I Want Candy!

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. This is the show for you. If you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self doubt, social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence first in myself second, and then in every single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. Hey, welcome to today's episode of the show. I'm excited to be with you. Dr. Z is here, and I'm excited because not only the topic that we're going to be covering, which is I want Candy, but also who we're talking about it with, which is a dear friend of mine and a coach on my team. So I'm excited for you to learn from him as I do. His name is Jonathan. Welcome, Jonathan.

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

And he is actually, you know, often I've done podcasts where I interview guests or have Amber, another coach, on my team, and they're all remote. Jonathan actually happens to be here in studio with me, and we're about to 2ft from each other. I'd say face to face.

I have to say it's a dream come true for me.

I could just reach forward and kiss you if I wanted, if there wasn't metal in between us.

I've been listening to these podcasts since 2015, and it's like, how does he do it? And now I'm in it. It's kind of like, oh, man, I'm a special guest invited. Flew in from New York just to do this.

And you see, just for this, we're gonna batch record 800 and then send you home. And you're wondering how I. How I did it. I stare in that wall corner and then I talk mostly to myself. But it's recorded. And originally, before I had this swanky wall corner. It was. It was actually in a closet underneath stairs in the back of a garage. How hot was. Was cool? Oh, it was dark. It was protected good. And we had moving blankets on the wall.

It was.

It was a very janky setup. But you didn't know that sounded like.

I didn't know that I was. I didn't care about the quality. More of the, like, what is he talking about? The content. The content.

I need the Secrets, I need it. So we're gonna be talking about today is an idea that you had. We were jamming out about this a lot recently, which is like, what's the relationship between sugar and other things and anxiety? I think it's a super important topic and something that people might not think about when they think about confidence. They think about, I gotta get better at talking to people. I need to know what to say. I need to be less anxious, I need to be more confident. And we kind of focus on top level behavior, maybe some of our thinking, but we don't really go from the ground up and say, one, how am I fueling my body with food? And how does that relate to confidence? Or two, how do I use substances like sugar and other things to deal with anxiety or other feelings? And then, of course, we use those substances to deal with the feelings and then we create more of those feelings. And so the goal of this episode is to illuminate that and have you, as you listen to this, think about, what do I do? What's my relationship with some of these substances, how does it affect me? And anxiety? And then ultimately, maybe you want to make some shifts of that and ultimately deal with things that are more directly and then build more confidence.

You know what's fascinating is that as you were talking about the cycle of like, oh, I'm feeling these feelings, I need to eat something. I've also been making massive action and it's almost like a reward that I give myself too. Like, I just went out and did 10 approaches. I'm gonna buy myself a candy or I'm going to do this. And so it's almost like, what, what comes first, the anxiety of doing something or like the reward of I just did something, I deserve a treat.

Yeah, well, there's so much there. And it's like, well, yes, reward. I mean, that's from a young age. I was just recently saw inside this ice cream shop. I was there because this was during the Mastermind retreat. We went out to lunch or dinner and got everyone Thai food. And then afterwards, one of the guys, like, I'm gonna get ice cream. And he like, ran to the ice cream shop. And so we were in there kind of waiting for him to get his donut, which he ate in literally three seconds. And I was in there and there's this guy holding his toddler son. And. And I tend to notice toddlers and interesting shift in my life.

I wonder why.

Well, it's funny, I remember I had this moment one time I was biking and it Exemplified where I was at in life. I was biking home from somewhere and there's this beautiful woman walking on one side of the street. On the other side of the street was this mom with her two little toddler children. And I glanced at the woman and then was more interested in watching the little kids. I was like, oh, my God, what is. Oh, no. Is my testosterone, though. But it was like, that's just. I'm more fascinated by that these days. So I noticed those little kids. And there's this guy with his little son who was probably younger than Armand. He was probably like two, a little older than two. And they're getting an ice cream. The kid's eyes were like as big as dinner plates. And his dad's handing him this ice cream. He's like. So it's like we are rewarded with sugar free from a very young age, but it's also how we soothe ourselves.

Yeah.

