How To Overcome Your Fear Of Rejection FAST

This is the fastest way to overcome your fear of rejection and the secret ingredient that's going to allow you to do this. Because there's a lot of advice out there and a lot of it can not only not work but can actually backfire, especially have social anxiety. So I'm so glad that you're here. I'm an expert in social anxiety and social confidence. I have a doctorate in clinical psychology. I've written six best selling books on the subject. And so I know not only how this process works but also what the pitfalls are. And I'm going to share exactly what those are in this video with you. I'm Dr. Aziz and if you want to go further with me, make sure you subscribe down below to keep watching these videos as they come out and go to my website@draziz.com-a z I z.com you can find out about my at home study course called Confidence University which teaches you confidence in all key areas of your life as well as my free five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence mini course that you can get at my website as well. Now, when it comes to facing rejection, I want to tell you a quick story which will show you exactly how to rapidly overcome your fear of rejection. Because your fear of rejection, if you have social anxiety or niceness or any other cage that you live in, is ultimately a phobia. Your fear of rejection is ultimately a phobia. What's a phobia? A phobia is an excessive emotion based fear of something that is not threatening. And people know that it's irrational. They know that driving over a bridge or being near a spider or seeing a snake is not going to kill them. I'm not talking about, you know, dancing with cobras or something, just seeing a little garter. Snake freaks. They won't even go outside because there could be a snake out there. Someone won't even drive over a bridge because they could fly off the bridge, right? They know it's irrational, but they're paralyzed by the fear. That's what happens for rejection. Does that, do you relate to that? Like you know that someone saying no to you is not going to kill you, but it is emotionally devastating and overwhelming. So here's the fastest way to eliminate a phobia. And I got this from a story that I heard from David Burns, who I studied under at Stanford University. He's one of the world's best cognitive therapists and he worked with a client who had a fear of monsters. And this was a grown man, not a little kid. Fear of monsters in his basement. And so he kind of avoid the basement at his house or get someone else to go down there and get things for him. Or sometimes if he had to, he'd, like, turn the light on and, like, run down there and grab something and run out. And he knew it was crazy. He felt all ashamed and embarrassed about it. So he's talking to David about it, and David said, like, well, I have a solution for you. And it's going to be so powerful that when you this, your fear of the dark and the fear of the monsters will go away entirely. Wow, that's amazing. But here's the thing. You're not going to want to do it. The guy said, oh, well, geez, what is it? He said, here's what you do. You've been facing it a little bit by going down there with the light on sometimes, but you haven't really faced the actual fear because your fear is not at the basement. Just like for you, your fear is not of talking to people. Your fear is not of asking someone out or taking a social risk. Your fear is of the rejection. And so for this gentleman, he said, you have to go down into the basement, keep the lights off, and stand in the middle of the dark area of the basement with the lights off. Put your arms out wide open and say, okay, monsters, come get me. I'm waiting. Hello. He's like, stay there. You'll feel terrified at first, utterly terrified you're gonna die, and then just stay in it, stay in it, stay in it, stay in it, stay in it. And eventually something's gonna shift for you. And then I said, oh, my God, that's terrifying. He said, I told you, you won't want to do it. But if you really want to set yourself free, this is how you do it. And that's how we have to do it for rejection. I see this all the time. People are trying to build their social confidence. Okay, I'm gonna go talk to people. I'm interact with people. I'm gonna put myself out there. And the whole time they're running in and out of the basement, I'm go interaction. I hope there's no rejection. Oh, my God. No rejection. No rejection. Oh, no whammies. No whammies actually have to go into it and say, rejection, come get me. Do your worst. That's why when I work with clients, I have them on purpose. Go get rejected. That means walking over and asking someone a question like, hey, can I have $100 asking for something Absurd. Where you know that you're going to get a no. Although when I do this with clients at my virtual in person events, people often come back from the outings because we always do action during those events. And they come back and they say, you know, I got a surprising amount of yeses. I mean, we just had an event not that long ago and people were getting things like, I asked someone to have a bite of their food. And I don't mean like a chip. I mean like it was like a bite of their burrito or something. Person's like, okay. And I'm like, wow, I guess Covid is really over. But we also were willing to face the fear. So we get no's. That's how you confront the phobia, is you on purpose go get rejected. Now, there's a secret to be able to do this with rejection so it doesn't destroy and overwhelm you. And the secret to this is you have to change the way that you perceive rejection. Because right now, when someone says no to you, you. Because that's all a rejection is, right? Someone says no. They could say it kindly, they could say it harshly. They could just not say anything at all and avoid you and not respond to your text or email. That's a rejection too. And when we hear the no, we do something crazy with all that coming, your way is. And we take it and we're like, okay, I'm going to convert this. It's like a translator. And we translate the no into, you're a bad human. No one's ever going to like you. Or maybe say to yourself, like, I'm a bad human. No one's ever going to like me. And this means that from here all the way into my later years in life until my last breath, I'm never going to get what I want and I'm never going to have love. And I'm so fundamentally unworthy. And then we feel terrified of rejection. I wonder why we do this terrible process. So the secret to be able to go practice this, get the rejections is to change your fundamental perception of rejection. And my simple way of saying that is, I don't do rejection. I don't get rejected. That's right. Aziz doesn't get rejected. I'd say, wait a minute, does that mean no one says no to you? No, I get no's all the time. But what I don't do is rejection. Rejection is such a dramatic term. And all that it means is usually self hatred and bad feelings. So what if you don't get rejected, you just get no's. Change the word, change the language. It's amazing because rejection is such a loaded term. I get no's. Sure. I get no's all the time. That doesn't mean anything about me as a human. It's just information. And then when you see that, you can go take that action, get those rejections, and then the liberation just explodes. And if you want specific step by step guidance with this, go to doctoraziz.com d r a z I z.com and at the top there there's a thing that says programs or products. And click on Confidence University. It's got four courses. The first one is called the Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough. You get lifetime access to all of them, by the way. And the first course, the Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough, guide you exactly on this how to change your perceptions about your rejection, about yourself, rejection, practice exercises step by step and be able to really get this in a fundamental way other than just like hearing me talk about it. You know, most people probably watch this video and be like, oh, that sounds terrible. And then they don't do it and then they stay in the cage. So if you really want to break free, check out Confidence University. I would love to support you in that. It comes with a monthly once a month group coaching call led by a dear friend of mine and a master coach named Ben who just will help you put this into practice in your life. Help is possible for this. You can absolutely shift this. It's just a matter of taking these scary but ultimately liberating actions and risks. Share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.