How To Stop Being Afraid Of Others!

Are you gonna judge me? Don't. No. I can't handle it. Is that what's happening for you inside? When you speak in front of a group of people, when you walk up to a group of strangers to start a conversation, when you approach someone for a date, are you afraid of them? Look, we like to give it these fancy labels. I have social anxiety disorder. What does that mean? It means I'm scared of people. I mean, they used to call it social phobia and they changed the name slightly. But, you know, we're afraid of people and we're also ashamed of that. I can't be afraid of people. I shouldn't be afraid of anything, let alone people. That makes me not only weak, but, like, less than them. If I'm afraid of them, I feel less than them and they're gonna think less of me, so I need to hide that. So we kind of put on this veneer of like, I'm not afraid of them, but we are. Right? And look, it's okay if you don't want to necessarily reveal that to them. Sometimes that can be really powerful and impact them with your vulnerability and sometimes maybe doesn't feel right to do that. But I don't care about what you say to them. I care about what you say to yourself. Be honest with yourself. Are you afraid of other people? If you feel nervous in any situation around other people, the answer is yes. You might call it nervous or performance anxiety or any other fancy term we want to label it with, but it's fear and we're afraid of other people. So let's just call it what it is and say, yeah, I'm scared of people sometimes. Maybe not all the time. Maybe in certain situations, certain kinds of people. Well, great, let's focus on that in this video. Who are you afraid of? What kind of people scare you? Someone that's really attractive by societal standards. Someone you'd want to date. Someone that you think is really well dressed or successful or has the image of success, whatever that is for you and your community. Someone who is intelligent or outgoing or confident seeming. Who is it that you look at and you feel nervous around them, feel anxious around them, feel afraid. Another thing is you might feel like you really want them to like you. Well, that's a form of insecurity and fear as well. So who are those people? Just think of some kinds of people you're afraid of right now in your life. Okay, good. Now let me ask you this important question. Why? What are you really afraid of? So sometimes the answer that comes to people's mind is rejection. I'm afraid they're reject me. I'm afraid they're not going to like me. I'm afraid they're going to judge me. Okay, so you're afraid of their thoughts and maybe their emotional feeling towards you, is that right? You're afraid that they might think I don't like this guy. She's not smart, he's stupid, he's not good looking. Whatever it is you're afraid of. So you're afraid of their judgmental thoughts and you're also afraid of maybe that they're going to feel like negativity or aversion towards you, is that right? Okay, maybe it's something else. But stick with me. Find out whatever it is for you that you're afraid of. Now let me ask you this follow up question. Why? What about that is so scary? So person B over here does not like me or not even doesn't totally doesn't like me, but has some judgmental thoughts about me or my hairstyle or the way I talk, or the way I look, or my beliefs or my values or whatever, how I raise my kids, they have some judgmental thoughts about that. Why do we need to live in fear of that? Why is that threatening to you? In my experience, the only reason that's threatening to us is when we're not solid in ourselves. So on some level one is I'm imagining that my viewpoint is not valid, my way of doing things is not right. And so when you judge it, you must be right, you know, or you're the authority. Whoever you are, you know, a parent, a friend, a boss, a co worker, a stranger, whoever you are, you're the authority. And so your judgmental thought is true. And I now feel bad. But let's slow this whole process down here. Is that really the case? Is that how you want to live? Why is your sense of yourself and what you think and feel and believe, why is it so rickety? Why is it so shaky? Usually the reason for that is because we're constantly undermining ourselves by having this critic inside. You suck. You're not enough, you're not smart enough, you're not confident enough. And so anytime we get a hint of it out there, we're like, yeah, you knew. I knew it. I was already telling myself this shit anyway. So what is the most valuable thing you can do to stop being scared of other people? It's is to gain control of this thing, to gain control of that critic inside of your mind. In fact, this is so important. This is number the First Step in My five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. And if you haven't heard about that, go get it now at my website. You can get it as a gift from me to you for free@socialconfidencecenter.com it's my ebook 5 Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. So just go over there. It should be a link down in the description to check it out. You can enter your email in, get that ebook instantly and start reading it. Because in there, the very first step is to change the way that you're treating yourself. Change the way you're talking to yourself. I call it fire your toxic coach. Because you have this toxic voice in there that's constantly berating you. And then as a result, you're very sensitive to what everyone else says. So get control of that and then get more solid in yourself. So the next time someone says something that you're scared of or you're feeling anxious about what they're going to think of, you, pull the energy back away from them and they and start looking at you and saying, am I right with myself? And if I'm not, how can I get right with myself? How can I get on my own side so that I am not so shaken by other people's passing perspectives? Awesome. I'm curious. Share below what you're finding most valuable, what you're going to use from this video in your life and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.