I AM UNSTOPPABLE

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. This is the show for you. If you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self doubt, social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence, first in myself and then in every single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. Yo. Welcome to today's episode of the show, and in fact, the last show of 2017. Whoa. We're entering into 2018 a new era, and I'm excited to be with you. I'm a big fan of New Year's. I think it's an awesome time to get clear, reflect on where you've been this year and really decide what you want for yourself for this coming year. Now, I know resolutions have a bad rap, and people say, well, everyone sets resolutions and they don't stick to them, so I'm not going to do that at all. Or I'm going to set a bunch of crazy resolutions and then not stick to them, then feel bad about myself. And let's just change all of that. In fact, let's not even think about it in terms of resolutions and goals. Let's think about it in terms of identity. Because, I mean, that at the end of the day, is the most powerful transformation you can make. Not in some behavior, not in some, you know, changing a thought pattern or changing the way that you feel about something. Those are all valuable. But the most powerful change you can make is an identity shift, an identity transformation. I talk about this a lot. In fact, coming up in the next month here in January, I'm going to be sharing three episodes where I talk about core identity transformations in my own life. There's three of them that I've had, and each one completely transformed the landscape of my life, my whole experience. Because when your identity shifts, everything shifts. Your behaviors, what you decide to do or don't do, what you decide to say or not say changes. How you move changes, how you look at people changes. How you think about yourself and about the world changes. And, of course, how you feel changes as well. So let's look at 2018 as an identity upgrade rather than a list of goals that you should hit or you're supposed to do or not, or else you suck or any of that stuff. Let's let all that go. So what is the identity that's going to empower you? What is the identity that's going to serve you for 2018? And maybe you already have one. Maybe you have no idea what the heck I'm talking about when I say an identity. An identity is basically a way that you see yourself. I am blank is a great, simple version of your identity. And of course, we can have multiple identities, right? I am a man is a piece of my identity. I am a Z's. I am married. I mean, these are all little things you can have. I have this job, I do this kind of work. Those are pieces of your identity. But we want to look at what is the one that's really going to serve you for the entire year coming up. It's going to help you in all situations, no matter what. So you might already have some, but there's one core, one that I want to share with you that has served me great, me in my life, and has actually gone on to serve a lot of other people as well. And that is, I am unstoppable. I am unstoppable. What would it be like in 2018 if you were unstoppable? What does that mean to you? In fact, just right now? Say that out loud to yourself. I am unstoppable. Good. Say it again like you mean it. Good. And then say it again with a big smile on your face. Good. Now say it again like, clench your fist, make it strong. Good. How does it feel to say that? Or if you're just listening to me and imagining saying it, how does it feel to imagine saying it? In fact, maybe I didn't encourage you to hit the back by 20 seconds button twice, go through that again and actually say it. I mean, man, this is one of the biggest differences. If you're wondering, you know, sometimes you hear about, I'll offer tickets to a live weekend with me, which we're gonna be having three of those in 2018. Oh, yes. And sometimes people are like, well, what's the difference between, you know, I listen to the podcast or I read your books? You know, isn't that the same thing? It's good enough, right? I get all the information there. It's like, well, no, I mean, we go way more in depth in the weekend on any information just because we have hours and hours and hours. But more importantly, you do stuff like that. So you're in a room full of people, and all of a sudden you're all saying out loud, I am Unstoppable. And you cannot understand with your mind the power that that has on your emotions. So, you know, I do the best I can here. So you got to play full out though. You got to step up and say, alright, I'm gonna say some wacky shit in response. So one more time, just for fun, say out the three words, I am unstoppable. Ready? 1, 2, 3, go. Awesome. So how do you feel as you say that? Does it feel good? Does it feel true? Does it feel not true? Does it feel meaningless? Whatever your experience is, that's fine. But that's the core identity that I suggest that we install for 2018 to serve you beyond anything else. Because you could say I'm attractive, I am successful, I am rich, I am loved. And these are all powerful affirmations, but things that could be part of our identity. But there's a specific reason why I'm picking I am unstoppable. And why I think that one weathers the storm. That one is one that I go to. No matter what is happening in my life, no matter whether things are going well or things are going poorly, I find I can keep going back to that one. So I want to share a few stories from my life about how I've used this from clients lives, how they've used this, and talk more about how to make you unstoppable in 2018. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back right after this. Are you ready to take charge of.

