Dr. Aziz shares a mental shift for social insecurity: stop focusing on yourself and imagine what makes other people feel insecure instead. He shows how this works with a story about a man at the gym, then explains why it actually works to lower your self-consciousness and help you approach people.
If you feel insecure around others or certain people that you think are beautiful or intimidating or special or powerful, you have to watch this video. I'm going to share a quick hack that you can use immediately to neutralize insecurity, to free yourself of that feeling of they're not going to like me. They're not going to want to accept me. I'm not going to be okay like I am. They're better than me. That's kind of the flavor of insecurity. And if you find this video useful, make sure you click down below to subscribe and give it a thumbs up. And also leave a comment about one you're finding most valuable. And if you are going to apply this, or if you did apply this, what happened as you did it? So when you go into a room or you're in a situation where you feel insecure, you are generally observing yourself as undesirable, unwanted, and less than that. People are going to look down on you or somehow have an aversion to you. And here is a simple hack. When you are going into that mindset, who are you focused on? Me. Right? Not me, Aziz, like, you're focused on yourself. Me, me, me, me. How are people gonna see me? Am I enough? Are they gonna like me? Great. Generally, when we're hyper focused on ourselves, it's gonna lead to a lot of self consciousness, worry, inability to connect with others. And so you might have heard that, like, focus on others, you might say, okay, but it's hard. I'm scared. I'm trying to protect myself. Okay, so here's the hack. Focus on others, but focus on what they might think of that leads them to feel insecure. Now, this might be a completely new idea for you. So I was just talking with someone. He said, well, I was in this room full of people that were all really fit and he wasn't as fit and it wasn't about. It wasn't like a fitness conference or something. We just noticed it, like, wow, everyone's really fit and athletic. And he's not. He's, you know, okay shape, but nothing like these people. And he was starting to feel like, oh my gosh, is someone gonna judge me? I have a little belly. I have some love handles. Like, ugh. And it was being self conscious about that right now that could totally limit his ability to connect at that in this environment. It could totally hamper his whole experience. It could prevent him from creating friendships or business connections all because of that. So what he, what I suggesting he practice is pick someone in the room and think about them for a minute. And just as a thought experiment, because you don't know this is just a bunch of made up stuff anyway. I wonder what that person might think that would make them feel insecure. And at first he was like, I don't know, I don't know the person. I was like, I know we're just making it up. What do you think? He said, well, I guess they could look at someone else and say, you know, they have a bigger following than me, or that person makes more money than me, or that person's more successful in business than me. I said, yeah, and how do you think they'd feel if they looked at someone in the room and said, oh, that person's better at business than me or they make more money than I do. They have a bigger following than I have. How do you think they feel that? He's like, well, they would feel like they were less than or not enough. I said, yeah, how would you approach them? Then he paused and he said, I guess I would just walk over to them and say, hey, you know, I'm not gonna use his name, but you know, I'm John, you know, what's your name? And what do I need to say and how do I need to come across? It all just melted away for him. Why? Because all of a sudden it's like, oh, I thought I was the only one who's inferior. Turns out you're inferior too. We're all inferior. Yay. Right? Which is kind of true in one way. Like, there's always someone better than you at something and. And if that has nothing to do with your worth, it almost took away that separation. And then he could see that, oh, we're in this together. And look, I don't know if the guy he approached really did have insecurity around money or following. And you don't need to know either. It's a mental hack that gets you out of this illusion anyway. This self absorbed. Everyone's gonna see these lower, less than qualities about me. No one does. You are the one who is fixated on that. And you're doing it as a form of self protection to avoid taking the risks. And this is a hac that gets you over that to go take the risk. And ultimately the goal is to go approach the person, go put yourself out there, because the confidence that you seek is going to be a byproduct of those actions. And speaking of actions, if you want to have systematic action steps in all these areas, social confidence, career confidence, dating, and relationships, Core self esteem. You have to check out my course Confidence University which is actually a series of courses in all these key areas that you can go through one by one systematically. They all have action steps, they have specific trainings that break things down into very actionable modules that you can use in your life right now. And if you apply these things say from Social Mastery or one of those other courses, I promise you you will experience a shift in your confidence and that's why we have a guarantee on the program and everything. Click down below and go to my website as well and check out the Confidence University under the products section and learn more about that to really make the shifts in your life. And please share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable from this video and if you apply this hack, how it went and until we speak again may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