Right. So you go out and do all these approaches and it's like, I wanna. I wanna get. I wanna get overcome something. And I'm also uncomfortable as I do it. And then afterwards, it's a way of like trying to ground and settle yourself.

Yeah.

After doing something uncomfortable. Mm.

I was just thinking about when we were there, that our. Your client's eyes match the same magnitude of that kid. And then we had another friend who was taking his time with the ice cream and just like having like a savory moment.

Yeah.

And he wasn't anxious at all about things.

Right.

So I do feel like you can reward yourself with things. I'm simply noticing in myself that if I have a project or a deadline, feel anxious, I'll use food or candy or sweets as a. As a way to coax that pain.

Yeah.

Or that feeling. But then I feel like I don't have enough energy to like, fulfill the deadline or like the project that I want to make.

Oh, that's really interesting. So would you say, like, when you're feeling stressed or anxious and you eat the candy, does it temporarily remove that anxiety?

The more. I think initially it did, but the more I've started focusing on this, I've noticed my time with candy. So I'll give you an example. I had to do a project and I gave a five day time commitment. And each day I was feeling like, oh, man, I don't know if I can write all this down. I'm gonna eat some ice cream. So I'd eat ice cream and then I would just tell myself, I'm gonna have like half a pint, like 10 servings or 10 scoops. I mean, and then it's a little Ben and Jerry's thing.

Did you put it in a bowl.

Or did you eat it? No, it's just direct your toast. Yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna put it in a bowl. That's the waste of a dish.

So. Only way to control the portion.

That's true. That's true. Because then I started, I picked, like, Chunky Monkey or something that has, like, scoops of chunks of banana. But I like having my ice cream layered. So as soon as I take a dip, then it's uneven, and then it's like, I'm just gonna keep excavating until I hit the bottom of the pint, and then before you know it, I'm done. And I felt like a champ. I felt like a winner. Yeah, True winner there. But then I think I still kind of was, like, I still didn't do the assignment at the deck designated time that I gave myself.

Yeah.

So it's like, well, I'm on my own side. It's fine. But there is a greater thing that you're putting yourself on into these situations where you're like, I want to overcome this. I want. I don't know. I want to have a good presentation for my boss, but yet I'm preventing myself from doing it because I'm eating stuff to kind of, like, not make me feel, like, efficient in that process.

Right. Well, there's usually some story about why we need it.

Okay.

It can be totally unconscious, like, just, I want it now. Bleh. And we eat it. Or there's a story, like, I think for a common thing for candy and sugar and stuff is like, I need the energy. People think, oh, it gives me energy. And it might temporarily. Although when people eat processed sugar, there's actually a spike in their blood sugar, which might feel like energy rising. And then your body spits out a bunch of hormones and insulin and stuff to try to deal with all that, and it overshoots to deal with the onslaught, and it distributes and figures out what to do with all the excess sugar. And then there's extra insulin in there, and so you actually have a dip, and people feel the crash. Yeah, the crash.

Right.

And you're like, I feel worse. And then people usually eat more to try to level out.

So. Another one?

Yeah, another one. Oh, God.

Yeah.

That's like the. You know, just keep the meth binge going by by taking more. And the funny thing is, we're talking about candy here, but candy is almost in Quotes. It's like a metaphor because it could be literally, candy ice cream, which is different than candy. It's like sugar and fat. Probably salt, too. But I guess all candy is a lot of.

It's like that.

But then for me, when you were talking, I just kept on thinking of porn because I haven't eaten candy for years. It was something I cut out a long time ago. But when you're describing that, like, I'm working on something hard. This is uncomfortable. That's exactly what I would use. I mean, until this year, when I stopped using porn, that was the primary way I would use porn. Because when I was younger and single, it was just like, okay, I use porn. I could use porn anywhere I want, you know, my own room in this house. Or sometimes I lived alone. Right. I could just. Every room.

Pop it on. Yeah.

The bathroom.

Just play it while I'm working on something.

And then when I got together with Candace, it was like, okay, I'm not going to use porn around her. And then we had kids, and I was like, well, I'm not gonna use it in the house. There's, like, no place for me to do it.

