what's out there. I just want to tell Dr. Aziz, Man, I love what you do. I love the fact that you are just really willing to help people to make this world a better place. A more lovable, more confident. Just really bring out the. The full potential in people. Because, you know, when I first. When I first met you, I was really small, you know, my boss hated me. My dad thought that I was a failure. I thought that no girls, no woman's ever gonna want to date me. But now, you know, I'm starting my own business. I got my own patent. I'm just really looking forward, aggressive. I want to do business with Walmart, Costco, and I have multiple women, you know, different numbers, wanting to just date me and just hang out with me. My dad thinks I'm an awesome person. Just over this past one year, I've shifted dramatically. And I just want to thank you, Dr. Aziz, for just bringing the full potential in me. And thank you.

To get started on your journey towards.

Lifelong confidence with Dr. Aziz, simply go to socialconfidencecenter.com coaching. Hey, welcome back. So let's talk about these five ways to get people to like you real quick during the break. Actually, I had someone in my team who was way more organized than me, said, hey, why don't we give everyone listening access to the weekend early bird without needing to be on your list, because that's an extra step. And. And she actually created something to be able to learn more about the weekend right from. You can go to your phone or go to the Internet. So just go to shrinkforthshyguy.com event. E V E N T event shrinkforthshyguy.com Event and there'll be a bunch of information about this ultimate confidence breakthrough. You can find out about it, you can get an early bird ticket, all that stuff. So thank you, Janae, for making that happen and being more on it than I am. So five ways to get people to like you. Here's number one. You ready? Now, some of these might seem basic. You might say, oh, I already know that. But you gotta do it. You gotta do it. Here we go. Number one, be very present and attentive above all else. That's the most important thing. Because we think, oh, man, they're not gonna like me because I'm not impressive enough. I'm not confident enough, I'm not good looking enough, I'm not successful enough. Whenever we have all our fears, insecurities and doubts, and so we're focused on me, and now I got to impress them or show that I am good enough. And none of that's gonna work. You gotta become very present and Attentive. You gotta breathe and bring your focus out of me and your mind and into your body. Your breathing, your feet on the floor, what you're taking in through your ears, your eyes, your senses, and pay attention to them. Breathe and listen. As they're talking, notice their eye color. I was just talking with a woman yesterday who I was. I was at a conference. And, I mean, we talked to me once before for two minutes. So it was like a longer. I was sitting next to her at this dinner thing, and so we talked for, I don't know, probably a good 30 minutes. During the dinner, I was talking to her, and when I was listening to her, I was paying attention to her eye color, her makeup, the way she had this kind of makeup around her eyes, on her eyelashes, her hair. I was listening to the words about what she was saying. I was listening. I was, like, hearing more about her. Not just what she was saying, but she was describing things. I was thinking about what's important to her, what does she value? What is she like? What is her life like? She's telling me about just recently getting married. Oh, I wonder what that is like. Not just, oh, that she's married. There's a piece of data about her, but, oh, it's an interesting experience. I wonder what that's like emotionally, to get married, you know, because I know from experience that it's a big deal. So you got to be really present and attentive and really focused on the other person. And people feel that, they drink that up. That's like nourishment. And on the flip side, people feel the opposite. Nothing shoots you in the foot more than being distracted, looking around the room, being really fidgety because you're nervous. All of that communicates on some level that you're not as interested in them. And it's unfortunate because you might say, well, no, I am, but I'm just really so nervous. But you're so nervous because you're focused on me and how am I coming across? Right. So who are you paying attention to most in that situation? Well, maybe not mostly you, but a lot you. So we gotta let that go. And if that's an issue, like, oh, man, I never can do that. Look, there's a ton of resources here in this podcast. Go back and listen to other episodes, find out how to be more comfortable in your own skin, how to stop judging yourself. And there's dozens of things just in this podcast alone. Or get the Confidence Code program that will really help you drop a lot of that self awareness. Or self consciousness, I should say. So step one, be really present and attentive. Another way to get people to like you. And this one's interesting. Are you ready? Talk more. Now, I know that might sound contradictory or maybe from what I just said, or even what you've heard elsewhere, which is like, well, listen a lot, ask them a lot of questions, focus in on them, don't talk so much, right? You talk about yourself a lot and bad things happen. So when I say talk more, I don't mean fill the