How To Stop Worrying | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

Do you worry a lot? Do you worry too much? Is worry kind of one of the dominant things that you do with your free time all day, throughout the day? And do you worry about social situations and future and all that stuff? And how is it affecting you? And most importantly, would you like to know how to stop worry? If so, watch this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and let's talk about how to not worry. This is a huge topic. There's lots about this. You could probably find hundreds of articles online and all different strategies. I want to share a few key tips that I know work for me and for clients that I've been using for years, and some of them were recently discovered. So as soon as I discover something and it's helpful and I'm going to share it with you in this way because that's what I'm here to do. Operation Mass Liberation. So worrying is toxic in so many ways, and we know that it doesn't help us, and we know that it's making us anxious and it's hard to stop. Isn't it like just saying, I'm not going to worry about that? Does that work? I don't know. Sometimes, but often not. It feels like worry has a mind of its own. So let's. I'm going to share a few key tips with you in this video on things that can help you shift this. So first things first is I want you to think of a house. Or I'm thinking my office right here, which is a little studio. So it's got a door and a window, but like a little. You're an enclosure. Think of a house, a small house, or maybe the house that you live in. And I want you to imagine that you are the house and you are the owner of that house. You have dominion over that house, and you determine what comes into your house, what you allow in. So, you know, just like if someone knocks on your door and you open the door and like, who are they? Are they a friend? Are they someone you don't know? Are you going to let them in or not? You decide all that. And that's the same. That's how we want to start to treat. Like some of the voices and the reoccurring thoughts in our mind is like, do I want this in my house? And it's amazing how if you just start to use this imagery, there's certain things that you can just say, I don't want to open the door to that. And it's Just like, something about the actual image of the house helps you not let something in. Or sometimes, you know, that shit creeps through under the door, breaks in through a window, and all of a sudden, the worry's in your house. Now, in that case, what do you do? Well, without this imagery, without being sort of the master of our domain, what happens is that voice comes in. The worry voice comes in. We're like, oh, oh, geez. Okay, all right. Well, here. Just have whatever you want in the house and just. Whatever. Just do whatever. I'm so scared. I'm doomed. And we want to shift that and say, like, no, no, I'm in charge here. What are you doing? Okay. All right. And you want to, like, with respect but firmness, escort that worry out of your house now. So first of all, use that imagery. Play around with it. It's very powerful. But I think one obstacle that people find when they use this is like, yeah, but there's a part of us that thinks we need to worry, that that worry is preparing us. Worry is like, well, the future is uncertain or something bad might happen. And if I worry about it, I'm somehow, like, more prepared and safe, which is complete and total bullshit. You're not more prepared. You're not more safe. It's not actually. It's weakening you. Actually, it's gonna make you less resourceful and less confident, less powerful. Deal with that thing if it ever occurred. But it's hard to let go because it feels very vulnerable to be like, well, I'm just not even gonna worry about it. I'm not even gonna think about it. And that part's like, wait a minute. You're not gonna think. You're not gonna worry about it. But all these things could happen. So here's what you do. And I found this really helpful. I just been experimenting with this in the last maybe month or so with myself and some clients, and it's been really powerful. And here's what you do. You adopt the identity of this. I don't worry. I solve problems. I don't worry. I solve problems. That's what I started saying to myself one day. It's like, I don't worry. I solve problems. And so I was like, look, if a worry is reoccurring and it's pointing to a problem in my life, I'm gonna solve it. So I started a file on my phone called I solve problems. And if I noticed a worry, you know, come up during the day, and I would basically use the house imagery and be like, you know, no, thank you, I don't. We don't need this right now. And then it would be like, if it came back or if it was like, oh, this worry keeps occurring about something, I'd be like, oh, is this a problem that we need to address? You know, is this some situation that needs to be handled? Is this a legitimate thing that I need to look at? And if so, I open up the I solve problems file on my phone and I go down and I like, say, okay, there's a problem here. You look at some, you know, I don't know, let's say I'm worrying about finances and taxes or something like that. Then I'd be like, okay, I need to address, you know, so what is the problem like? Now I'm thinking