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Welcome back. So right now, actually, before I go into some stories, let me ask you this. What would your life look like in 2018 if you were unstoppable? Let's just take a moment to really imagine that. You can close your eyes if you're not driving and think about that. And if you're driving or walking around or something like, you know, keep your eyes open, but you can still imagine this. What would your life look like in 2018 if you were unstoppable? You couldn't be stopped. You would not stop. You kept going no matter what. Think about that in different areas of your life. What is it that you really want? If you were determined, if you Were relentless. If you did not stop, what would you do? What would you create? Who would you go after? What person smiling as I say, that sounds exciting. What job would you go after? Would you create your own business? What would you do? If you were unstoppable? Would you just reach out to some people and create those friendships that you've been wanting your whole life or for years? What would you do? Getting clarity on that, just letting that unfold before your eyes is extremely valuable because this, whatever you're seeing or getting some sense of is the real unfettered version of you. Uninhibited, unheld, back you at living you life, moving through you as it is meant to without us trying to block it. You know, I really believe that life is like a river. And we're in it. We're in the current, it's flowing, it's already taking us places, it's guiding us to where we need to go and where to be. And we basically spend a lot of our energy thrashing around and trying to swim the other direction. And oh my God, I'm drowning. And we're not just letting it flow through us. And when we really adopt the identity of I am unstoppable, you start to let life flow through you. So why do I like this identity of I am unstoppable? I like it so much that right now on my wrist I have a little band that says Unstoppable. It's one of the bonus swag items that people get when they join the Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind program. So I only have one group program, the Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. And. And I've been cultivating that for about three years now. And it's incredible the results that people get. The life transformation that people have when they're in that program and the name of it is Unstoppable. And I have these wristbands that say Unstoppable. We give them water bottles, water bottles that say unstoppable on them. Actually, they say I am relentless, determined, bold. What are the other ones? We have a number of identity statements on it. And then I am unstoppable on the water bottle. And I drink out of those myself too. So why am I hammering that home all over the place for them and for myself? Why did I pick that? You know, why not unlimited confidence or extreme confidence or whatever. There's a million things, we can name it. But why did I choose that? Because unstoppable truly is the most powerful force that you have at your disposal. Because here's the thing. Building confidence, creating the life that you want in 2018 and beyond is. Is gonna require you to take action. You know that by now, right? I mean, if you're listening to this, unless this is your first episode listening to me, if so, welcome. I like to talk a lot about action, and that's what's gonna set us free. So, you know, you gotta take action. You gotta do things that you've never done before. You gotta take risks, you gotta put yourself out there. You gotta face your fear. I'm not saying new things to you, right? These are things you've heard me say many times before. To overcome shyness, overcome social anxiety, and create the life that you want, you also have to get on your own side and treat yourself with love and compassion. That's another big piece of the puzzle. But all of that stuff is uncomfortable. We kind of have to marshal our inner resources. Get power, get energy, get willingness or shit. Just get desperate enough like I was, and you'll start taking some action. And regardless, though, when you take an action, when you take a risk, does it work out in your favor? Always. Yes or no? No. Right? Not always often, Right. You don't know when you're taking a risk. Maybe they're. Maybe that when you walk over to that person to start a conversation, maybe they want to talk to you, maybe not. You know, you go for that job interview, maybe they're going to hire you. Maybe not anything. You join into a group of people to chat with them, maybe it's going to be a flowing, easy, fun conversation that they want to connect with you, and maybe they're going to be kind of cliquish and closed off. You just don't know on any of these instances. And yet to create the life that you want, we have to just keep going out there and taking