airwaves and just go on non stop without a break. Yes, that is, that wears at people or makes them not want to hang out with you as much. I'm talking about just speak up a little more than you might be inclined to. Because here, beyond the first way, these next four ways are all under this umbrella. You ready? Let people know you more. That's how you get them to like you, is you let them know you more. Now of course, if you're attentive and you're present and you're curious and you're interested in getting to know them, that's the first part, right? But then for them to like you, they have to know you. They have to feel like they know you. They have to be interested and connected in some way to you because they've gotten to know you. In fact, if you were to ask someone like, well, do you like so and so are you drawn to them? They might say, well, I don't really feel like I know them yet. This is sometimes some feedback. I work with people in groups or one on one or at a weekend or whatever and they'll say, yeah, someone gave me the feedback that they feel like I don't let them get to know me or I'm not that open with them. They don't feel like they know me. So what we're doing is we're blocking it and we're blocking it out of fear of getting rejected, fear of being hurt. So we kind of keep a distance. So this is a way of letting people know you more. And talking more is part of that. That means we need to blurt out stuff, we need to say something. So if you're totally quiet, people don't get to know you as much. So if you're at a group and there's four people and people are chatting, you just say some stuff, you talk more, you insert yourself more. Or in a one on one conversation with someone, you speak up more than you normally would and you just say things. I have a client who's working on this. And his mind stops him from speaking up because in his mind it says, ah, what's the point of sharing this? Oh, this is pointless to share. And so my challenge for him this week was talk about the things that aren't worth talking about, share the things that are pointless to share. Let's break this habit. So talk more, speak up more. And I'm going to refine this over these next three ways to get people to like you into. What do I exactly mean? What do I talk more? You know, do I tell them a 30 minute story about my new cat litter? No, no, you don't. You don't tell anyone that story. It's not as exciting to anyone else as it might be to you, so keep that one to yourself. No, I'm talking about sharing more. And we're gonna dive into the ways that you can share more. In fact, we're getting into some of them right now. So talk more is the main step or main way? Let's go a little more granular with that. Share more. This is number three, third way to get people to like you. Share your thoughts, ideas and opinions more. So just start being a little more forthcoming with them. Blurt them out, oh, I think this, or oh, I was thinking about that or I just learned this or I paid attention to that. Oh, did you know this? And you're just sharing stuff that you learned that you heard, your opinions, your thoughts, your ideas. It matters, it's important, it's relevant. You want to insert that. That's one of the. When you're talking more, this is one of the things that you want to talk about, about more. Does that make sense? That's super important. Because information, like really detailed information is not what gets people to like you. So if you're like, yeah, well, my brother came up from visited this last weekend and you know, he works as a lawyer and he works in a public defender firm and he does trials there and they do this, this and that and this, this and that. And you're going on and on and on and on, all this detail, detail, detail, detail about something that's not even you. You're gonna lose people. You wanna share your thoughts, your ideas, your opinions. So the topic of my brother might be fine. You know, someone's like, oh, yeah, my sister's a lawyer, I'll be like, oh, no way. My brother's a lawyer, he's a public defender. And they say, oh, interesting. And I say, yeah, you know what's crazy is I was just talking to him the other day and I trained in clinical psychology, so I'm sharing a little more about myself spontaneously. They didn't ask me, I'm just sharing it. And you know what, in all my years of training, he has dealt with more like more mental illness, more people struggling, more crazy, more addiction, more like just people in the worst, most challenging times and places of their life. He probably deals with more of that in like one month or one year than I dealt with that in all of my training. So now I'm sharing my thought or idea about wow. As a public defender, you're really helping people that are really struggling, especially with mental health, which is crazy to think that he has more contact than a psychologist would. Right, but that's an idea and it's an opinion about him and his situation. Does that make sense? You don't want to get into nitty gritty, millions of details that bores the shit out of people. You want to share your thought or idea about it. And now that's interesting. Now I can engage with that person. And that's not the only thing to share. In fact, there's two more super powerful things which are number four and five of the ways to get people to like you. And we'll share those with you in just a moment when we get back right after this break.

