How To Thrive As An Empath with Dr. Judith Orloff

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. This is the show for you. If you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self doubt, social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence, first in myself and then in every single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. Hey, welcome. Today's episode of the show. I am excited to be with you here. Today we have a fantastic interview with someone who I really respect and admire, that I've learned a lot from her writings and her books. And her name is Dr. Judith Orloff, and we'll be introducing her in just a moment and diving into that interview. But we're going to be getting into being an empath, what that means, what that term means, how it might be happening for you, how it relates to confidence and social anxiety and socializing and being in groups and interacting with people, how to navigate being sensitive, having strong feelings, navigating relationships, interactions with other people, workplace, all kinds of things. We dive into really looking at how to navigate the world as someone who might be more responsive to others, more empathic to others, more able to pick up on what other people are thinking and feeling, even if they don't say it. And this is part of what being an empath is. This is something I definitely relate to in my life. And we're gonna be diving in with Dr. Judith Orloff to learn all about that and how you can thrive as an empath. So without further ado, let's dive into that interview. My guest Expert today is Dr. Judith Orloff. She is transforming the face of psychiatry because she takes the traditional approach of psychiatry and expands it based on the idea that we are keepers of an innate intuitive intelligence so perceptive that it can tell us how to heal and prevent illness. Yet intuition and spirituality are the very aspects of our wisdom. Usually disenfranchised from traditional healthcare. Dr. Orloff is accomplishing for psychiatry what physicians like Dean Ornish and Mehmet Oz have done for mainstream medicine. She's proving that the links between physical, emotional and spiritual health can't be ignored. She was called in the Nation magazine one of the frontier people in health who was not satisfied with the existing order and pushed for an expansion of knowledge. She's a New York Times best selling author and is on the UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty. And she specializes in treating empaths and sensitive people. In her Los Angeles based private practice, she has spoken at medical schools, hospitals, the American Psychiatric Association, Google, Fortune magazine, all kinds of different summits and news stations and all kinds of places where she can spread this message because it's so needed in our society right now. And fortunately it is being heard and she has the courage to share it. So thank you so much for being with us today, Dr. Orloff.

You're so welcome.

So many people listening to this show struggle with confidence and social anxiety and many of them, just like me, did not realize that a lot of their social anxiety comes from being very empathic or as you would call an empath. And that this can lead to a lot of anxiety in groups, around other people, interactions with others. And so just to kind of start to broaden people's awareness, maybe you could describe briefly what an empath is and maybe how it relates to social anxiety or how it might affect us socializing with others.

Yeah, so I'm a psychiatrist and I'm also an empath. And what an empath is is somebody who is an emotional sponge and who doesn't have the same kind of boundaries and filters other people have. So we feel everything. Empaths can feel other people's emotions, they could feel other people's physical symptoms sometimes and are prone to sensory overload. And when you're on sensory overload, the last thing you want to do is socialize. So social anxiety is connected to sensory overload and it's not usually thought of that way. But as an empathy, if you're grounded and centered and are practicing self care techniques, then that sensory overload won't happen or it'll happen a lot less frequently. And that's why I wrote Thriving as an empath. It's 365 days of self care for sensitive people. So if you're an empath, if you identify as an empath or sensitive person, you can practice the self care techniques for social anxiety before you go out. Or, you know, empaths often prefer one to one contacts or small groups rather than large gatherings. I very infrequently go to large gatherings because I just don't prefer them. It's just too overstimulating for me. I'd rather sit at a dinner table with, you know, one or two people and talk to them. Go into a large group though. I will, I'll go to a concert And I'll. But, but in those cases where I am around large groups, I, you know, really practice the self care techniques in the book. I ground myself, I center, I meditate, I breathe, I spend a lot of alone time before I go out. So I'm not overstimulated before I go out and then, you know, I can have a great time. Yeah, it's all connected to being an empath a lot of times.

And what I'm hearing, what you're saying is that the self care can take many forms. There are specific practices that you talk about in thriving as an empath and I love how you broke it up to one a day. So it's not just here's a list of a million things, it's well just they get a chance to practice one a day and really see which ones fit and work well. So it's partly the practices. But you also mentioned taking care of yourself by knowing yourself and knowing what kinds of environments you want to go into and if you are going to go into a larger group, you know, having a plan ahead of time to set yourself up to be able to do well in that environment. So there's a very multifaceted approach to self care.

