A short advice-focused talk by Dr. Aziz on how to assert personal preferences and boundaries without being rude. He recommends clarifying your own thoughts, feelings, and desired outcomes, then advocating for them using perspective-taking language (e.g., “I have a different perspective”) and willingness to disagree constructively.
Here's the secret to standing up for yourself without being rude. First of all, you must know, what do I think? What do I feel? What do I want in this situation? Otherwise, you're just trying to defend or deny you're on their terms. So take a step back and say, what do I really want here? Then you advocate for it. You say, I'd prefer if we do this, or I'm not sure if that's a good idea. You have to be willing to disagree. Now a lot of people are like, I'm afraid of being rude. I don't want to upset people. Here's the thing. The rudeness comes when you believe that there can't be multiple perspectives. You think, this, I have a different perspective. You can even use that language. Instead of saying you're wrong, you say, I have a different perspective or I see it differently. Let's explore the other options. Is there a different solution we can come to? So you're realizing that there's different ways to see it. Your way isn't absolutely right and there's is an absolutely wrong, but you are going to advocate for the way that you see it because you think that's what's best.
