How To Let Go Of Needing People To Like You

So you want people to like you. We all do, right? I'm worried if someone gets upset with me. I'm worried if someone doesn't like me. I'm worried if they reject me when I go talk to that person, when I ask that person now, when I speak up in the meeting, wherever it is. I want people to like me. And I want to share something in this short video with you, a little graph that can help you visually see things differently and help you let go of that need, that grasping, hunger compulsion, that need to get everyone to like you. And I actually drew this graph at a recent event I ran called Supremely Confident Conversation Master. That was fantastic. And if you were there, I enjoyed being with you for those three days. It was an online virtual event, and someone afterwards gave me the feedback. Like, that little pie chart that you drew had something click in place for me. And she'd been studying with me in a Mastermind program for a year, and she said, like, that was like, something powerful happened with that. So I thought, let me share that with other folks, too. So I'm going to draw a little graph for you that can help you really see the lay of the land. Because here's the limitation. When we are wanting everyone to like us, you might restrict how you communicate, how you share, how you act, what you say, what you don't say, how you move. Everything can start to get restricted based upon what if they don't like me? But this graph will illuminate something extremely powerful. So not only are you gonna learn something, but you're gonna get some fine zoom artwork from me. So here we go. Let's draw the pie, as it were. There we go. There's the pie. These are all the people, all the people you might interact with in your life. And let's put everyone into four categories. Okay, Here, let me do it this way. Let me write out the categories. Category number one is people that think you are awesome. They love you. They think you're great. They're your fan. They're your friend. They want to befriend you. They want to date you. They want to be on you. You know what I mean? They want to hire you. Whatever it is, they think you're great. Then there's people that are like, who were you again? They're like, what? Who is that person? Do I remember you? You're sort of like nothing special. Like, they don't. They're not crazy about you. They don't dislike you. They're kind of just neutral or indifferent, right? Then you have people who are, meh, not my cup of tea. And they're like, you know, I don't. Not a big fan. You know, that doesn't mean they hate you. It just means that they're kind of like, meh, nah. You know, if you want to go on another date, nah, it's just kind of not enough there to keep them interested. And then there's people, another percent that's like, I don't like you. Right? And there's people that say, I don't like you. These are the general four categories that people can fall into. Now this is where it gets really interesting. Where and what percentages? Now, let's say it looks something like this. We got draw some general numbers here. Let's say. Whatever this is, about 40% of people think you're awesome. And then another chunk of people, about 20, 30%, think, you know, who are you? Again, they're kind of neutral. And then about another 20, 30% think, not my cup of tea. And then there's those 10% that are like, I don't like you. That's going to be your general breakdown in dating, in your social life. If you were to be dropped into a social gathering or a party at any given time, you know, that's what you might experience. If you are gonna write a book, that's what you might experience. If you're gonna get. If you're gonna give a presentation, that's what you might experience. Anytime you're gonna put yourself out there in front of one, you know, small group, big group, these are gonna likely be the odds. Now, are they, you know, can they vary a little bit? Sure. You know, maybe you're like, no, dude, you don't understand. I'm especially awesome. So mine's more like that. I mean, because, come on, look at me, you know, so most people are gonna think I'm awesome, you know, or you might say, you know, I don't know, maybe it's like that. Maybe it's only 25% of people or something think I'm awesome. And a lot of people are neutral. Like, who are you? I don't know, indifferent. And then, you know, that other percent, who knows, we can play with these numbers, but I'd say, you know, let's just say it's something like that. Okay? But here's the thing. This number of people that are like, I don't like you, that actively dislike you, it's gonna be small. Maybe it's 5%, maybe it's 3%, maybe it's 12%. I don't know. Maybe for an extremely controversial figure, you're very polarizing. Then maybe it's more. But, you know, you just kind of doing your life, being you, you know, it's gonna be something small. Now, some people are like, I don't. I don't. I'm not crazy about this guy or this gal, but I don't want to, you know, spend my life with him, but I'll just move away. They don't. They don't hate you. There's kind of not that into you. So what are you going to do? How are you going to operate for this 10% or 5% of people that don't like you? They don't. They're not going to like you no matter what. Are you going to spend your entire life catering to those people? Are you going to approach most people as if they're that 10% who don't like you and be on guard and be hesitant and be, you know, cater, you know, thinking about what you say and filtering to make sure that you don't get that reaction? Here's the thing. Those people that don't like you, they're gonna dislike you anyway. Even if you're being really nice, even if you're holding back, even if you're just pretending to be what you think they want, they're still gonna dislike you. They're still gonna be a percentage. You cannot be any way in the world where there's not gonna be some percentage of people that don't like you. Now here's the thing. The more you put yourself out there in a bigger way, the more these numbers increase. So let me show you that chart one more time. So this is just percentages, right? What about the total number of humans that know about you? Let's say the number is 30. You know, you got a couple friends, some colleagues, some co workers. You know, that means, you know, seven people think you're awesome. Five, you know, people think you're not my cup of tea. Whatever, you know, three people don't like you. But what happens if you put yourself out there? You know, you become a leader in your company, and now you have 100 people that know about you. What if you put yourself out there online? What if you write a book? What if you in some way impact more people? Maybe now you got a thousand people that know about you all of a sudden. Now. Now you have 100 people that don't like you. But check it out. You also have maybe 400 people that think you're awesome. So these you can play with the exact percentages, but these categories are going to exist for everyone. And so when you see that, and hopefully that visual image gives you something to work with to really lock it into your mind. Like, you know what? There's going to be that 10% that doesn't like me. So now what? Now you don't need to spend your whole life catering to them. What if you just showed up as you and said, yeah, some are going to fall in that category. What if you just slotted people into those categories? Like, oh, that person seems to be indifferent to me. Okay, that's one of the people that are. And here's the thing. You don't need everyone to think you're awesome. How many partners do you need? How many friends do you need? How many people do you need to hire you? How many clients do you need? Do you need infinite numbers? Or you just need a handful, handful of friends? One person to be dating, you know, or maybe a couple if you're getting crazy, you know, how many customers do you need? I don't know. You know, a hundred, a thousand, depending on your industry. Okay, there's a lot of humans. That's a very small percentage. So get out there, be you, express yourself, be more, boldly you, and let those percentages fill in. Fantastic. I hope this serves you. And until we speak again. Oh, by the way, share in the comments below. What are you seeing about yourself? What are you learning from this? And if you want to go further, check out my eBook, 5 Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. That's available at drazeez.com that'S-R-A z I z dot com. You can get yourself a free copy right there. Until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.