Oh, very multifaceted. And the book is also deeply connected to the seasons of the year, the solstices and the cycles of the moon. So that people can get used to connecting as part of their self care to nature. And nature not just taking a walk in the woods or the trees, it's nature in the capital N the universe. Part of my self care practice and ritual is to do certain prayers and meditations on the full moon and the new moon to replenish my energy and reconnect to myself. And that's ever so helpful.

And so when someone is around someone, you said a sponge. So and I've definitely noticed this in myself. I could be around someone even in a one on one context and then you know, start to feel in a sense their emotional pain or you know, physical pain. And so in those moments, and obviously the specific practices are going to be laid out in the book. But it sounds like you're talking about kind of letting that energy move through you and then into the earth or other practices as opposed to having it get stuck in there or blocked in some way. Is that sort of how it works?

Yeah, absolutely. And number one, you don't want to freak out if you're around somebody and suddenly you're starting to feel a little more anxious or a little more tired. Just notice, always ask Yourself, the question, is this emotion or physical symptom mine or someone else's? You have to get used to asking yourself that question. And how do you know? You have to know how you felt before you met the person and then how you are with the person. And so then you can judge the difference. If suddenly you begin to feel anxious and depressed, I mean, it could be your own anxiety, but a lot of times it's not just yours, it's somebody else's that you're picking up. And so in that case, you know, don't panic. Begin breathing, deep breathing to breathe out the anxiety, to breathe out the stress, oftentimes hold their breath in those situations. And that keeps the tension inward. So do a lot of deep breathing. You want to get as far away from them physically as you can. If you're in a conversation, just take a few steps back, because the closer you are to someone, the more you'll be privy to their feelings and, you know, pick things up. If you're an empath. So you don't want to be on top of someone when you talk, and I'm sure you don't as an empath, you don't like it.

Yeah. And one thing, I'm a big fan of your work. I'm looking forward to thrive as an. As an empath. Thriving as an empath. I really found the Empath Survival Guide very helpful for me, especially because as I started to work with bigger groups of people and then lead live events, that truly became necessary survival. And in a way, and then. And then also the ecstasy of surrender. And the most powerful impact of reading your work was not just the techniques, but understanding. Oh, this is something I need to understand how to do. I think there was a period of time when I first looked at, someone recommended the Empath Survival Guide. And I started to read it and I was like, ah, no, I'm not that. I don't want to be limited in that way. I'm not affected in these ways. And I put it down for about a year. And then after a year I was like, okay, I can keep kind of trying to just deny it and suffer through it, or I can say I need to get really good at learning how to live as an empath and thrive as an empath. And then I re immersed in your work. And what I saw was that just knowing, oh, this kind of thing can happen to me, all of a sudden, all the techniques you share and even other ones I would come up with, how to deal with it all became a lot more clear. Once I really got, oh, this is an important thing for me to navigate probably for my whole life. And so I think that's one of the most powerful things you teach.

That is huge. And you know, especially for men, they might have a harder time, you know, getting in touch with their empath selves and embracing it. I have a Facebook empath support community and it's maybe 90% women and 10% men. And then the women often ask, where are all the men? Why aren't they commenting? And then they kind of come out slowly and, and they feel more hesitant to. To share their own emotions and empathic experiences for fear of being judged.

I think a part of it too. I absolutely see that. And the socialization as men, you know, does in general don't feel be tougher and harder. And I think there's also an element of, you know, you're describing, you're pointing to something that's like the invisible obvious, that we're very affected by each other, that emotion and other things can be transmitted, you know, invisibly across space and time. And I think there's an element of that that can feel very vulnerable to people. It's like, wait, I could be affected, but just by being near somebody. And I think that was part of my resistance is like, no, I don't want to be that sensitive, that affected. And it really touches on stuff that's not intellectual, not rational, not left brain. And I think that's another reason why myself and I know other people can initially deny that. Maybe especially men.