these risks. And so identity statements like I'm attractive or everybody wants to talk to me, those are empowering, and I do encourage those as well. But the issue is, well, what if people don't want to talk to you? What if she says no? What if he dumps you? What if you get laid off? What if. What if life happens and you get kicked in the teeth or the stomach and you're like, fuck, this is hard, this hurts. What if you wake up and you're feeling so anxious you can barely get your shit together to go to work, just to hold your life together and so that you're supposed to, like, also go out and meet and date and ha, ha ha, look like you're having a good time. Like, sometimes it's hard. And that's where I am unstoppable is like this rope that, that you can hold onto it is grit. Cause it's not saying I'm the greatest. It's not saying that I always win. It's not saying everything goes in my favor. It's not saying that I'm better than anybody. It's saying I am unstoppable. I will not stop. And I've set this identity, this determination, vision for myself many times in my life, and I've used it many times in my life. Because as you're growing, as you're changing, doubt and despair will arise. There'll be a day when you get rejected or something doesn't go your way. And then you'll feel or believe in some story in your head like, I'm never going to get this. And then you'll feel despair or discouragement or frustration or hopelessness or fear. This is impossible. I can't do this. We all have that. We all experience that. In fact, I'll be talking a lot about this, too. In the first quarter here of 2018. I'm going to be sharing some stories from my own life around one area of facing fear, overcoming it, and creating confidence. That is totally newer for me than around, say, social confidence, public speaking, disability dating and relationships, even career and leadership. All that stuff we're going to talk a ton about in 2018. But there's one area for me personally which was around physical health. And I had chronic pain off and on since the age of 15, and some really messed up identities in my head about how I was broken and permanently wrong. And I had doctor's diagnoses to prove it and medications. They told me I needed to be on for my entire life, all on and on. I mean, it's a pretty fascinating story and I look forward to sharing more with you. But somewhere in there. When was this? Maybe about two years ago, I'd really start. I mean, I'd done so much work on approaching the chronic pain from a new angle, a mind, body angle, which will blow your mind when you hear about it. How much pain can be created not structurally, but through emotions, through patterns of thought and fear and stress and worry. And that's what I was doing to myself. And I never knew it. And many doctors that I saw didn't know that at all. They said, yeah, you have a problem with this, you have a problem with your back, you have a problem with this. You have an autoimmune condition, and so on and so on. But I'll share a lot more about that story coming up in a couple weeks. But one core element that relates to Unstoppable is I had this turning point where I was like, I will run again. I will lift weights again. I will play the guitar again. I will do all these things that I've always wanted for myself. You know, I was envisioning what I really want, just like you do, just like you're doing right now for 2018. What do you really want? What do you think? Keep thinking about that. What do I really want? I love when it gets closer. Usually I do this around in October almost. It's just my mind starts thinking of it as, like, okay, it's fall. It's the end of the year coming soon. What do I want? What do I want? What do I want for 2018? I keep asking myself that question. I create lists. I make them more relaxed than goals. Like, I will achieve blank by, you know, March 31, 2018, or else. I don't like that level of or elseness. That level of stress in my brain doesn't do well for me. But if I just say, I want. I want this. Yeah, I want that, it inspires me. Then I'm energized to take action. In any case, I said, I want to be able to do all these activities again. And of course, my mind is like, well, yeah, but you can't, right? You know, and even if you could, even if you were able to do it a little bit, you know, sure enough pain would come back and you'd have to let it all go. And I. What I do, what I often do, is I kind of squeeze the little wristband I have on. It says unstoppable. And I say, I am unstoppable. I said, okay, I am gonna do these things. And if I'm. Let's say I'm running and all of a sudden pain strikes again, I'm not able to run. If I can't run, I'll walk. And if I can't walk because there's too much pain, I've had lots of times like that where I can't even walk. Cause I have that much pain, then I will sit down on a chair and I will journal. Because