How To Overcome Physical Symptoms Of Social Anxiety!

Do you get physical symptoms from social anxiety or other anxiety? And are you afraid of those physical symptoms because they're visible to others? If so, stay tuned. We're do a Q and A about exactly this. So dealing with the physical symptoms of social anxiety, there's a number of questions I've got that kind of combine together. One person said, I deal a lot with physical symptoms like palm sweating and hand shivers. Someone else said, I wish you did a video on blushing or so called erythrophobia. And to look that one up, despite my clinical training. Erythrophobia, fear of blushing. I really like to hear your thoughts and ways to overcome it. So there's other symptoms. Sweating, stammering, all these things that were like, people are going to see that I'm anxious. So we have this anxiety and then we. A few of the anxiety will become visible, and then we're terrified of that. We can develop a phobia about it, right? And this is a real. This is a real thing. If you experience this, you know what I'm talking about. I remember I worked with a client one time who blushing was his thing. And he was working. He was kind of like a junior level inside of some, I don't know, JP Morgan or some banking situation in New York. And he was like, you know, just like the lowest on the totem pole in some of these meetings. And he was just terrified of speaking up. Why? Because I'm going to blush. I'm going to blush. I'm going to blush. I'm going to blush. I'm going to blush. Okay, and what happens if you blush? Well, people are going to see me blushing. Okay, well what happens when people see you blush? Well, they're going to know that I'm like, I'm weak, I'm scared, I can't hack it, I can't hang. I don't belong here. Maybe they're gonna fire me or they're disrespect me, or they're not gonna think that I'm worthy of rising up through the ranks, right? So what we do is we have this anxiety. The symptoms gonna become visible. Other people are gonna see that I'm anxious, and that's gonna be absolutely fucking terrible. And that's always the story with these things. I got sweaty palms, right? Someone's gonna shake my hand, they're gonna feel my cold, clammy, sweaty palm. And then what? Well, they're gonna think, who the fuck is this guy with his cold, clammy, sweaty palms? This guy's a Loser. I don't want to date him. I don't want to hire him. I don't want to work with him. I don't want to see him. So what we're doing is we're loading a ton of judgment onto the symptom. Do you follow me so far? You're doing this right now with whatever your thing is. Another. And here's the thing, then we get into these anxiety loops about it. I got to get rid of this. Oh, my God, I got to get rid of this symptom, right? Because if other people see the symptom and we're just buying every story without questioning anything. So this symptom is going to become visible. It's going to become visible and then people are going to hate me for it, or judge me for it, or look down on me for it. We don't even question that one. We just swallow it, hook, line and sinker. And then we're like, okay, well, in that case, let me get rid of the problem. I got to go solve the problem. And that client I was telling you about in the banking institution, he looked up surgical solutions. He hadn't done it yet, but he looked up surgical solutions to see if they could fucking cut some nerves in his neck to prevent blushing. Nevermind what the side effect profile of that might be for life. And is that really gonna solve your problem? And I told him that. I was like, we only worked together for like two months. He didn't want anything. I was like, cause what I was offering him, he wanted, like, how do I stop this blushing right now? And I was telling him, he's like, I wanna do the surgery. I was like, hold on a second, hold on a second. Is that really gonna solve the problem? Because there's all this anxiety in you. So you cut off that symptom. How else is it going to come out? I don't know. But I don't think the anxiety is going to go away. As soon as your blushing stops, you think it's the blushing, you think it's the palm sweating, you think it's whatever, but it's not. So what we do is we get into these anxiety loops of I got to stop it, I'm going to find a surgical solution, I'm going to find whatever, whatever I can do says, stop it. I got to stop it, I got to stop it, I got to stop it. And that anxiety actually intensifies the whole problem. And nowhere is this more evidence in erectile dysfunction, which is also, for the most part, it's Either a cardiovascular thing from an unhealthy diet, usually too much meat and dairy and other things that are inflammatory to our arteries. And you're overweight and you have other issues like that, or actually you don't even have to be overweight. Just that kind of diet can really affect. You should check that out and more research on that. Or. One of the biggest sources of erectile problems for men is anxiety. And once it's happened a few times or