How To Stop Criticizing Your Appearance: Physical Confidence | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

Do you love the way that you look in the mirror when you see a picture of yourself or see a reflection of yourself? Do you love the way your face looks, your hair looks, your body looks? Or do you dislike what you see? Do you judge what you see? Do you criticize what you see? Do you feel aversion or maybe even disgust for what you see? If so, you have to watch this episode. Let's free ourselves of that insanity right now. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I AM your host, Dr. Aziz, and this is the show for you if you want to maximize your confidence in every area of life that matters. Your dating life, relationships, your career, your social confidence, your self confidence, and of course, your physical confidence. And this episode is like kind of a blur between your physical confidence and your self confidence. It's really all about how you relate to you in your own mind. So that's what we're going to be talking about. If you like this show, if you're benefiting from it, subscribe. We got more videos coming out on the reg and like and share your comments below. I love reading those and staying engaged with you in that way. So let's get into this. What's your actual experience? Now, most people, when I do this with groups of people and get hand raises, most people have some. So if there's a spectrum from attraction to aversion, this could be with another person, but it could be with some aspect of ourselves, in this case, our physical appearance. So on the one side you have attraction, which is, ooh, I really like. I want more of this. I like it. And then there's aversion, which is like, bleh, I don't like it. And it's a spectrum. Right? You know, we don't love everything equally. Some things we love more. If we really, really like it, it's all the way over here. If we're kind of like, yeah, it's all right, it's there. If we get into, like, I don't. It's not great. That's about here. And then if we get over here, that's when you get in the realm of like, I'm repulsed by it. I'm disgusted by it. Like, ew, get it away from me. So where are you when you look at yourself, when you see yourself in a picture or in the mirror? Now, for a lot of people, the answer is it depends. Depends upon the day. Am I having a good hair day or not? You know, what's the angle of the photo? Does it come down? Because That's a good angle. Does it come up? Because then you see, that's not good, is it? Well, yeah. If I got my shirt on, it's just a picture of my face, then it's fine. But if you see my body or if you see my arms or that, whatever those one, two or three parts of your body that you really don't like, everyone's got them, right? Oh, but not that part. Oh, that part's gross. Or this part. You know what I'm talking about. I'm describing kind of like a normal experience, right? Hold on a second. Isn't that strange that that's normal? Isn't it not normal? Isn't it fucked up that every single one of us is when we look in the mirror feeling negative emotions? Maybe not all the time, but a lot of the time. I mean, why shouldn't it be that way any of the time? Let's just take a step back here. Because we're kind of in it. We're like the fish in the water, in the ocean. And we don't know that we're surrounded by water. It's like, what do you mean? This is just what there is. This is what everyone's going through. It's like, well, hold on a second. If we take a step back and look at it, it can help free us because we're buying into something. We've bought in, we've drank the Kool Aid, and we're just totally living out this pattern which is made up. Think about this. Hundreds of years ago, no one had mirrors. Maybe the royalty, maybe the most wealthy people in the world had mirrors, had looking glasses as they might refer to them. The average person didn't have mirror. You know, a peasant didn't have like a big full body mirror. How does my tunic look today before I go work in the fields? I mean, who knows? Maybe they use polished metal, I don't know. But here's the thing. They weren't looking at themselves in the mirror dozens of times per day. They weren't looking at photos of themselves. They weren't doing selfies of themselves. They weren't looking at themselves. And if you go even further back to a more, say, tribal or indigenous culture, there's probably no appearance, no reflection of. Of yourself looking at yourself. So we're seeing images of ourselves all the time. Not only that, but we have a sort of idealized, perfect image of how a human of our gender is supposed to look. Right? You got that booted up in your head. And usually it's a Very narrow band. For the guys, you're supposed to look like this. This is your shoulders up here and this is your waist. Narrow. And you're supposed to have a six pack and be nothing but muscle, like 8% body fat or something. And for women, you're supposed to be like lean, maybe some curvature, but very, very lean. And no fat in your arms and no fat anywhere. And even though women are, you know, biologically have a higher body fat percentage than men and it's actually healthy, it's like, no, no, no, no, you should not have that. And you should get there by any means possible, including starvation and other things that are unhealthy. To look a certain way. That's the message. That's what we're trying to do. Isn't that insane? That's not normal. That's like sick. There's something wrong there. And so when we see that and we really get it, we can pop out of the hypnosis and say, whoa. And really the path to being fully confident in your physical appearance isn't to get six pack abs. It isn't to lose 20 more pounds. Now look, you might be overweight, you might want to lose 20 pounds. It might even be beneficial for your health to do so. So I'm not going to encourage you not to do that. But what I'm saying is getting there is not the solution. Because I know lots of people that are there that have great bodies and then they criticize, it's not quite perfect yet, or they criticize something else. My hair, I'm losing hair. I hate myself for that. So it just shifts around. So the pattern is what we have to eliminate. And what we need to do is we need to fight against the toxic messages of our culture that told us that the human organism is bad and wrong and gross. And we need to stop perpetuating that because we perceive it of ourselves and we do it to other people and we're just like, everyone fucking sucks. Now we don't say that, but isn't that kind of what we do in our heads, just judging like crazy and we want to stop the madness. And the way you do that is say, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not going to buy into that. Yeah, the human body takes all different shapes and forms and there's all kinds of ways that fat stays on it and it ages differently. And yes, it gets wrinkles and yes, hair falls out or gets gray or there's hair in places on the human animal. Like really start to think of it as an animal. Wouldn't that be weird if you were, like, looking at the savanna in Africa and there was like a thousand zebra, and you were like, somehow they didn't run away from you, and you're just kind of like, walking through them and you're like, that zebra's fucking ugly. That one. That one's gross. That one just looks stupid. Oh, that one's too fat. Like, could you even tell? I was like, yeah, it's a bunch of zebra. Like, whoa, look at their markings, right? So break out of this. And if you want a practical strategy, I was helping with someone in my mastermind with this not too long ago. Is this. I'm going to call it a mirror meditation. So what you do is when you get out of the shower or whatever, where you're naked so you can see your body, and I want you to just take. You can set a timer for this. I would say start with a minute, maybe work up to three minutes, where all you do is look at yourself in the mirror and breathe. It's a meditation. So you're not trying to make anything happen. You're not going like, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I mean, that's something else you could do. That's another form of powerful mirror work. But this is a mirror meditation. And, you know, meditation basically is you just notice your experience and bring your attention back so you notice your mind. So you're looking in the mirror and you're, like, judging my eyes. Okay? And you just bring yourself back to your breath and just look at the body and just look at it like an organ. It's like, here's this organism, here's this animal, and just do that. The client who did that, he reported back a week later and said it was profound what he noticed, what his experience, like, the level of aversion he felt really shifted. He just started to notice and appreciate himself more. And maybe you would even start to experience that, or you actually start to appreciate. Not like, well, because I look this way and that way, it's like, look at this, look at this. Do you have any idea what's happening in there right now to keep you alive? Do you know how many trillions of processes are happening right now? And all the cells in your body and all the peptides that are being communicated and all the energy that's being transmitted and all the packets of food and information and blood and lymph and neurons firing, and, I mean, we're talking, like, trillions of connections in your body firing seamlessly so you can just, like, grab a sip of water, eat a bite of sandwich, everything works. It's incredible. It's a miracle. What if you saw it as that? What if you fully broke free? I would love for that to happen for you. Please share in your comments below what you're learning from this, how it works for you, what the mirror meditation does. Because, look, we gotta be free of this insanity, so then we can go out there and do what we're here to do, which is not to obsess over your body. So I love you, you are awesome, and I can't wait to see you in future videos.