Yeah, no, I think you have a great point. And the new paradigm of men that I'm talking about is to be vulnerable and strong. Not to be vulnerable and wiped out by everything, but to be vulnerable. And I stand in my power with my empath self. I stand in my power with feeling. I stand in my power with practicing this self care technique. And I can say no to you in a nice way and feel good about it, you see. So is just a different way of perceiving it. And I like your explanation a lot of what you went through and I think it's useful if you share that with men and women that they could really relate to that.

Yeah, absolutely. And so part of letting go of that energy and whatever it is that we're taking in from others is having the awareness that it's happening and, and then kind of reconnecting, you said with nature or using nature. I know you are, in your work, your mission, you combine, you've expanded in a way psychiatry to include intuition and Spirituality and energy and these things that I think we're lacking. So someone who maybe is kind of new to that world. When you hear like, okay, connect with nature, release energy before they dive into your book and really get a sense of that. Just here listening to this, what would you suggest? How could they start to make sense of what that means? Okay, they're sitting next to someone and then they're feeling stuff and they're like, wait a minute, this is not mine. I wasn't feeling this way before. They're with you so far now. What's an example of a thing or two they can do in that moment.

That will help them take a few deep breaths, ask themselves, is this mine or is this another? There's so much research that's been done on contagious emotions. And when you have a workplace, let's say, and somebody comes in fearful and anxious, it spreads like a virus throughout the whole workplace. I mean, this is scientifically proven for those of you who need that. And the same is true with positive emotions. If somebody comes in the workplace hopeful, positive, let's have a great day, let's have success today, that spreads also. So it's just the nature of emotions that they spread. And the fact that we're connected to other people shouldn't come as a surprise. But I think when people are overly intellectualized, they see everyone as separate. But if you're also tuning into your intuition and your empathy, you feel how the human race is one family and all connected. So it makes good sense that we might care about each other and feel what's going on in like minded species, you know?

Mm, yeah, I love that. And so what are your thoughts about? I think there's kind of two different approaches that I've heard from people around protecting ourselves or not taking on other people's feelings, experiences, energy, that sort of thing. And kind of one is the model of like, well, you erect kind of a boundary. Like there's visualizations to imagine a ball around you or water around you or something that kind of keeps the bad out, as it were. And then there's another school of thought that's promoted, say by Reginald Ray and other meditation teachers that's very much like, well, you can try to do that stuff, but you can't really create that separation from others. So what's going to happen is you're going to be affected anyway. And what we want to do is really get good at, you know, not contracting on anything in our body and just letting stuff move through us and surrender and just Let it go. Do you have a thought on that?

Yeah, I do. In all the self care techniques I have in thriving, they include both techniques. It's never either or for me. I always, you know, incorporate the greatest wisdom from all traditions. And so you have to see what works for you. It's not what I believe in, it's what works for you. So you've got to try it out. You know, sometimes I work with a lot of therapists and train healthcare practitioners on how to be an intuitive empathic therapist who use the shielding technique with difficult patients or borderline patients. And it really helps. It makes therapy possible so they're not demolished by the energy and the anger of various types of patients, not just that diagnosis. Whereas my primary practice is allowing things to flow through me rather than putting up a defense. Because I'm a daoist, I come from a Taoist tradition and so I'm a big meditator. And I learned how to center myself and come back to my heart rather than letting myself be thrown off by the frenzy of the world. Whether it's a person's energy or, you know, the news, that's my practice, daily practice, every day. So it just depends. You can do both, you can do one. There is no right or wrong. Just see what works in your body. Each of our bodies is very different. So you have to test these techniques in the book out and see, some will go, wow, I'm going to use this one. And others you might go, nah, it doesn't really work for me. And that's the point, you know, you have to try them and get your own toolkit together so that when you're, you're, let's say, you know, you're getting in a difficult situation. Let's say, you know, you have to go to a office Christmas party or something and you're not really looking forward to going. Now develop a strategy. Maybe you want to shield yourself, maybe you want to meditate before you go. Maybe you want to drink a lot of water because water is very cleansing. Eat a protein meal to be grounded. Don't go there, you know, not having eaten. So there are all kinds of strategies you can use, you know, to prepare yourself discerningly for certain situations so they don't, you know, lambast you and you're not flattened by exhaustion when you're done with it.

Mm. And I'd imagine in the book, once that's happened and someone is, maybe they, they didn't prepare or they didn't know what to do, or they're still learning about this. And then they are kind of flattened or laid out or they feel like they've taken on a lot. Are there different techniques for kind of releasing stuff that's already in there versus beforehand or is it the same stuff you just need to make sure you do it afterwards?