once you're in a situation where you can make love and you're like, oh no, I can't. Shame, shame. And then we get anxiety about in the future and they're like, I better not, I better not. Better not. That better not happen. That better not happen. And what happens then? It fucking happens, right? So we get in these anxiety loops. So what we resist persists. You cannot freak out and try to make the symptoms stop. So what's the solution to this stuff? Big capital A. It's acceptance. And that's what I was trying to offer that client because that's what's gonna really work in life. But he didn't want to hear about it. He wasn't ready. I don't know where he is. That was many years ago. So hopefully he's doing well. Hopefully he didn't get the surgery and maybe he did, maybe it served him, I don't know. But. But I think a much better solution is acceptance. I know it's a tough sell. So where do we start? Anywhere and everywhere. Yeah, I blush acceptance of that. And then looking at what is the self hatred that I have of myself for blushing, for sweating, for whatever, for having shifty eyes, for whatever. Your symptom is that you feel like you can't hide because that's what you're imagining from the outside. You're projecting that. Not everyone judges people that harshly for blushing. In fact, most people don't. In fact, a lot of people might not even fucking notice it. But you can't see that because you're so wrapped up in it. The thing is, not everyone's going to notice that. Not everyone's going to care. And what's happening is you are imagining it because you have this horrible judgment of yourself. So the question is, where did you learn that judgment? When did you start hating yourself for blushing or for having sweaty palms or for being nervous? And some people, the symptoms don't even have to be that visible, like physical symptoms. They just hate themselves for feeling nervous and are terrified of that. Even slipped out somehow because they're a Little quieter or a little more hesitant. So where did you start to hate yourself? Think about that. Did you get teased? Did you get made fun of? I remember one client I worked with who had a lot of obsession around his eye contact. And he's like, I'm not blinking enough. I'm making people uncomfortable with my eye contact. And he could pinpoint it to one moment he was in an elevator. It was a very stressful time in his life, which is often when these symptoms start, we hyper focus on them because there's a lot going on in our lives and we'd rather obsess on some level about this symptom than deal with all the discomfort in our lives. But he's a very stressful time in his life. He's in an elevator. There's this woman that walks in. He's just, you know, says hi to her, whatever. And out of nowhere she says like, why are you looking at me like that? And he's kind of like, like what? She's like, I don't know, you're just like staring at me. He's like, oh, sorry. And then she walks out of the elevator. And from that moment on he has this obsession about eye contact. So where did you learn that? Your thing? Did you get teased? Did you get made fun of? Think about that and then work on self acceptance. That is going to be your solution to this problem is like, yeah, I blush. That could happen. Yeah, I get sweaty palms. That could happen. And the more you do that and there's so much more. I could talk about self acceptance here. Check out other videos on this channel. Check out Confidence University if you want a deep dive step by step program. There's a whole section on self esteem and being okay with yourself no matter what. That's@theconfidenceuniversity.com youm can check out my podcast Strength for the shy guy. I have tons of episodes about self acceptance. There's. But I mean it's one of the key things that I teach because when you get to that place, then what happens is you are able to let go. It's okay. And self acceptance is really is a lot of letting go because your mind is like, no, no, no, I'll be okay. I'm okay, I'm okay. And then what happens is it starts to become a non issue and then two things happen. Either you do sweat or you have the blushing and it comes and it goes and everything's fine. Or it comes and it goes and someone says a comment like, are you okay? You seem a little red. Oh yeah I blush sometimes. Anyway back to what we're doing. It's like a non issue or what I've often found with people is over time it happens less because there's less of a charge around it and I've had people that the blushing has gone away entirely. I've had people that I worked with who were having all this anxiety about erections I can't get oh my God it's not going to happen and they might have this for years and then it becomes a non issue. They don't even think about it anymore and that could be happening for you as well. The key is acceptance for Capital A so share in the comments below what you're finding useful from this. I hope this serves you on your path to greater confidence until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.