what I found with the mind body stuff is I have to go inward and find out what's happening that's creating this pain. So I'll do the inner work which is leading me to be able to run. And if I can't fucking Sit, which I've had before. Then I will lay down in bed and I will reflect and I will feel and I will meditate. And I'll know that that's on the same pathway because I am unstoppable. And then when the pain subsides and I've worked through whatever I need to work through, then I'll sit. And when I work through that, then I'll walk. And when I work through that, then I'll run. And when I work through that, then I'll fucking sprint. I am unstoppable. That is what this identity means. It means every step of the way, we recalibrate. And if we have a setback and if we get hurt and if we feel like we can't, then we pull back, we marshal our resources and we do the thing that we can. We scale back and do what you can. Scale back and do what you can. So it's still always action, always engaging in life and surrendering to the pro. Yes. Okay, I'm not there right now, you know. Yes. I'm not at the place where I can just walk up and charm a woman and have her want to date me or I'm not. He didn't propose to me and I don't have a fiance or whatever. There's that moment of like, no, I wanted it to go this way. That's when we have to slow down, recalibrate and say, okay, what is it? How is it? Oh, man, I'm really scared to approach someone right now. Okay, all right, let's calibrate to that. Not judge that. Make it terrible, make it despairing. It's just, that's how it is. And I am unstoppable. So what's the very next step that I can take that I'm going to do? And you too, my friend, are unstoppable. Now we're going to take one more quick break and when we get back, I'm going to share one more key distinction about being unstoppable that you can use in your own life.

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Welcome back. So what would the unstoppable version of you do in 2018? I know I've already asked it before, but think about it again. What comes to your mind now? What happens if you say out loud with me right now, on the count of three, I am unstoppable. Ready? Say it with force, conviction, power, energy. One, two, three. I am unstoppable. Good. How does that feel? Try this one. It's gonna be a series of three. It's gonna go like this. I'm gonna say it to you and then we'll say it together. Ready? I am relentless. I am determined. I am unstoppable. I am relentless. I am determined. I am unstoppable. Wanna say those with me on the count of three? Okay, here we go. And say them with force, conviction, power and energy. Yes. It's unusual. And for some of you, it's not unusual. You're like, hell yeah. And if it is, just do it. Take a risk, take an action. Trust that. This is the kind of stuff, the reason that people don't radically transform their identity and have an extraordinary life is not cause they're not capable. It's not cause it's not possible. It's because they're unwilling to do unusual stuff. They're unwilling to do whatever it takes. And if you're willing to do whatever it takes, you can transform so much faster than you think. So on the count of three with me, we're gonna say, I am relentless. I am determined. I am unstoppable. Ready? 1, 2, 3. I am relentless. I am determined. I am unstoppable. You know, and that's something that I might say to myself driving somewhere in my car like 50 times, getting more and more charged as I do it. That's the kind of thing that you have no idea what effect that has on your subconscious and on your energy when you get to wherever you're going, whether it's a meeting, meeting up with a friend, a date, you are fired up at that point. So here's one more thing I want to share about being unstoppable before we complete for today. Before we complete for 2017. Ooh. And here's what it is. This identity is a place to come from. It's not a place to get to. It's not like, one day I'll be unstoppable. One day I'll be this. No, it's right now. So we're talking a lot about 2018, but it's not, oh, by the end of 2018, I'm going to get to this thing of being unstoppable. No, it's right now. It's a place you're coming from, starting right now, this very second, as you're listening to me moving forward into 2018. It's a place you come from day in and day out. I am unstoppable. I am unstoppable. And I find it the most easy to attach to identity because it doesn't require you to get somewhere or be somewhere. It doesn't require you to have any sort of certain external outcome that tells you that it's true. You just know it in your heart. And if you really, really want to hammer this home and make this so true to your core and that you never doubt it, that it always is there to serve you, you can always call upon it. There's only one thing you got to do to make that happen. Time for