Dr. Aziz explains why authenticity attracts criticism and offers a defensive phrase, "I don't know about all that," to deflect attacks while staying open to real feedback. The key is separating criticism driven by someone else's pain from genuinely useful input.
Did you know that as you become more authentic and confident, people are actually going to dislike you? I know. Well, you're going to stop pleasing everybody and over accommodating and start to ask for what you want, be who you are. And sometimes someone might criticize you, especially if you're putting yourself out there in a bigger way. Here's how you handle it. So when someone's critical of you, either to your face or they leave you a comment or it's a troll on the Internet, often inside we kind of collapse and implode, like, oh, how could they do this to me? And what we need is a healthy level of defense. It's like an immune system, you know, need. When a pathogen gets in, you want your immune system to kick in the ear and say, get out of here. And the phrase that I love to have that healthy level of ego is I don't know about all that. That's just my favorite phrase. I don't know about all that. Someone's like, you should have done this. And you did. And you're like, I don't know about all that. And that's your immune system kicking in. Now you can take feedback if it's constructive, but most criticism is not constructive. It's about the other person relieving a pain inside of themselves. You don't need to take that on. So just remember the next time you're being criticized. I don't know about all that.