Really. Yeah.

So it became at work, I was the only place that I would use it, and. And it would be related to usually something uncomfortable, like there'd be a project or a heart.

It's hard.

It was a hard task that required focus, probably, you know, something I had to overcome that was uncomfortable or scary or procrastination or whatever.

Yeah.

And I'm about to focus on it. I'm gonna, like, lean into it. It's like you're about to lift the weight with the deadlift, and you're like, it's gonna be hard. Let me just, like, just go. Let me just shoot with some pleasure.

Yeah.

And it's funny because whether it's porn or literal sugar or a cigarette or any of those things, all of them are actually working in the same pathway in your brain, which is the dopamine reward system, which is something that Jonathan and I both got booted up on recently by reading a book which I highly recommend, called Hacking of the American mind. Wasn't it, Dr. Lustig? Yes, something like that. Let's look up Hacking of the American Mind. You can get the audio version on audible, and it was powerful. What would you say the effect. Some of the things that you. How did that book affect you? Or what did you. What stood out to you as you read it? That was me banging the metal.

We're so passionate. Just waving my Arms around the book. The book opened up a lot of things that I felt that I've always felt I've had with like, certain addictions. Now I didn't, I didn't take on like alcohol or drug addictions that some of my family members had, like, in their time.

Because you're not a real man.

I'm not a real man. I'm not a real man. It's hard drugs. I don't, you know, I don't drink that much. I'm lightweight. But, you know, going with the. In graduate school, I would have an essay that I'd have to write and I'd be like so overwhelmed with the projects that I would use porn as an outlet. I can't look at porn when I'm at work. Those sites are blocked. No, but there's a different mentality there. However, I did feel like candy was the replacement of porn or sugar or some sort of ice cream, some sort of treatment to kind of like get me over there. And then I read the book or I listened to the book and it just. My sensors just opened up and it made me want to just do a whole detox of it all. So I. Which you've been doing, which has been like over a month now, of removing porn. Masturbation and sugar. Sugary, like, like candy sweets. I can't seem to let go of the coffee. However, I used to get like mochas or lattes, like stuff that has added flavors of sugar. And now for me it's just a coffee. Like just a simple drip coffee. And even so even you drink it black. Yeah. So this is the other thing too, with like some cinnamon powdered sugar on the top. But even so, like, I can't get through it all. So that's. That's too unpleasant. Yeah, that's being cut down to a minimum. So everything's kind of transitioning for me in the first two weeks. If a listener is thinking about taking some of these, what would you call them, like, substances or taking some of these behaviors out of their equation, there's definitely like anything. It's going to be really challenging in the first couple weeks.

Yeah.

Because you don't know how often you need it until you start thinking about it. And yeah, for me, I think the first two weeks, three weeks, I was just. I was like your two year old. I was just like, I can't. I'm upset, I'm mad, I'm irritable. And now it seems to happen. Usually when I have a project coming up, I can still feel the challenge. I can still feel the anxiety, but it's allowing me to really just fine tune what, what is the problem here? And it's actually just dread of the future. Like, oh man. I. Because I don't think about what it's going to be like when the project's done. I'm thinking about like, oh, are they not going to like this? For example, where I'm trying to create a film and I'm in a producer side now, where usually I just write the thing.

Right.

And I'm more creative.

Right.

But now I'm. I have to ask for things like asking for money. It's almost like that exercise, asking for $100 but on a grander scale. And I don't know how that's going to come through. I don't know what that's going to look like. All I can do is just ask. And that seems to give me the anxiety.

Yeah. Uncertainty, rejection, exposure, Potential rejections.

Yeah.

And whatever that means about you. And maybe there's probably other people involved too. Right. Letting others down.

Right. And the possibility that what you create is also going to be denied because it's something that I create. It's not good enough. Right.

Yeah.

So there's a lot of that negative feeling and it's like easy to just be like, I'm just gonna eat this pint of ice cream and not feel that.

