How To Receive Compliments With Confidence

Are you good at taking compliments? If someone gives you positive energy, says something, praises you for something, do you let it in? Do you feel good? Do you freak out inside? Do you block it? Do you get nervous about maintaining? What if I can't sustain it? Whatever it is, if you are not completely comfortable with taking in compliments and just receiving that love and positive energy, then watch this episode because we're going to help you do just that. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and today we're going to be looking at compliments. How to receive compliments, how to take them in in a way that helps you boost your self esteem, boosts your confidence, appears confident to others, so they're more, they like you more and they're more drawn to you. And also they're more inspired to give you more compliments because hey, that's a good thing. In fact, what triggered this idea for this episode is actually a question from a viewer. And if you want to ask me your questions and want me to answer them in future episodes, put them down below, I just might answer them. And this one comes from Amelia. Dr. Z, could you make a video talking about getting very high on flattery and not knowing how to receive it or process it? That would be very helpful. So compliments. So her situation is she gets really high on it. And that's another thing, not knowing how to receive it or process it. So maybe that's more. She blocks it. We're going to find out. So I'm going to answer that question. And just compliments in general. So even if you don't get high on it, maybe you don't get feel anything, maybe it actually makes you feel worse. And that's okay too, wherever you're at, just not perfectly great with compliments yet. And that's okay. We're going to help you get there in the next few minutes. So first of all, a compliment is nothing more than positive energy. It's a little packet of positive energy packaged up in what someone says. And just imagine it's like a little here, here you go, here's a little, it's a little glowing green ball, positive energy. You could just take it in. But we don't think of it as that. It's a gift of positive energy coming right to you. Now why on earth would we not want to receive a little packet of love? Here you go. I mean, we all want love. It's what we're doing all over the place, right? Oh, please. I hope they like me. Love. I hope they're impressed by me. Love. I hope I'm good enough. Love. I hope I earn enough this year so I'm worthy. Love. I hope she calls me back. Love. Right? We want love, we want connection. And so here someone's offering it to us and we're like, get that shit out of here. We're crazy. Why would we do that? Why do you block compliments? Do you think? Would you guess? Think about it for a second. Why on earth would you do that? Here's a couple reasons. See what fits for you. One is we're, you know, first of all, you might say, well, they're just saying that to be nice. And you know what? That's already. You've already blocked it at that point. That's just the thing you say to yourself to block it. So we're going deeper here. Why forget about how you block it? Whether you say, oh, they're being nice or they're just saying that to manipulate me, or they don't really think that that's all how you do it. Look at it. Why? For a second. Why would you block it in the first place? Well, one is, it doesn't. This is probably the main reason. It doesn't align with our identity. It doesn't compute with how you see yourself. It's too different. So you see yourself, let's say they compliment you on a presentation that you did. You gave a great presentation. Or they say you're beautiful, or they say you're funny. Right. I don't know one of these things. Right. A compliment about something you did or who you are. Your identity, though, how you see yourself over here, secretly inside is I'm not good at speaking. My presentation wasn't good enough because I look too nervous. I'm not attractive because of my nose, my hair, my eyes, my ears, my left pinky toe. Whatever your reasons are, I am not funny. Because I remember when I was a kid and I told stories in my family, no one laughed, no one thought my jokes were funny. Whatever your reasons for your identity are, but we have it in there. We might not even know. We might not walk around saying, I'm not funny, I'm not funny. But just if someone's like, hey, you're funny, you're like, no, I'm not. Hey, you're beautiful. Right? Right. So that's showing you that it doesn't fit with you, that your identity is something different. Your identity is, I'm ugly, I'm boring, I'm too nervous, I'm not Confident enough in front of people for presentations. So if that's your identity, that's how you see yourself, your self concept, your self image, whatever word you want to use. And then someone's like, hey, this is something different. We're like, yeah, put that one away. I'm going to stick with this because that is who I am. Now, why would we stick with a shitty identity? Well, that's a big topic. My program, Confidence Unleashed, which is all. It's designed to help you transform that identity, to permanently see yourself in a new light of confidence, of certainty, of liking who you are. And then of course from that, you can attract so much to you in your work life, your career, your social life, your relationships. So it's a huge topic. And we're not going to go down the identity rabbit hole right now. But that's why you block out compliments. Doesn't fit with your identity. Doesn't fit with how you see yourself. So what you want to do is you want to start to. Here's the thing, you can use the compliment to start to change your identity in a positive way just by taking it in, by deciding right now, I'm going to take it in. I'm going to let. Yes, I want to stop blocking it out. And one of the biggest fears about this is, well, it's a bigger fear about then I'm not this terrible person that I thought I was, but I want to be that person because it's safe. I go so far down that rabbit hole, but I'm not gonna. Here's the thing. The short answer is take it in. So someone gives you a compliment, you say, so first of all, start externally. Even if internally you're all fucked up and blocking it. That's okay. I still do that sometimes too, but externally, just take it in. Hey, great presentation. Thank you. Wow, you're really beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, man, you are so funny. