Dr. Aziz explains that feeling chronically "never enough" reflects a perfectionistic pattern of comparing yourself to an idealized, constantly receding horizon. He argues that striving and achievement won't resolve the feeling; instead the work is internal: locate the wounded, child-like part of yourself that feels empty and scared, and spend 5–10 minutes a day attending to that feeling with love, awareness, and curiosity. Over time this inward practice reduces the compulsive drive to do more.
Chapters
If you feel like you're never enough, no matter how much you do, then what's happening is you're chronically comparing yourself to some idealized image of where you're supposed to be. And no matter what you do, it's elusive. The horizon keeps receding and you just can't quite get there. And so you put more pressure on yourself to get further. This is a perfectionistic pattern that will never end. In other words, you're never going to get to some place where you're like, ah, I really fully feel complete now. So the solution is not out there in striving and achieving and becoming more so you can impress people. The solution is actually in here to find the part inside of you which is actually a young child part that feels wounded and empty and scared. And you got to find that inside of yourself. You physiologically can feel it. That emptiness feeling, that grasping feeling, that desire feeling. Go there with your attention, spend five or ten minutes a day there, just blanketing it in love and awareness and curiosity, and you'll find that need to go and be and do something more starts to recede and eventually stops.