Are you inspired by this radio show? If you're ready to take your life into your own hands, get a copy of Dr. Aziz's new book, the Solution to Social Anxiety. One reader recently, Aziz has devoted his professional career to finding practical ways to break down the self destructive mindset holding you back and to developing exercises to create a new pattern of success. He's done his homework and he ties his advice to strategies that have been proven to work. But sometimes he can get you just to laugh at yourself, at the sheer ridiculousness of the toxic way you judge yourself and hold yourself back. That can be the most helpful of all. Imagine a high school coach who stood on the sidelines during the big game screaming at his suck. You don't even belong on the field. You're going to lose big time. Everyone is going to find out you are a complete fraud as a football team. That's what you're doing to yourself. You need to cut it out. This book will help you create a self reinforcing pattern of success rather than a pattern of failure. Go to socialanxietysolution.com to order your copy today.

Welcome back. So what's the fourth way to get people to like you? Well, this is an extension of what we were just talking about. This one is sharing feelings. Feelings. That's right. Sharing feelings or emotions or not just the information or the ideas, but how you feel about something. So do you like it or not like it? Do you love it or do you hate it? This is your passion. This is your emotion. This is something that people really bond over. So someone is like, oh, you know, I just went skiing this last weekend, and I said, oh, that's cool. Where'd you go skiing? Right? You know, then we could have a conversation about that. But if I were to be like, oh, man, I love skiing and I love it, and there's an emotion there now, especially if they like skiing, they're gonna like me more. We're gonna like each other more. This doesn't mean you kind of say you love everything that everyone else does unless it's true. But if it is true, then you want to share your feelings about something. And guess what? You can share your feelings even if it's not love. Maybe you don't like something, and you might say, well, that's real rude to share that you don't like something that they obviously like to do. You know what? Maybe you need to be a little more rude, a little less nice, because guess what? That's gonna create interest and connection. So let's say someone's like, oh, I just went skiing last weekend. And let's say I don't like. Yeah, I don't really like skiing. I like snowboarding. But I might say, like, oh, yeah, man, I'm not a big fan of skiing. I actually like snowboarding a lot more. So there's some feeling there right now that is still better than not sharing anything about myself. So even if you disagree or there's like, a difference of feeling, that's great. That's energy. You don't need to feel the same way about everything with the person you're talking to. In fact, if you do, it's kind of a boring conversation. You're just kind of probably pleasing them. So you want to share how you feel about something. I love this. I don't like that. This is so important to me. This is so exciting to me. I never want to do that again. So let more of the emotion, the passion come out of you, because that's gonna connect you even more deeply to other people. The last thing to do. The five ways to get people to like you. The fifth way. Share your successes and your struggles. This is super important and super rare. People love you when you do this. Share your successes and your struggles. And guess what? Both of those can feel pretty vulnerable to do. We're afraid to share our successes because we think. I mean, who knows? There's so many blocks to this. They're going to judge me for my success, you know, for bragging. They're going to judge me because they think I'm better than they are. Maybe I did something they haven't done yet or couldn't do. They don't want to hear this. These are all things that I've told myself in the past that stop me from sharing my successes. And then our struggles, we're like, oh, I don't want people to know that I'm struggling with this. That's going to make me look bad. They're going to think I'm not perfect. They're not going to like me. But when you share your successes and your struggles, people love you. They're powerfully drawn to you. And when I teach these weekends, like the weekend I was talking about, the ultimate confidence breakthrough, I make a very clear intention to share my struggles with everyone there. Because if I, you know, you come there and I'm like, blah, look at me. I've mastered confidence and everything's perfect. And, you know, just do this and everything's perfect. Like, that sets up a weird kind of distance between you and me, doesn't it? Because on some level you're like, wait a minute, you know, I want that. But also, like, that's not. I'm never gonna have that. Or, he must be different than me. But if I'm like, hey, you know, look at all this cool stuff I'm doing. And I gotta tell you, I was so in my head for two days before this weekend trying to make everything perfect because I was worried about people not liking me and people judging me and thinking this wasn't that good enough for them to come here. But you know what? I want to let that script go and just see how I can help everyone here. If I say something like that, which I did at the last weekend, which was true, you know, it bonds us together. They feel closer to me. And here's the thing. When you share your successes and struggles, not only do people feel closer to you and like you more, you feel closer to them. It's two ways. All of these ways that I'm talking about, about getting people to like you also helps you like them more. This is how to connect more deeply with people. This is how to love people. And, you know, saying how to get people to like you is definitely more intriguing because we want that, and it's true. But it's also about connection. So speaking of that, that brings us to our action stuff.

Time.

Your action step for this week is to review these five, take one of them and make it your focus for the week. Don't take all five. It could be overwhelming. You could keep them in the back of your mind, but make one your primary focus. Like, you know what, I'm going to share more of my feelings about things this week. Or, you know what? I'm actually going to just insert and talk a little bit more. Or, you know what? I'm going to focus on being super present and attentive this week. Less focus on me, more focus on them. Or, you know what? I'm gonna share some of my successes and struggles. I don't really do that. And if you're wondering which one to pick, pick the one that scares you the most. I think, in my opinion, you know, if you want to tone it down, pick an easier one. But my opinion, if you really want to fucking break through fast and achieve higher and higher levels of confidence, more and more, better and better, and increase the quality of your life tenfold, hundredfold, thousand fold, you gotta do what scares you, and you gotta do what scares you a lot. So find the one like, ooh, sharing my successes. Ooh, that feels. I don't. I don't have any successes. Shit, you know, well, then find some successes and share them. Or maybe you're like, sharing my struggles. I never do that. Well, then do that. Do what scares you. Do what scares you. Until fear has absolutely no power to stop you from doing anything that you want in this life. And then share how it goes. Go to shrinkforthshyguy.com Send me a message. Give me a question there. I'd love to answer those in upcoming segments. You can also go to shrinkforthshyguy.com event E V E N T event where you can learn all about the ultimate confidence breakthrough coming up. And the tickets on should the early Bird should go on sale at the beginning of tomorrow, I think. All right. And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. We'll talk to you soon. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the.

Shy guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkforthshyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks and training videos related to overcoming shyness. And increasing confidence. Go to social confidencecenter.com.