Dr. Aziz argues that being nice blocks your true self. The fix: ask yourself "What do I want?" throughout the day, say no, ask boldly for what you want, and act despite guilt. Repeated practice works like exposure therapy and earns you more respect.
How to stop being a nice guy. Okay, I'm gonna condense my entire 503 page book down into 58 seconds. You have to realize that nice is not your friend. Nice is actually gonna prevent you from being authentically yourself. The opposite of nice is not to be a jerk. It's to be who you truly, fully are in the world. Then you must make the decision to stop pretending and be nice. And then you will do the not nice behaviors. That means you'll say no when you want to say no. You'll ask more boldly for what you want. You'll make eye contact with other people, and most importantly, you will ask yourself the MVP question again throughout the day, which is, what do I want? That might make you seem like you're more selfish, but actually it's bringing into a healthy range of self interest. And then take that action. It'll feel very uncomfortable, and you'll have to work through the inner guilt, the inner fear. But when you do this, it's like exposure therapy. The more you do it to realize you don't die, you don't lose things in your life. In fact, people start to treat you better and with more respect. And then you'll do it again and again and again. And soon you'll be free to be who you really are in the world.