rationally, I'm like, okay, what is the problem? And remember, I solve problems. So the problem is I need to research about X, Y and Z regarding my taxes and talk to my accountant about X. Okay? So I write that down. Now that is going to be a problem that I'm going to need to solve. And maybe I need to do some research, do some homework, talk to the accountant, figure stuff out. I am going to solve that problem during a set time. There's going to be a set time in my schedule where I'm going to solve that problem or I'm going to give focus and thought to that problem. And maybe a problem is not so tangible. Maybe the problem is like, you know, I worry a lot about my, I'm aging or I worry a lot about my appearance or something like that for you, right? So then, great, that's still a problem because it's a problem because it's bothering me. So I am going to need to solve that problem. And here's the beauty. Every problem has a solution. I'll get to that in a sec. But I'm going to solve that problem because I solve problems. Just start saying that to yourself all the time. I solve problems. It just makes you want to smile because you feel badass. You feel like Vanilla Ice, yo, you got a problem, I'll solve it. So I solve problems. So I'm going to set aside time to solve that problem of my issue or insecurity about my appearance or my tax situation. Whatever the problem is, I'm going to solve that. But I'm only going to work on that problem during the problem solving time. So if I'm at the gym and I start worrying about finances or worrying about my appearance, I say, look, listen, that problem's already on The I solved problems list. And we're going to solve that. We have problem solving time, so we don't need to do that. And then you escort the worry out of your house. And the reason this is so powerful is now that, like, the way that worry can hook you is like, yeah, but if you don't pay attention to this, bad things are going to happen. And it's like, no, no, I am going to pay attention to this. But when I'm actually solving a problem, because are you going to solve that problem by, like, ruminating on it when you're doing something else? No, it's just background noise in your head while you're at the gym and you're trying to solve your tax problem. Like, no, you're just worrying. So it's not solving the problem. So sit down and solve the problem and find out for you what problem solving time looks like. Is it 10 minutes every morning? Is it for 30 minutes at the end of the day? Is it. You schedule it two times a week. You have half hour, an hour block. That's called problem solving. And you put on your schedule and you actually stick to it. And you solve the problem then or you address it. And one last thing I want to end this episode with is I said every problem can be solved. What do I mean by that? Well, there's kind of two ways that problems can be solved. Either you can shift something in the external world. So in the case of the tax problem, it's obvious, right? You know, you got to compile some documents, get some records, do some boring shit like that and make it happen. In the case of other problems, if you cannot do something external, or if you don't need to do something external, then the solution is surrender or acceptance, like your appearance. What is it? Am I overweight? Well, can I do something about that? Well, yeah, maybe I can get better shape. Maybe I can start working out. Maybe I'm not eating very well. Great. Now I can solve that problem. But let's say it's like aging. And you're like, oh, I don't like that I have wrinkles right now, or, oh, man, I'm losing my hair. And it's like, okay, do I want to do something about that? I have that one about my hair slowly receding. And I had a question. This is many years ago, and I started noticing it happening and I was like, oh, should I do something about that? And I was like, it was an actual legitimate question. I started looking around, like, should I take a pharmaceutical drug? Should I use some sort of shampoo. And I sat with it for a while, and I was like, I don't actually want to do that. I think I just want to let it happen, right? And then the solution to the problem is letting go. The solution to your wrinkles is to let them happen. And to surrender into, like, this is what it is to be a human on this planet. I age, and if society has taught me that that's bad or wrong, then I need to overcome that. I need to rise above those insane, toxic messages. So a lot of problems, if there's not a specific external solution, it's to let go, it's to surrender. It's to trust in life. It's to allow things to move in a way that you don't have total control over, and that is how you solve the other set of problems. So every problem has a solution. Now, sometimes it takes a lot of inner work and surrender and growth to be consistently able to let go. But, hey, that's what we're here to do, is grow and learn, right? So, speaking of growing and learning, if you like this and you want more, hit subscribe. And also click the little Bell notification so you can see when new episodes come out. Because the more you study this stuff, the more you learn, the more confident you get, the better your life gets. So thanks for being with me today. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.