Well, no, if I ever notice, I go on sensory overload as an empath. I immediately go in my room, close the door, decrease stimulation, maybe turn down the lights, not listen to any sounds, open the door, look up at the sky, feel the breeze, meditate. So I bring down the stimulation level and that's important. You have to learn how to bring it down. It's when you're on sensory overload as an empath, it's really painful and it's feeling. So I try not to let myself go that far. As I practice a lot of self care. The techniques I talk about in the thriving are all techniques I use. I use every single one of them and there's 365 different techniques. So I use all of them at different points and I, and I really mean that. You just have to have your techniques ready, you know, and if you do go over the line and you go on sensory overload, just start with self compassion. Don't what, whatever you do, don't make any decisions in that state or say anything you, you will regret. As I know when I get in that overload state, I feel like I can't do anything. I mean I can't have a relationship, I can't do other things. I'm like, I want out, you know, because it's just so much and you don't want to say anything, you want to cry, you want to be alone, you want to take a bath, you want to somehow bring your energy down. So you learn to work with yourself as part of the practices of being an empath. And it's not horrible work. It's very empowering to be able to know yourself that well. You know, it's a beautiful self knowledge and self healing is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I'm all for it. And it's so liberating rather than just reacting to everything mindlessly.

Yeah, I love that. I mean, and as you're describing these things, just the images of it, like when you're overloaded, just getting out into nature, looking up at the sky or taking a breath and, and I'd imagine you mentioned daoism earlier that you know, the more you like anything, the more you practice, the more it can feel like there's something that's coming your way and you're able to, you know, move to the side and watch it pass, or if it does hit you or hook you, you're able to more skillfully, in a graceful way, kind of unhook yourself. And I'd imagine the more and more you practice that there can be a sense of enjoyment or delight at being able to navigate the world in a way that. That doesn't hurt so much and can bring so much more joy.

Right. And it's a form of empowerment when you can do these things. This is an empowered person. And you guess you know yourself and you know how to work with yourself. And if you go over the line sometimes and you get overstimulated, then you work with that too. But you work with self compassion. And one of the. The dates in the book that I put, don't beat yourself up or beat yourself up a little bit less each day, because I know working with patients all these years, everybody's beating themselves silently. If you were to get an inside, you know, audio of people's heads, that's what they do a lot. They beat themselves up. So my spiritual teacher says, just beat yourself up a little bit less each day and that's progress.

Yeah, yeah. Because otherwise people can go. They can beat themselves up for beating themselves up. Isn't that.

It's exhausting. You could put yourself on sensory overload with your own mind.

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's really powerful. In fact, that's. The next book I'm working on is called Omos On My Own side. And that's what I found, is that, you know, people, everyone as you're describing, but especially people who struggle with social anxiety, want more confidence, want more authenticity. I think the biggest obstacle really is that voice inside, that attitude we have towards ourselves that can be very direct and critical and judgmental. But then there's also this kind of subtle stance that's not even overt, direct verbal criticism of ourselves, just a subtle stance of not trusting ourselves, impatient, not very empathic with ourselves. And I think that this is painful for anyone and is going to be even more painful for someone who's. Who's empathic and sensitive. And it's such a harsh way to treat ourselves. So I love how you're including that as a necessary part of this empowerment.

It really is. And it's so much easier to be nicer to other people, more compassionate to other people than it is to be for ourselves and everybody know that's natural. It's harder to be compassionate with yourself, but it's so worthwhile. And sometimes it's nice just to have some affirmations available. You know, I am a beautiful, empathic person. I deserve to be authentic. I deserve to manage my energy with love and compassion. You know, I deserve happiness. Whatever your affirmations are, it's so nice to just say them, even if you're not feeling it. You know, that's what I want to emphasize. Just act as if, you know, like they say in 12 step programs, just say the affirmation. Even though you're not there, it will still work.

