3:47
Dr. Aziz argues that disliking people is normal and you don't have to force niceness. He shares how honoring your preferences and moving toward people you actually resonate with can increase your energy instead of draining it.
Dr. Aziz argues that disliking people is normal and you don't have to force niceness. He shares how honoring your preferences and moving toward people you actually resonate with can increase your energy instead of draining it.
It's okay to not like somebody. This is something that it took me many years to learn, and I hear this all the time. Just recently, we're talking about this in my Mastermind program, and someone was in a community situation, and there was someone that they interacted with semi regularly, and the person really liked them and seemed to want to be their friend. And whenever they were in this community, they kind of moved towards them and, hey, you want to sit next to me? Want to talk to me? This client was like, no, they didn't want to, but they felt so guilty. And he thought, oh, man, I'm gonna hurt this person's feelings. They're gonna feel so bad. I'm so bad. And he felt so guilty. Can you relate to this? I spent so many years in my cage of niceness where this was intense. I would leave a situation where I didn't like someone. I would have a judgmental thought or a feeling of aversion, like. And then I would just beat myself. I would criticize myself, I would judge myself. I'd say, why are you judging this person? You're so judgmental. You're so bad. You're so wrong. Hey, you're judging them for things that you do, too. You should be more loving. You should be more compassionate. You should be more forgiving. You should. You should. You should. Essentially, I should beat myself into being a more loving person, which doesn't make any sense. The whole thing is crazy. Just take a step back. Like, when you were a kid, did you like things and dislike things? Did you like certain people and wanted to be with them? And other people, you were like, I don't know about them. I just don't like them. That's no different. Now, flash forward 10, 20, 30, 50 years, it doesn't matter. You inside have preferences. You resonate with certain people. There are certain things that someone does that you might like. A way that they listen to, a way that they smile, the way that they talk, what they want to talk about, how they communicate with you, how they pay attention to you. Their whole just their energy, whether you resonate with them or not. And then there's other people that you just. You don't like it. You're not interested in them. Their energy doesn't work for you. They talk about things that are different than what you want to talk about. Their mindset versus growth versus fixed or positive versus negative. Whatever it is, you don't even have to know up here. You just got to feel inside here. So my suggestion for you, my invitation for you is first, give yourself 100% permission to like what you like and dislike what you dislike. And if you notice that you're judging yourself or criticizing yourself for it, instead of agreeing with that judgment and saying, yeah, I am really bad, instead start to see it as old, unhelpful, nice person conditioning. That's saying you shouldn't dislike anybody, but the truth is you're allowed to, so catch it and say, no, no, no, I'm not going to buy into that anymore. I give myself 100% permission to just trust in my own preferences, my own intuition, what I really like and don't like, and then start to act on that, start to move towards that. Move towards what you like, move away from what you don't like and don't discount or try to logic yourself out of it. If you don't want to be around someone, if you want to end a conversation with someone, do so. Do so as fast as possible. And I'm willing to bet this is a hypothesis that I want you to test out over the next week. I'm willing to bet that as you do this, your energy will start to increase radically. Because it takes a huge amount of energy to stay in interactions, stay in conversations, stay in relationships that we do not want. That part of us is screaming out and saying, no, I'm done. So it's time to start listening, to start honoring yourself, and to start giving yourself 100% permission to dislike someone and move away. So thanks for being with me today. Share in the comments below what your thoughts are about this subject. This one's interesting and I'd love to hear your ideas. And until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