Yeah. So here's the thing. When you were talking about, you know, it was really hard the first couple weeks especially. Imagine a lot of people listening, know exactly, I mean everyone listening knows exactly what you're talking about. And the follow up question is often, well, why put yourself through that? Oh my God, that sounds so uncomfortable. Why deny yourself? Is this about self punishment or is this like why would just enjoy. And the reason I would say the why that spoke really strongly to me is it strengthens you. Because what happens is when you don't have that as an outlet. Now there you are, you're working on the project and you feel the anxiety and there's no escape hatch. Then what do you do? Well, you work with the anxiety, you learn how to manage it better, you learn how to tolerate emotion better, feel more, and ultimately you have more power to finish, to face the thing. And I think when we use these escape behaviors, we diminish the power. We might not even finish the project, especially if the behavior is alcohol or something. I mean, tons of people don't perform in their work or academics because they were drunk or not, not doing whatever they wanted to do. But Even if it's something minor, that you get back to work afterwards, like the candy bar or the porn or something, it's not. As you're not fully clear and powerful, there is a cost associated to that.

Yeah.

And I noticed that I was working on my book this morning, and especially early. Maybe all the time as I write the book, but especially early on when I'm really just working with, like, okay, I have 75,000 things. I want to communicate what goes where. Like, the structure is not fully clear yet. It's a very, like, early stage process, like, trying to come together, and it's hard. And I noticed I was working on it for about an hour and a half, and I had this sense of, like, ugh, like, I think I just need to take a break. And I got up and I was like, should I work on something else? I jumped on that little trampoline for a minute. Then I was like, well, I think I'll just work on it some more. Yeah, I know. I know. And I did. I ended up, you know, doing another hour on it. But I know without a shadow of a doubt, if it had been a year ago, I would have opened up my computer, taken a break, quote, unquote, by using my form of candy, which was porn. And, you know, whatever. Ten minutes goes by, but then when I go back to work on it, like, something is lost. Mm. And I. It's hard to exactly put your finger on it and what it is until you are on the other side and not doing these things. And the best way I can describe it is power. I know that's a very vague concept.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I feel the same way. I have this feeling of I want to deliver something of quality in anything that I do. Especially when it comes to an artistic thing, though. And if I am waiting for the muse or the inspiration to come to me, it's. It's not going to, like, feel as. As good because I'm distracting myself with other. Other things, like ice cream or candy or even porn.

Yeah.

This morning I had a similar feeling where I was in a coffee shop writing, writing some notes as to what I need to do. And I felt overwhelmed. So I just kind of took, like, took a step back, and I just thought, like, what do I need to do right now in this moment? And I thought, I'm just gonna email my collaborator, and. And then it grew into something else, and then it's something else. I think we kind of, like, start mentally stacking what it is that we want to have happen, and then it's so much. And you're kind of like, fuck it, I don't want to do it.

Yeah, yeah.

And yeah, that is a recipe for.

Overwhelm is the everything stacked in a. And it's interesting if you actually think about this. And this is why a traditional to do lists are very often at first, they might seem relieving to get it all on paper, but generally can become overwhelming. And as a side note, I recommend people, if you want to create that longer to do list, you can do that. Ideally, start to categorize it and then. And get into different priorities, what you need to get done. But then actually just like, look at your day. How many hours do I have to work today? And then pick the two or three or four things you're gonna get off that list, put them on a separate list, and then put that big list out of your site. Because if you're looking at that stack of things, even if you know logically, oh, yeah, I'm gonna do that over the next week or two, emotionally, you're like, I need to get all these things done right now.

Give me the ice cream.

Maybe I will get that extra shot of natural flavors.

Yeah.

