Dr. Aziz (speaker) argues that increasing confidence is as simple as recognizing and accumulating small personal wins. He defines a win broadly (progress toward meaningful goals), explains why people dismiss wins, and proposes a 30-day experiment: write down one win per day to unlock energy and build confidence.
Do you want to be more confident? Well, obviously you're watching a channel called Get More Confidence, but obviously that's the case. However, would you like to learn a very specific, simple thing that you could do for just 30 seconds a day that would radically increase your confidence? Most likely answer to that one is yes. Here's what it is. If you want more confidence, win more. That's right, win more. Okay, end of video. So what do I mean by that? You know, does that mean you have to go become an awesome ping pong player or chess player or Magic the Gathering online player and win at those games? No, because I don't consistently win at any of those games unless I'm playing magic against my 6 year old son and then I'm the best. No, I'm talking about a different kind of winning. Because here's the thing, when you win, do you feel better? Do you feel more confident? Do you feel excited to keep learning, keep growing and try again and have a new experience of winning? Absolutely. Because winning feels good. So here's the thing. Most of us have a habit of only letting ourselves feel like we've won in very specific situations. Like those games that I mentioned. Like what has to happen in order for you to feel like you win, you've won. Most likely, it's a very sanctioned game, a very specific set of things. So here's what I'm fascinated. In fact, I'm so fascinated I'm actually working on a short book about this right now. And it's the idea of identifying our wins and then extracting the juice from those wins, AKA unlocking the energy from those wins. Because when we win, we feel energized. We feel like we want to get out there and try again. So what is a win? Let's expand it beyond some game that you have to beat somebody else in. Is a win making progress towards something that's meaningful for you? I would say so. That's like winning at life. So like, if you're trying to be more fit and you drink a healthy smoothie for breakfast, isn't that a win? If you are facing something challenging in work and you're like, I don't want to work on that project, bleh. And then you find it in yourself to go do it and you make some great progress on it, isn't that a win in your work life? You see where I'm going with this? So the question I have for you is what are some wins that you've experienced just in the last couple of days? That's a fascinating thing to look at because either A, you'll find them or B, you'll not find any because you're dismissing a bunch of stuff and you'll say nothing, I don't know, whatever, and you'll have all kinds of reasons. I talked about this a lot with clients recently. You know, maybe the win isn't good enough. Well, it's not amazing enough. Well, you know, I've been healthy for three or five years, so that's not a win anymore. When does this stop? Why does it stop being a win? Because you're consistent. Isn't that more of a win that you're consistent with it? So it's just fun to watch and study. Why do I do this? Why do I discount and dismiss my wins? One of the biggest reasons for it is we think that if we give ourselves credit and feel like we're winning that we're going to somehow become complacent, which is insanity. So then we spend all of our time feeling like we're not doing enough, and that's going to motivate us. It's a terrible source of fuel. I talk about this in my book on my own side. Transform self doubt into permanent self worth and confidence. So we have this dirty fuel that we're running on, which is like, I'm not enough, I suck. I'm not enough. I suck. Okay? I'm getting out there and motivated to go do more. And you're not motivated. If you really study it, you're not. You're more motivated when you feel like you're winning because it's inspiring, it's energizing. You feel like, I can do this. So my question for you is, what wins can you notice and give yourself credit for? And are you willing to do a little experiment where over the next 30 days you just write down one win per day? Just one. Takes you 10, 15 seconds. Just one. Maybe you might get inspired and write a couple more than that. Just one win per day. And notice, does that unlock more energy? Does that make you feel better? Does that make you want to try more? Does that make you want to grow? In which case then I'd say you're winning just from your cataloging of wins. Fantastic. So share down below, what are you finding most valuable? What are you going to do? Are you going to play this game? And what are the results? Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
