How To Trust Yourself Again After Making Mistakes

How can you trust yourself again after you've made mistakes in your life? This is a question that comes up often when I work with clients around confidence. Because somewhere in the past they, and perhaps you, perhaps all of us, have made some mistakes or have had things not go the way that you would want. And maybe you can pinpoint a mistake you made. Maybe it was just it fell apart. This could be a relationship. This could be a career situation, job, workplace environment, a business. This could be just anything where you open yourself up, open your heart up to possibility and say, yeah, I'm going for it. It could be a, you know, trip to a foreign country. In my case, it was getting a couple of pets, you know, or something where you really open up and then something goes south. Maybe you make some mistakes, maybe, maybe just things. You don't even know what happened. It just didn't go well. And then what? Afterwards there's pain, right? The relationship falls apart. In our case, we had to re home the pets. Painful for me and my kids. It's awful, right? Or the business goes under or something happens. And then what was very common is we create this shell around ourselves that says, man, I'm never doing that again. I can't trust again. I can't trust in myself, I can't trust in others, or I can't trust in life because, hey, I did it before and look what happened. And can you see how that mindset might protect you? Sort of. But it certainly doesn't help you create an extraordinary life and it doesn't help you build more confidence and really probably do what you really want to do, right? It's like, well, I tried that relationship thing and it didn't work out. So I guess I'm just never going to do that again. And that's what a lot of people are doing. And if you look, you might want to reflect in your own life and where different areas and see, where am I doing that? Have I shut down in a certain area and usually behind that is like, I don't know how to trust myself again. I don't trust it's going to be any different. So how do you find that trust? How do you create that confidence? Well, it involves one thing first and foremost, which is faith. Right? Faith is to believe in something that has not existed or you don't see because you can say, I can see the outcomes from the past. I can remember them and they were bad. But how do I know? How do I know that the future is going to be different? Well, you don't Know you really don't, right? Who knows? How do we know? It's the future, it's uncertain. It's the unknown. And so the question is, how do you relate to that unknown? How do you dance with it? How do you interface with it? Are you guarded up and shut down and just trying to barrel through? Are you backing your way through life? Don't hurt me. Are you opening up again? People say, yeah, but I don't want to open up again because remember, what happened before was really painful. Well, here's a couple things that might give you that courage to move forward with faith. Well, first things first. What are you moving towards? Right? Because faith is. Fear is about getting away from something, right? I got to get away from the pain of that. I got to never have that happen again. Faith is about moving towards something. So what are you moving towards? What's your vision of what you really would want to create if everything went better or fantastic or beyond your wildest dreams? This next time? How would you want it to go in that relationship, in that business with those pets, whatever the scenario was? And when I ask people this, you'll be amazed. When I ask them this, they'll say, well, here's how I want it to go, Aziz. I want. Let's take a relationship example, right? Like, I want to get into a relationship that's. That's loving and not like my last relationship where it was this and that and that. And they start to go on this litany of all the bad things from the past. And I said, wow, seems like it's hard to focus on what you want and your mind keeps going back to the pain. And if I keep looking back at the pain, what am I more likely to recreate? More of the same. And so we can create these self sabotaging, self fulfilling prophecies. So you got to get clear on, like, what do I really want to create and make sure it's not full of a bunch of not that bad stuff, right? And then. Then what? Well, then you say, well, how do I know that I'm going to get that on my second attempt or my third attempt? I mean, the first one and the second one was terrible. So I'm only willing to try it one more time. And then if I get what I want, great. It's like, dude, you don't have that leverage with God, with life. You're not on those terms where you're like, list, you hear me? You better give me what I want or else. Like, you don't have an or else. Option, and neither do I. You're a human. You're not divine. We're not in control of this whole thing, so we can't have that demanding attitude towards life. It just doesn't work. So what's more powerful is a willing attitude. Yeah, you know what? This is what I really want, and I'm going to go for it. And I sure hope it happens on the second time or the third time, but if it doesn't, I'm going to learn. It'll happen on the fourth time or the fifth time or the eighth time. I don't know. That's not my. My control is not the timeline. My control is whether I keep showing up and opening my heart. And here's something that's really going to help you with that. Know this, that you learn from past experiences to gain wisdom. In fact, that is the most effective, powerful, and possibly the only way to gain true wisdom. You can hear words from me or another author or a coach or something, or anyone, and they'll give you insight, they'll give you possibility, they'll give you strategies, they'll give you tools, all extremely valuable things. They're not going to give you wisdom. Wisdom is going to come from your own experience. Learning it, like actually going through the pain of something and you extract a lot of insights and a lot of lessons and a lot of wisdom and a lot of growth so that your second iteration is different than your first and then your third one's different and your fourth one's different. And if you say, yeah, but I keep repeating the same thing again and again, that probably means you haven't got the lessons yet. I can talk more about that in a future video. So this one's not too long. But how do you trust in yourself again? You get clear on that vision of what you really want and you humble yourself and say, yeah, I'm going to do this as many times as needed and I'm going to learn the lessons and I'm going to trust that I'm gaining wisdom from each experience. And I am clear that what I did before helped me to see what didn't work. So I can shift. I can have a new approach the next time. So what is it that you want to move towards? If you gave yourself that gift of betting on yourself again, what would you do? Share down below in the comments and look forward to reading those until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.