action. Action. Action. That's right. It's action. It's always action, isn't it? Right? Because if you say to yourself, I'm unstoppable, and then you do nothing, and then you, like, don't face any fear, you don't take any risk, you don't do anything. You just flick on Netflix and watch for nine hours. I mean, maybe you're unstoppable at watching shows on Netflix, but that's usually not the kind of unstoppable that's gonna serve you in your life and help you feel better about yourself. So you must take action to reinforce that identity. And again, as I was talking about earlier in the episode, the actions are small. Sometimes you scale it back to whatever you need to, and you don't judge that any movement, any action is good. It's progress. So here is the action that I suggest for you to take at the end here of this episode, at the end of 2017, sit down and get into a state where you're Naturally that way. Feeling energized, Feeling good about your future. Maybe go for a long walk or a run or whatever activity you like to do and repeat to yourself a hundred times, I am unstoppable. I am relentless. I am determined. I am unstoppable. I am unstoppable. Just again and again and again, get into a charged state and then say, what do I really want for myself in 2018? I mean, I've asked you several times right now, but just give yourself some time and space to really think about it, really envision it. What do I want? And don't be guided by what you should want. Your head says there's certain metrics. Well, to progress in my career on the trajectory that I've set forth for myself, I must achieve the title of, you know, Junior Master vice principal by 2018. Summer. You know, like whatever career progression you got or thing you're supposed to hit or an income goal you're supposed to hit or whatever, let that all go. Trying to smash life into a template that you think that it's supposed to go by is one of the most suffering, creating things I've seen in myself and others. Because then you're just, you're always suffering. It's not quite there yet. And you need to make it this way. And it's all fucking arbitrary. It's all made up in your head. So here's what I suggest. Instead. Tune into your heart. Notice where you feel energized. Like, if you want that, like, ooh, ooh. That sounds good to me. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't even have to know why. Like, just earlier I was doing this and I was like, I want to grow the unstoppable Mastermind program from 20 to 30 members in 2018. And just. I don't even know why. It just something about that. I just felt energy in my heart. I felt power. I felt drive to make it happen. I felt good. I felt good about helping more people and really transforming. Helping. I'm not transforming their lives, they're transforming their lives, but creating an environment that helps them make these radical shifts and save marriages and change relationships and upgrade their careers and just all this exciting stuff that's happening. And I'm like, I want that for more people. We can create that. We have the structure, we have the systems in place and it's gonna be very exciting. So I thought of that. I was like, that sounds really good to me. All kinds of other stuff, like work related. I wanna take certain trips with my family. One trip with Certain friends. So it's whatever makes your heart sing. Every single thing on that list is just. And I want just where there's energy. And you know what? I'm so relaxed about a lot of those things. Some of those, like, none of those have to happen in 2018. I would love for them to happen in 2018, but if they happen in 2019, that's fine, too. So it's just, I want. I want. And it's not like a. I need this kind of a grasping energy. Like, I'm not gonna be okay unless this happens. Just get into a state where you're like, what makes my heart sing? What do I really want? And then ride it out. It should be fun. It's not fun. You're not doing it right. Go out for another walk or another run, say you're unstoppable 500 more times, then come back and do it again and just let yourself. It's like making a wish list. It's like a Christmas list, you know, I want this, I want that. So that's your action step for today. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode. For however long you've been listening to this show, I don't know how long we've been going now, three years now, and ain't no stopping in sight. I love being able to share with you. I love the feedback and comments I get. I love to know that it's impacting and helping people transform their lives and. And so this is awesome. Thank you for another incredible year. And I look forward to seeing you in 2018 when we are all. What? That's right. Unstoppable. Until then, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the.

Shy guy with Dr. Azeez.

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