How To Get Someone To Stop Talking About Politics | CONFIDENCE COACH, DR. AZIZ

How do you get someone to stop talking about politics? You got that co worker, that family member, that friend who just goes on and on and on and you want to get him to stop. Let's talk about how to do that in this video. If you're enjoying these or other videos of mine, make sure you click down below to subscribe and hit the notification, the little bell, so you can find out when these videos come out. Because the more you study this, the more your confidence grows, the better your confidence is, the better your life is. Now, right now, politics is a huge deal, especially in the United States, because we're having an election coming up and a lot of people might be talking about it. In the last video I talked about how to talk about confident politics with confidence without getting into fights and being more assertive, direct, real and authentic and at the same time how to really connect with people. Now another question I get often is like, yeah, no, no, no, I don't want to do that. I just want to like turn it off. I don't want to hear about someone's perspectives. Now usually there's a couple things. If you don't want to have that conversation with somebody, it's probably because they're not approaching it in a very effective way. Like if they were really truly curious about you and wanted to draw you out and wanted to have an open, interesting exchange of ideas, then you probably would want to do it. Usually the time people don't want to talk about politics is because they have someone who initiates the conversation who wants to win, who wants to be right, who is angry, who wants to kind of just like assert their opinion and use you as like a receptacle. Just take my opinions, alright, I'm done. I'll see you later. And that doesn't feel good. And you don't need to subject yourself to that. In fact, that's one of the key benefits of being less nice and more you, which is what my book Not Nice is all about. And we want to practice this stuff real time, day to day, no matter what the season, including during an election season in politics. So how do you address that conversation? In many ways it's not that different than any time you, you don't want to talk about anything with somebody. That's a skill you got to be able to have to be able to start a conversation. When you want to start a conversation, to be able to talk about what you need to have the conversation that you've been avoiding the conversation, you need to have to improve something in a Relationship or a workplace or whatever. The flip side of that is you need to be able to stop conversations that are not right for you, that are one sided, that are dominating, that are bullying, that are in any other way not serving you. You gotta be able to stop them. It's a form of standing up for yourself, a form of being assertive. So the most important thing is the MVP question. If you read my book, not nice. You know what this is? The question is, what do I want? Cause most of the time people are aware of what they don't want. I want Uncle Jim to stop talking about politics, whatever, right? And you're not aware of what you want want, because if you go in with what you don't want, you often will get more of it or you'll get a big conflict, or you get a big fight, or you get a pushback or whatever. And you want to steer it towards more of what you want. So because when you say, listen, I need you to stop talking about politics now that I'd say as a version 1.0, that's better than nothing, right? It's better than just being silent, being like, I'll be your receptacle, tell me more. Oh, good points, brilliant. Okay, I'm gonna go now. Like, you don't wanna just sit there and take that. So you need to be able to say, hey, listen, I need to stop talking politics. But there's a better way to do it. What do you actually want? Do you want them to not talk about it ever with you? Do you wanna talk about that? You want them to talk about it in a different way? Is it a frequency thing? Is it that? It's not that you can't talk about it ever, it's just like, dude, it's like filling up 95% of the conversations. Because the more clear on what you want, the better and more specific. And like a laser, your request or what you want is going to be communicated. Does that make sense? Clarity is power, especially in this case. So what do you want? Let's say it's a person, it's a colleague or someone you're around a lot, or a friend or something. And they want to talk about politics, they want to talk about it a lot and it's not that pleasant. Okay, well, there's a couple different ways here. Do you want them to talk about it in a different way where you're actually able to have a dialogue or you want to not talk about it at all? Or maybe it's like, well, if we can't talk about it in a dialogue kind of way, then I don't want to talk about it at all. Great. Communicate that. And you start with, I noticed the most powerful way to have a conversation about what you need to talk about is say, I noticed Jim, I noticed that recently you've been talking with me about politics a lot. Makes sense. We got an election coming up and you got a lot of. You got a lot of ideas about it and you want to share them with me. I've noticed that oftentimes in those conversations, you'll share a lot of ideas and there's not much space to have an open dialogue about it. Have you noticed that too? Notice what I just did there? I paused. I didn't just go on this long, like, here's what's going on. And this is a common mistake a lot of clients might make when they're trying to be assertive. Early on, they'll give this long explanation of what's happening, what they noticed, and blah, blah, blah, and what they want to change and the agreement from the future. I need you to not do this and do this instead. And it's like seven minutes long. The person's like, dude, this is like 21st century add land. I can't even pay attention for 30 seconds, let alone seven minutes straight. So unless there's like lights flashing and explosions on the screen, I can't stay focused. So we got to keep it shorter. So you talk a little bit and say, did you notice that too? And you're also getting a buy in because maybe Jim says, really? I thought we were having great conversations when I was just telling you a lot of things that I think. So all of a sudden you could say, did you notice that too? And maybe they say yes, maybe they say no. Say, okay, great, because then you steer a different way. But let's say they say, oh, maybe they're a little defensive. Okay, what do you mean? Well, I just have seen that pattern happening where there's not much space for me to share or ask questions. For me personally, I find if we're going to talk about this, I would prefer to have it be a dialogue that's more back and forth where I'm open and curious about your ideas, but you're also open and curious about mine. So I'm open to trying that out to see because that might feel better for me. Does that seem like something that you're open to? Maybe he says yes, maybe he says no. And if you get to the idea that it's a no, whether he says no. Or he says, yes, but then the conversations just keep being the same. Then you say, you know, Jim, we tried it a little bit differently, but I think right now my preferences to not talk about politics. So I'm going to request that while we're at work together, we just keep our focus on work or maybe other extracurricular activities, interests, hobbies and passions, but not politics. See what he says. Go from there. So you are able to see now the reason you ask. You started with rewind this three minutes. Why did you start with what do I want? Because you now know what boundaries to set. If you don't know what you want, then your only option is to set like a very big, broad brushstroke of a sloppy boundary. Like, I can never see Jim again. Gotta cut him out of my life, Right. A little more nuanced is we're never gonna talk about politics again. You know, you're not cut them out of your life, but you've cut politics out a little more nuance. Like, this is a little finer brush. You know what? Okay, we can go here, but not here, that sort of thing. And you can start to express more and more clearly about what you want and what you don't want. So go test this out. Click down below and share in the comments. What happened? How did it go? And let's see how you can really apply this in your life. Because if you watch this video and say, neat, that could work in theory, it's very different than if you go actually do it and test this out and practice this right now. And whether it's about politics or another kind of conversation that you want to alter or have boundaries around, practice this now. Fantastic. And of course you want to go further and learn more about how to apply being less nice in all different situations in your life, how to really become a more bold, free, authentic, expressive, powerful version of you. Then I highly recommend going to my website, drazeez.com and you can find out about all the different ways that I work with people, including through coaching. There's a coaching page on there where I have a group program now that's been going for many years that's produced radical and rapid transformations in people's confidence and assertiveness. And so if you're drawn to these videos and you're drawn to studying this stuff, I think it's the most powerful environment to really make those changes. Not just in theory, not just on a video or a book on your own, but truly by being supported in a powerful environment and community to make those changes happen. So until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome, Sam.