Dr. Aziz explains that seeking approval from others stems from not feeling proud of oneself and offers a practical remedy: cultivate internal self-approval and give yourself credit for small achievements so you stop relying on external "crumbs" of validation. He emphasizes developing a healthy, realistic sense of pride rather than an inflated ego.
Here's how to end the pattern of seeking approval of others. And this pattern you definitely want to end because the more you seek approval from others, the less they approve of you and the more suffering that you have in your life. So let's change this right now. The seeking of approval comes from the fact that you don't actually feel good about yourself. You don't feel proud of yourself, and so you're looking for those crumbs from someone else. Well, if that person thinks I'm attractive, that person thinks I'm smart, that person gives me a little crumb and I can feel good for what, a minute, an hour, maybe a day at most. No, you need to become an expert, especially specialist at providing yourself with that healthy sense of pride. I'm not talking about an over inflated ego of I'm the best in the world, but just like, hey, I'm awesome at this. Giving yourself credit for the little thing, feeling, actually activating that sense of pride in your chest where you lift up your chest, you feel good about something you did. Maybe it was a little task, but the problem is that you're removing the credit. You're not giving it to yourself. You're saying it only matters if it comes from out there. No, it starts from you acknowledging it in here, filling up your cup, and all of a sudden you don't have that empty cup begging for every single crumb of approval that you can get.
