Imposter Syndrome Confidence Fix

Do you feel anxious in workplace meetings? Speaking up, sharing your ideas, leading something, giving a presentation, maybe even just doing your job and being seen doing it. These are all symptoms of what people call imposter syndrome. But really, you can just think of it as a form of anxiety that shows up at work. And in this video, you're going to discover exactly what's creating it and how to fix it fast. I'm Dr. Aziz. I'm the founder of the center for Social Confidence, and I've been helping people with confidence and overcoming social anxiety for over two decades now. And career is a huge area where this shows up. So you might have a lot of confidence in your technical ability, your knowledge of the topic, whether it's medicine or it or whatever you work in. But then there's something about sharing with others, speaking up in groups, kind of the social side of it, even though it's at work, that creates a ton of anxiety and fear. And this could be in the moment. You could be sitting in a meeting saying, oh, this is in your head, by the way. I don't know what I'm doing. People are gonna be upset with me. I. Look, I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. You can start to doubt yourself, doubt your abilities, and then have this feeling that other people are gonna see that, like you're. That's the whole idea of imposter syndrome. Like, that term just means people are gonna think you're an imposter or a fraud or a fake, like you don't really belong there. And I've heard this from people who. And this is the first key, by the way, on how to shift it. I've heard this from people who are highly skilled. I'm talking about peak levels of career success, education, PhDs, whatever levels of achievement you wanna look at, they're still feeling it. So that gives us a clue, right? And that may be a clue for you as well. So let's look into what's really causing this and how to shift it fast. So imposter syndrome, when you're feeling that anxiety, it really just comes down to two things, which is, one, you are forgetting who you are, where you come from, and ultimately what you're capable of. You have a sort of amnesia that takes over. This is really important because when that amnesia takes over, the anxiety kicks in. And it could kick in long before work. You could be stressing out the night before, the week before. When that kicks in, we get straight into the Weeds, you know, the anxiety says, oh, you don't know enough about this, or that's not gonna go well, blah, blah, blah. And we're like, oh, really? Okay. Oh, what should I do? Let me prepare. Let me over prepare. Let me come up with what I wanna say 75,000 times. And this is the most common approach. People treat the anxiety as if it's focusing on a real lack of knowledge or preparation and try to fix it that way. And so I talk to people who've prepared 75 hours and they're still anxious. What's going on there? Well, it's not coming from a lack of actual ability. It's coming from this AM this forgetting of who you are, what you've done, your track record, your experiences, your knowledge. I remember talking to a gentleman. He was 20 years into his career, worked in finance, feeling this, imposter syndrome. And I was like, well, how did you get to where you are? Did you, like, fake a test and put a fake diploma on your wall and trick your way there? And he started laughing. He's like, no. So, well, tell me about what you've done. And he started to list it. Well, I did this and I did that. I took that training, I achieved that. Oh, cool. What have been some of the wins and successes and breakthroughs and home runs in your career? What are some of the risks that you took that worked out? And we started having this 10, 15 minute conversation about it. I was like, so how you feeling about that upcoming presentation? Almost looking for the anxiety. I feel good. It's like, okay, hmm. Maybe you're just reconnecting to who you are, where you come from, what you've done. So what is that for you? What is the training, the experience, the education? Like, instead of going into the fear, remember, oh, this is an amnesia. I'm forgetting something. What do I need to remember who I am, where I've come from, and what I've done? This is the first powerful shift. The second source of the imposter syndrome, the anxiety, is trying to control things you can't control, specifically outcomes you can't exactly control. Right. You can take action. You can come up with decisions. You can say things and do things. You don't control the immediate outcomes. And we also don't control other people's perceptions. So a lot of the fear is, I'm gonna go to this meeting and it's not gonna go the way that I want. They're not gonna say yes. Okay, well, that's a legitimate possibility, and we can deal with the Potential pros and cons of either way it goes. But turning it inward, it's like, oh, I'm not enough. I'm, I'm not enough. Because the assumption there is, if I were enough, I could control the outcome and they'd say, yes, it would go my way. Another thing we want to control is other people's perceptions, right? So that they need to like me, they need to think I'm smart, they need to agree with me. What if they don't agree with me? And these are less about your actual career abilities and skills and competence and more about a self image, self confidence, self esteem thing. And that you're looking to other people to determine if you're enough, if you're okay and that I have a lot of videos on that. I mean, that's a dangerous road to tread, my friend. Because if you're looking for other people, it's the changing winds. Am I good today or bad today? Smart today or dumb today? Well, it depends on what Bob thinks. It depends upon what 500 different people think and you're lost. So we got to shift that. That's another sign of, oh, it's time to come back to me being the source of approval. Look, I'm not even here to get approval. I'm here to get a job done. I'm here to, obviously I'll work with people with respect and kindness and treat them well, but at the end of the day, I'm not. It's not a popularity cont. I'm not. Am I pretty today? Do you like me today? It's like, no, we're here to sell this thing or solve that problem or get this result for the company. And that's what you show up with that focus on. And so whenever working with someone on this, I say, let's help you remember who you are, right? That's the first thing. Second thing is letting go of the things you cannot control and then focusing what you can control, which is what you say, what you do, how you show up. And let's focus your energy and attention on what is the outcome of this meeting. What is the purpose here? And is the purpose to be liked? No. Okay then, great. What is the purpose? And that gets you out of your head, out of that self reflective house of mirrors, focus of anxiety, and into the result, into the team, into whatever is needed to produce what you want in your career and in your life. So share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable from this. I hope this serves you and becoming more free more confident at work and if you want to take things further, then check out my website draziz.com,-r-a z I z dot com. You can learn all about how to build your confidence, including professionally in your career. And if you're really excited to take things to the next level, you can check out my Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind, which is a 12 month deep dive coaching immersion program that can ratchet radically change everything in your career, your social life and beyond. Thanks for being with me until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.