Speaking of that, so what I've found is that this stuff, like sometimes I was talking with a client recently, actually the one from the donut shop, who wanted the ice cream. We were having a conversation. He's like, he actually wants to look at his reliance on alcohol and sugar and other things I thought was really cool. Maybe that came about as a result of us mocking him. It's a good coaching, I guess, but. And we were talking about it and I realized, like, where I'm coming from is pretty fringe. And people look at what I'm doing and they're like, wow, what freak? In a way, you know, maybe they're impressed by it. Maybe they think I'm weird and they dislike it, you know, because I'm eating extremely clean and vegan and all these things. But what I realized and what I want to convey is like, it's not all or nothing. And it's actually a step by step process. And once you just make that one small shift, and as you're listening to this, you might be thinking, like, what's the one thing? So if you're like, oh my gosh, should I give up caffeine and sugar and ice cream, all three, and porn and alcohol and blood, you know, ultimately probably your life would be a lot better to be free, especially a processed food. And if you want to, we didn't even get into salt, fat, and sugar.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. But that processed food will you up and. But just start with, like, what's the one thing. What's the one thing that you know is like, a common escape strategy that you know is not optimal? You know, it has an effect that is not great when you're honest with yourself. You're like, maybe it's not terrible, but it's not great. Another one that I gave up, I guess it was the end of last year was. Was pot. And I mean, like, from the age of 16, probably never went more than a month in my life without smoking pot. And that month maybe was a very intentional white knuckling at month pretty much weekly for 20 years or no, whatever, 18 years. And then it reached a point where having little kids and the only time I would do it, I would never do it during the week. And it'll be like, on a weekend day, like, and I didn't want to do it around them, so it'd be on a date with Candice on, like a Sunday. And I noticed. Or if I did it Saturday night after I went to bed, I noticed I was cranky dad the next day. And so you start to focus on. And it was not. I wasn't terrible, but it was like, this is not optimal for my life. So instead of like, what's making my life fall apart? What if we raise our standard and say, what's the thing that's not optimal for me? And then see about reducing that. And I actually honestly recommend for anything that instead of trying to do it all at once, that's. That's too overwhelming and too much of a shock to your system in a way. Pick one, but then eliminate it entirely.

Yeah.

Because I think, like, the trying to do a little bit less of it is really, really hard.

Yeah. Yeah. So caffeine is my strongest one that I've been holding onto. And so what I. I've actually started is I would drink maybe like three cups a week. And then I'm like, oh, it's not that much. Let me.

Most people are drinking one a day.

One a day or more. I mean, in the beginning of the year, let me tell you, it was like two a day. But as I progressed into this, like, I'm gonna just try this. I usually would have three cups a week on average. But now if there's a project coming or if I'm doing rejection practice, I'll notice, like, oh, I had an. I had four this week or I had five.

Yeah.

But I Basically made a mini habit of it where it's like, okay, this, maybe this month I'm going to do three cups a week. Maybe next month I'll do two cups a week. And then the following month it's just one cup a week.

Nice. You went with the taper approach. Yeah, I go like, I can't help myself. I think it's my Scorpio nature. But once I get clear that I want to do something, and the biggest secret I have to get super clarity fast is input information that influences you. So Hacking the American Mind. Yeah, we mentioned another book called Salt Sugar Fat or Salt Sugar Fat, I think was the order by Michael Moss.

Yeah. And then for the porn one, that documentary Live Girls Wanted.

Girls Wanted. You check it out, it's on Netflix. Yeah, that one was good because, yeah, porn, man, that took me a long time and really focusing on the effects it had, especially my relationship with Candace. I think I have a whole episode about that. But that's a great one. Hot Girls Wanted. And then another book I'd highly recommend is Anything by Joel Fuhrman. Dr. Joe Fuhrman. F U H R M A N But he's awesome and just really highlights nutrition and processed foods. There's a lot of books about that. But any case, once you input, once I input the information, there's a part of me is like, I'm just done with this. And that's what helped me not transition into a vegan diet, was just really inputting information about my health and things I was affecting. And then same thing with so something that I know I want to reduce it or eliminate it. I use that information as the motivator because then what it does is, is it takes it out of. I should probably do that for other people, for my future self or whatever. And there's another part of us that's like, fuck that. Like, I want it now. And so like, in order to override that part, it needs to be this like deep intrinsic. I want this and I need to link it to ultimate pleasure.

Yeah.

Because it feels like pain at first. It's like I have to deal with the pain of whatever I'm avoiding the pain of craving and lack and wanting. So why do that? But if you link it, like, actually it's gonna hurt at first, but actually this is gonna be more pleasurable. And that's what Hacking of the American Mind did for me because he's like, you know, basically if you eliminate these pleasure seeking behaviors, you're gonna change your. The way your brain operates and you're gonna feel more fulfillment. And here's what's going on neurobiologically. And it's so convincing.