You know, you said something earlier that I'd love to circle back to about that approach that you've moved towards more is related to Taoism and kind of the surrendering and coming into center and watching these circumstances and energies and experiences move past, whether it's in the world or other people or emotions and, you know, staying in the center. And I just imagine like a willow tree or something that kind of bends and moves as the winds blow. And I'm wondering about people who are drawn to that approach. Maybe you could kind of guide us through what you might do, let's say a common occurrence. Someone says something, someone you're in a relationship with, a colleague, a friend, a partner, and they're doing something that you don't like, it's irritating to you. You feel judgments about them, and then you're kind of, you know, angry inside and you're kind of navigating that. What might you do in that moment? You know, using surrender or thriving as an empath technique. How about you kind of in a throwing you like a little scenario here just to see what you might say so we can learn from it. How would you navigate that internally?

Well, I'm on alert for when I'm emotionally triggered, and I emphasize that a lot. In thriving as an empath, you need to know your emotional triggers. And when you start going into judgment on people, what irritates you, what annoys you the most? So you can deal with your own triggers and begin to heal them. You know, did your mother criticize you? And, you know, if a colleague starts criticizing, is that amplified a hundredfold because of the early criticism? And how can you heal that? So whenever I feel triggered, I always ask myself, all right, what in me is being activated here? And so I try and look at it that way. And I practice the ho' opono, ho' oponopono prayer, which is also one of the dates in the book that I write about, where it's a way of being fully accountable for what you judge other people for. So if you point the finger at somebody else, let's say for being judgmental, you can say the pono pono prayer. And, you know, I'm basically. Own your own judgment and say, please forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you. Please forgive me for being judgmental. I'm sorry for being judgmental. And then I love you, which is, you know, I love myself. Thank you. Thank you for this opportunity to grow. So you're owning it, and when you own it, guess what happens to the other person? And your feelings about judgment, you know, suddenly they don't bother you as much. When you start to own that, you might have those qualities, too. So that's just one technique to use.

Yeah, that's very, very helpful. And I can see how it kind of pulls back into you. And it's easy to get sort of focused on what. What they did and why they're bad and why you don't like it. And you're. You're describing it in a way that really, you know, pulls us back to. To be working inside of ourselves.

Yeah, look at the world. I mean, you can see the results of pointing the finger and not being accountable for your own involvement in anything. No, he did it. No, it's their fault. You know, that's a very, very low form of consciousness to lead your life that way. And the goal is to just make an effort and, you know, sincere effort to. To not lead your life that way, to be accountable for yourself. Because I think it was Mother Teresa who said, you know, honey, guess what? It's never been them. It's always been you. And it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, but it's your job to grow, and it's your job to heal. And other people, I believe, play a very important role with that, even if we don't like them. Now they're teaching you how to heal something in yourself. Because once you've healed, let's say, your anxiety or your fear a little bit outside, people seem a lot less irritating and annoying when they get anxious or judgmental.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's absolutely right. You know, as we grow and expand internally and maybe soften some of those fixed perspectives and hard edges, it's amazing how much more fluid and open the world might seem and other people might seem, too.

Yeah, it's amazing. And I'm looking here at the thriving book, and I see on May 11, around Mother's Day, I have a selection called I Am Not My Mother. And this is so important because to be fully empowered, you have to realize you're a separate person from your mother and let go of all the critical, negative voices you might have integrated that are your mother's voice, not your own. So what I have here is I have a set, your intention, part of every selection. And I have. It is not my job to take on my mother's pain. I will learn from all the lessons she taught me, both positive and difficult. I will bless her journey. But no, it is a different path than my own. That is so important because empaths often take on their mother's anxiety or their mother's critical voice or. And it is essential that you cut the cord to that and not keep enacting that in your everyday life with your relationships. And it's a really wonderful exercise. But just know you are not your mother, you are not your father. Whatever they did is them. But empath children often feel it's their responsibility to help heal, take on. And then as adults, they still have the mother's critical voice saying, you know, no, you need to go out with this kind of guy or woman. No, this other one isn't good, you know, so you can still integrate that, you know, and you want to let that go so you can be free and surrendered and find out what's right for you in your life. But part of working with yourself as an empath is letting go of the parental voices that no longer belong in you.

I love that. You know, there's one final question I want to ask you before we can talk a little bit about the book and when and where people can get it. But you mentioned surrender a few times in this. In our conversation. And I know that you have another book called the Ecstasy of Surrender, which I would highly recommend for people listening. And just in your own words, what does that mean? To surrender, to live a life of surrender, to have that be part of your practice and so we can give an idea and a sense for people listening.