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Oh, thanks. That. Just practice that. Thank you. And then breathe and don't say anything else. Don't say, oh, thank you, but it wasn't that good. I'm terrible. Just keep it back. Just let it bounce around inside like a ping pong ball. That's okay. Thank you. So, folks, start externally. And you know what? That actually starts to powerfully change what you do. Because if you stop discounting it and rejecting it outside, you'll also stop doing it inside eventually. And here's the reason why you want to do it externally, because you don't want to shit on people's Gifts, right? We all learned that when we were kids. Grandma gives you socks. Grandma's like, I really thought these were beautiful for you. I picked them out. Here you go. And you're like, socks are terrible. And Grandma's like, right. So you know, you want to receive people's gifts graciously. So you get a gift, say thank you. And what that does is that inspires people to give you more gifts. It also, I mean, a compliment is a two way street. Someone gives the compliment and it's received. They feel love, they feel good energy. Someone puts out a compliment, you knock it down. They feel bad. They feel like, ugh. They don't like it as much. They don't like you as much. They're like, come on, man, I'm trying to. Why are you rejecting me? And when we do that, we get less of it. And that's what sometimes we want, right? Like, oh, keep it all away, keep it all away. But if you do that, you're screwed. Start taking it in. You need it. Just, like, receive it. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Then it's a bigger thing to shift inside, which is, hey, I got to start shifting my identity. I want to start taking this stuff in. I got to start seeing myself the way that other people see me. Instead of this weird, twisted, fucked up version where I don't like myself and just start using that positive feedback to start to change your hey, maybe I am funny. Yes, I am. Change your I am's by receiving those compliments. Take in that energy. Let it transform you. Let that green little ball turn all that black shit green or pink or whatever color works for you. Blue, I don't know. So one other twist on this, though, from Amelia's question is she said she gets high on flattery, and I don't know if that's a problem. Hey, you're doing great. Oh, thanks. I don't know if that's a problem now. Maybe she gets. I mean, who knows? There's probably more details here. Maybe sometimes we feel like we're scared to take a compliment because then we have to sustain it. Like, hey, that was a great presentation. We're like, oh, shit. Now from here on Forevermore, I have to do just as good, if not better presentations, and I can never make a mistake again. Oh, no, the expectations are too high. I can't take the pressure. You know what? It doesn't work that way. They're just giving you some love right there. Just take it. You don't have to be perfect. That's the Thing we think, oh, I was good enough this time, so I can take this love in. But you don't have to continually stress about being good enough. You are good enough. And if you don't have an awesome presentation, fuck it, who cares? That's okay. You don't have to be so much better and so perfect. You can receive love even if you're not perfect. They're giving it to you. People like, it's coming at you from all over the place if you just let it in. So let yourself get high. Don't worry about setting up super high expectations in the future. And you know what? Maybe you don't have to be scared of that. Someone's like, that was an awesome presentation. You're like, yeah. Or thank you. Maybe even say, yeah, I actually do that. So my wife compliments me. She says like, wow, you look really good. Or, wow, you're so this. I'll be like, I know. And it's playful, it's fun, but sometimes I'll just say thank you too. So whatever it is, it's a way of letting it in. And what we want to do is someone says, that was a great presentation, you say, thank you. And inside you'll be like, I know. And that's what I do. That's who I am. I'm an awesome speaker. I'm awesome at giving presentations. I am funny. Thank you. That's true. Because when your identity has changed and it fits, then you're not so worried about, can I sustain it? Can I maintain it? Because you just know that's who you are. And, yeah, I'm a great presenter, I'm a great speaker. Does that mean everything is equally awesome and I never have an off day? No. But my identity is solid in that. So take in those compliments, let them in and share what's standing out to you. How are you going to take in compliments different? Why do you block them? Maybe there's a reason here that I didn't share. Let's all learn from each other so we can help each other grow and get crazy high, extraordinary levels of confidence so we can go out there and crush it in life until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.