Yeah, yeah. The. With. When I read the Hacking of the American Mind, I did have that, like, launchpad of, like, here we go. I'm going to eliminate it all. It's happening, I think, with the pornography. It's been around, like, January, I would say, like, I'm radically shifting that because I watched the documentary and I was like, I'm fed up. I don't want it. I don't want this anymore. But then February, it kind of creeps back in. So it's. It was. There's certain. Certain behaviors that are just going to take a lot more time, because it probably depends on how long you've relied on that.

Mm.

For me, that's like, half of my life. I would watch some form of pornography.

Me too.

And then I've had caffeine and coffee ever since I was like, three, so.

So holy shit.

It's like, three. Yeah. Yeah. My nana would make. She would be like, you want some coffee? And she would, like, put. It was like, mainly milk, but she would still pour, like, coffee in it.

Yeah.

And, yeah, we were hardcore back at the. Back at the house, back at the ranch.

Yeah.

But, yeah, so those two were the ones that probably stayed with me the longest. I didn't really eat a lot of candy when I was a kid, so it was nice for me to take that, eliminate that. And I felt really proud of myself. Like, wow, this is easy.

Yeah.

But me, you know, I used. I would have that, but then I started having, like, stomach things with this. And I've eliminated processed food for, I'd probably say, a couple years now just because I watched, I think, like, Food Inc. Or. Yeah, what the hell.

So much good information.

Yeah.

And that's the thing is, like, when people are really seeking it, it's everywhere, especially in this day and age. It's for free on YouTube. It's virtually free on audible Netflix. Like, so it's not that it's not there. It's that we actually are actively not wanting to watch that we're not seeking it out. And if it is put offered to us, like someone recommends it, depending on where we are, that's threatening. I mean, the way addictions work is It's. We're doing it for a reason.

Yeah.

And if someone's like, hey, you know, read this book. Or, hey, watch this. It's gonna help you get rid of that thing. Like, no, I need that.

And if you want to visualize our bodies, we look sculpted and ripped from the lack of salt, sugar, and fat.

That's right. That's why we have shirts on right now that say, I'm better than you. I'm vegan and better than you.

So just to put a picture into.

The list, that's actually a great point to kind of bring this all together and bring this episode to a close. This is not about being better than other people, and it's not about perfection. It's not about, oh, my God, you. You got to get to zero caffeine ever, or no porn or. Or no meat or whatever that. Or no alcohol. It's not about that. In fact, making it such a black, white thing in your self worth, like I'm either superior to others or inferior, is really going to hold you back and. And reduce the very thing that we're going for, which is that confidence and that power, which doesn't have to be perfect. It's just when you reclaim your capacity to face an uncomfortable project or do what's uncomfortable or face rejection without needing any crutch, and you just, like, let it, like, slap you and you can stay standing or fucking fall down and get back up. Yeah, that is. That's what we're going after. And if anything, just as much as you can be on your own side and really be slow and patient with it. In fact, let's actually, before we get to the end, let's offer an action step. Time for action. Action. Action.

I love that song. Yeah. Something just playing. Time for action.

I think we've changed it since then.

Oh, man.

Yeah. Yeah. You said you've been listening to all the episodes. Busted back in 2015 when I needed it. Shit. Now it's just you rambling into the corner of your office.

That's right.

Give me my ice cream. Okay. Anyway, so let's talk about. I mean, the action step seems pretty obvious from this conversation, which is to find the thing, the one behavior activity that your go to escape strategy that you use when you're anxious, that you use to try to soothe yourself of anxiety or ground yourself after you've been anxious. And experiment with either eliminating entirely for three weeks or doing a stair step mini habit fashion. Like, let's say you do that every time you're doing it once a day or twice a day. Try to do it once a day for the next week or two. Or try to do it, you know, three times a week. Come up with something. That's a hard line, though. That's a Commitment that you're making to yourself, implement that for however long you made that commitment, a week or two or whatever, and then keep adjusting. And what I found. And I think. I mean, obviously, if you're continuing with these things is as you are, Jonathan, I think you are too, is it becomes you want to do it more. So, like, I'm seeking for the next thing to let go of, because the more things I let go of, the more power I get. So not too long ago, Candice and I. My wife Candice and I eliminated natural flavorings, which. That's a whole nother topic. That shit ain't natural, but it's called natural flavorings. Anyway, we eliminated those, which is in all processed foods, basically. And then the new. The newest one, which has just started today. This is great. You don't even know about this one. Salt. Added salt.