Well, surrender is knowing when to go forward with something and knowing when to let go and always tuning into your intuition to find out. It's not just being passive and waiting for life to come to you. It's knowing the rhythms of life. And that's how getting in touch with the seasons is so important, to get in touch with the rhythms life so you don't push yourself into oblivion and stress yourself out and go on sensory overload. So there are certain times where it's wisdom to let go, and it's hard. Now I know when I was promoting that book. I got a lot of pushback because people were saying, well, why do I need to surrender? Isn't that something bad? They think, you know, they honestly, I'm glad you laugh, but you know, a lot of people think, no, I want to fight to the very end. You know, and sometimes it's appropriate to, you know, not to fight but to be assertive. And sometimes it's appropriate not to, you know, and to let go or be the mountain and let things come to you. There's certain times in life when it's more appropriate to do that rather than push, push, push when the door isn't open. So surrender is the key principle. It's a spiritual principle really that will help you to let go of some of your clenching and worry and fear and just have a little faith in the flow of life.

Yeah, I love that. I think that's there's so much wisdom in that and so much more potential for a deeper, truer form of strength that comes from that flow with life, that alignment with the life that you're talking about. So I love it. This is the end of our time. But Dr. Orloff, so a couple things. One, the book thriving as an Empath is coming out on October 22nd and it's available for pre order now on Amazon. And of course when it comes out people can get it on Amazon and imagine all over ways that books are distributed. And also though for those who are so I'm in Portland, Oregon and those listening who are local in Portland, you're actually going to be in Portland on Tuesday, November 12, 2019 to be talking about thriving as an empath. It's at 7pm There's a book talk and signing at New Renaissance Bookshop which is in the Northwest. For those of you who are in Portland, you can look it up New Renaissance Bookshop and go to that page, newrenbooks.com n e w r e n books.com to find out about that. If you're local or nearby in Seattle you could come down as well. And then there's a book and then also Dr. Olaf for people just to get in touch with your work in general, follow you, maybe get an emails from you. What's the best place for them to go?

You could go to my website which is Dr. Judithorloff.com O R L O F.com and I want to say I also have an empath survival guide online course. It's nine video lessons that you could download at your convenience. If you want to go deeper into skills and coping with being an empath.

Oh, fantastic. Well, thank you so much for sharing with us today your wisdom. I mean, you know, there's such a depth that are in your books. I know we could just get a little sense of it today. But there's so much that comes through in the way you think about the questions I ask and your responses. And I highly recommend anyone listening who relates to empath or is curious about it, has family members that are dealing with it to really understand how to live with more empowerment. So go to her website and of course, get the book when it comes out in October. Thriving as an Empath. Thank you again for being with us.

You're very welcome.

And that brings us to the end of the interview. But before we go, let's figure out how you can put this into action. Time for action. Action, action. So the biggest action I think you can take from this, I mean, we talked about numerous techniques and of course you could get even more from her books and the new one coming out. But the biggest action you can take immediately right now is to see if you identify with this whole conversation and being an empath and if you're wondering, like, is that something that sounds similar for me or I can relate to that, that is gonna be the most important action is to really investigate if this is relevant to you. Because if it is, that could be a major turning point in your life. I know it was for me when I opened the doorway to possibility, like, oh, maybe this does relate to me. And as you heard in the interview, I kind of rejected it at first. But then I became more receptive and it's given me a tenfold increase in my ability to use my empathic powers to read people situations, to feel more, to make better decisions, because I can take more things into account intuitively and then be able to navigate the kind of the challenges of it, right? The taking out of emotions and feeling overwhelmed or overloaded, as she described it. So it's led to nothing but good things in my life to really discover that about myself. And so if you're thinking about it, it seems to maybe make sense. I understand there's kind of a process of discovery there. Just go a little deeper, you know, go check out her website. Go look at her other book, Empath Survival Guide. Get the new one when it comes out. Just kind of start to poke around in there. Because what you might find is you gain this whole skill set of tools that allows you to fully embrace being you more instead of trying to shut everything down and protect yourself. So that's your action set for today. And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.

Thanks for listening to Shrink for the shy guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkfortheshyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com.

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