How To Look Confident (Even When You’re Nervous)

You want to look more confident, whether it's at work, that job interview, on that date. You don't want to appear like a fidgety, untrustworthy, nervous loser. You want to look confident. Right. Okay, how do we actually do that? I'm going to share some tips on how to look confident. I know this is a very common search and question that people have, but I have to say the best way to look confident is to actually become confident. Which is what I'm much more interested in helping you do is to become the most confident, bold, free version of you. And the tips on how to look confident might just be a band aid on the what might be a much bigger problem underneath. So while I will share those, I encourage you to actually be developing the confidence within so that those that display of confidence is congruent. It's natural. It's just an expression of who you are and what you do. And I'll share more about how to build that confidence and training I have for that a little bit later in this video. Okay, so a couple of key things on how to appear more confident. One thing that is absolutely essential is you must strengthen your capacity for strong, sustained, relaxed eye contact. That is the first and most detrimental sign when it comes to your confidence that you lack it and people pick up on it instantly. You know. So whether it it is that work, meaning and people with authority or someone that you're intimidated by or something you think is beautiful, there's this real strong almost like biological social hardwiring in you to do all kinds of weird stuff with your eyes based upon how you see yourself in terms of the pack hierarchy with whoever you're looking at. Is this person above me? Is this person better than me? Am I allowed to look at this person? And you got a lot of that kind of programmed in your subconscious based upon how you see yourself, your self esteem and your confidence. And so if it's low, you see yourself as less land and so that you know an authority is looking at your boss is looking at you and you find it real hard to keep eye contact. And even if you're trying, it'll kind of fidget away or you takes an undue level of your focus to be like, maintain the eye contact, don't look like a coward. Look, I don't even know what I'm thinking. I don't even know what they're saying right now. I'm just going to sustain that eye contact. Okay, look confident, nod. You know how long that works? That works until they say, so what do you think? And then you're like, about what? Right? Because you've been so focused on the eye contact and being obsessed with it. So that's a key thing. How do you develop that? You practice it. It's a muscle just literally making more extended eye contact with people. Second thing you need to do is you must unravel your own sense of inferiority, which is where your challenge with eye contact comes from in the first place. That's what I'm talking about. You got to resolve the stuff at the root if you want to do that. Check out Confidence University particularly. There's a course in there called Social Mastery which will help you really understand why you see yourself as inferior and how to turn any sort of social anxiety into rock solid social confidence. You can click down below to learn more about Confidence University eye contact. Another one is a real basic one, which is how much space do you take up with your body? Now there's specific things. You can take up more space. You can move with more deliberate motions as opposed to fast kind of twitchy motions. You know, one thing that's not trying to micromanage all of these displays is to really move around like you own the space. That's the best way I could describe it is move around. I'll even do this when, you know, groups or online stuff that I run is I'll have people, you know, they're, they're in their house or in their room or wherever. And I'm a, you know, somewhere else in a different city, in a different room. I still have everyone stand up and move around their room, their bedroom or their office or wherever. Like they own the space and they get a sense for it, they get a feel for it. And I encourage you to do that as well. Move around like you own the space. And then just notice how do you stand, how do you move, how do you sit, how do you position your body? Okay, that's what you want to do wherever you go. Now again, this might sound simple, but there's some strong fear based programming in there that says, wait a minute, wait a minute. If I make strong eye contact with people, if I move like I own the space, you feel nervous. What often happens, there's this fear that there's gonna be some authority out there. Maybe it is the boss, the intimidating person. Maybe it's a they who's just like, who do you think you are trying to posture like you have value and you matter. Get outta here. You belong at the bottom of the hierarchy and you know who's Communicating that most. It's not out there, it's in here. It's your critic. And if you don't get control of that critic, it's gonna keep you from displaying confidence forever. So you gotta challenge that sucker. And again, I teach more inside of Confidence University in the ULT Ultimate Confidence foundation, which is a bonus course that comes with this. So use that to challenge the critic and say, wait a minute, no, no, no, no. I am the authority. And you start to strengthen that. And when you do that, you can start to move like you own the place. And when you do that, it's not necessarily confrontational or aggressive. It's just confident. The way you sit, the way you smile. Because here's the thing, I used to spend so much time trying to look confident in my early days when I was really learning about this stuff. And I would have like a checklist, like, okay, sit like I put my feet up here. Yeah. So. Sup? Right. You know, and I'm like consciously calculating all these things now. I don't even think about how I sit or how I stand. And if I, you know, if someone were to point it out or if I look at footage of myself or something, it looks confident. It looks like I'm relaxed and comfortable. Why? Because I am. And so I don't need to focus on it because it's a non issue. And that's ultimately my goal is for you. So the long answer about how to appear more confident is to truly become more confident by doing the inner work to really make that transformation. And also some of these tips will hopefully be useful for you as well. Please share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable until we speak again. You have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.