Added salt.

No added salt to the diet, which.

Means I gotta have that.

Which means no labonitza beans. No eating out for me. Because you can't eat out anywhere virtually.

Because they add salt.

Oh, yeah. Every restaurant's gonna add tons of salt.

So no more McDonald's fries.

No more. Exactly, man. Shit. No more McDonald's ice cream.

I guess you would know which one your challenge one is, is when you say to yourself, no, but I need this in my life. Like, I need this to survive.

Now. It's like, now for me, I'm, like, just scraping the edge and, like, what else is there? And it's like, well, it's not this intense. I need it. But it is sort of, maybe there is a quality. Like when I'm eating just yesterday and then today when I was eating unsalted food, there's a sense of, like, this is missing something. This needs something. Like, I can't enjoy this right now. And I'm like, my sensors are so tuned that when hear that voice or feel that feeling, I'm like, wait a minute, you know? And then, of course, what I did, as in true fashion, as I've been describing, is looked up more information about salt.

And it's.

I always would tell myself, this is how we. This is how we rationalize things. Like, when I smoke cigarettes, I would rationalize it by saying, I'm a social smoker. I never buy them myself. I always borrow them. You know, get them off of a friend or when I'm out. Never mind that if I was out drinking with the woman I was dating who was a smoker, I can smoke, like, seven cigarettes.

Those are the best girls anyway.

They're thin they don't eat. They just smoke tobacco.

You want a girl that smokes? That's the.

Your second action step is to find a girl who smokes. And if you're a woman listening, you should start. Smoking makes you more attractive.

But.

So what was my point there? I had a point.

The. Well, you started doing it because you were just. You were saying, like, you needed it. And now you're. Socially, I'm a social. Oh, yeah, yeah.

We always find a way to rationalize why we need the thing. Right. Whether it's the cigarette or the candy or why we actually do need it. And, you know, researching. I had some of my stories were, well, I exercise a lot and I sweat a lot, so I need salt to balance my sodium potassium intake. And then just doing a little more research online, being like, oh, that's bullshit. Or with smoking, I'd say, well, I don't do it that often, and I eat healthy and stuff, so it's not really hurting me that much. And the same thing with salt. I was like, well, I don't eat like the standard American diet, so I'm not getting crazy amounts of salt. I can just put some salt on my food. It's not that much. And it's probably true. Like, my risk is way lower. But the more I started researching it, I was like, oh, actually, it does have an effect on my cardiovascular system. It does have an effect on my kidneys. So maybe it's not going to knock me over and create intense disease, but it's going to produce suboptimal health and performance.

Right.

And I want the best, which is.

What you want the best. I want the best.

I want optimal.

Yeah, it's what you want.

Yeah.

And I think that's what's good.

And that's why we're better than everybody.

That's right.

Because we want to put ourselves through.

Things because we want something greater. Right.

And if you're listening to this, you're kind of better than everybody, too. No, we're just playing here.

And.

But I deeply appreciate you listening to this and this conversation. I sure hope it influences you to choose healthier choices and ultimately remember that what you eat, escape behaviors, alcohol, all the stuff that we're talking about does directly, 100% relate to your confidence because it's about anxiety. It's about how to deal with feelings. It's about feeling good about you and. And your choices and all that stuff, which all comes together to feel more solid in yourself. So thanks for being with us today, and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are, to know on a deep level that you're awesome.

You're awesome.

Yeah, you're waiting to throw that one in. Alright, bye everybody. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the shy guy with Dr. Azeez. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkforthshyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com. It.