Let Go Of Needing Other’s Approval (Guided Process!)

You don't need anyone to like you. I know that might sound far fetched. It might feel very different. It might be like, no, no, I really do need that. Something bad's gonna happen if I don't have that or I'm gonna feel awful. And in truth, you don't need it. That's what I want to share in this video. So can you think of someone in your life where you. You really do feel like you need something. You need their approval, you need them to like you, you need them to hire you, you need them to date you, you need them to stay with you, you need them to approve of you in some way, shape or form. Maybe it's an in law parent, a friend, a colleague, a supervisor, a boss, a mentor, someone that you hope to meet one day, do business with. Or. Can you think of someone right now who is it that you like, hunger for them to like you might be like, Aziz, it's everybody. Okay. All right. Well, it's good to see that. And that can change. You're in the right place because that's a lot of suffering right there. That's a lot of needing everything from everybody all the time. At least that's the illusion of it. But you can shift that. You can see through that. But let's just start. If it feels like it's everybody, well, then pick somebody. You got somebody in mind? Okay. This video is much more powerful if you can actually focus on somebody. And it doesn't have to be super intense, like I need it so bad, but just it's enough that it's there and it might be intense. Okay. So I want you to think about that person. Just bring them to mind right now and then notice what that grasping feels like inside of you. That hunger graspy need something from them, energy. Notice what that feels like inside of you right now and notice where you feel that. For me, often when I feel that it's going to be right here, like in the. From like the bottom of my ribs up through my chest. Kind of feels like the whole area around my heart is kind of like squeezing up into it, down into it. It's kind of imploding. I feel like a physical level, like almost the muscles are tightening, but then there's also like, you know, feelings are sensations and there's a sense of physical but also energetic to it. So just notice what it feels like for you. And you might feel in a totally different place, but somewhere there'll be like a tightening or a constriction or a discomfort inside of you of needing something, maybe it's mixed with a fear, right? A fear of not getting it. So whatever you are experiencing as you think about that person and you're noticing that wanting something from them, just bring more attention to the wanting and that experience and what it is right now in this moment. And just breathe and just allow it and bring more attention to this sensation. And if it's uncomfortable, good, just lean into it. Because so often what happens is we want someone to like us, and then we. This feeling is so uncomfortable that we just, like, get into our heads and hustle and try to make it happen. What do I say to them? How should I respond to them? Or how do I got to be here? Oh, my gosh, I'm so nervous. What if they don't? And we're just very reactive. And right now what we're doing is we're slowing down. We're just thinking of that person and then we're noticing inside of ourselves. And the issue is not with them. The issue is with us. And it doesn't even really have much to do with them. It might seem like it's about them, but it probably predates them. You know, we're hungering for something from other people. Long before this person came into our lives. You say, no, but this person, I need love from this woman or this man or this parent, you know, this supervisor, this whatever. No, it predates them. And if it wasn't them, it would be someone else. So the issue is not out there. The issue is in here. It's the mechanism, it's the misperceiving that I need something from you in order to feel okay. Truth is, I can feel okay right now. Like, just imagine that if I needed you right now, you as you're watching this video, if I needed you to like me, for me to feel okay, could I put videos out into the world? It would be a very torturous experience. And there's a lot of people I talk to and people that I help in my group, programs who want to be able to put themselves out there and haven't for years because of that. Because of that. They need everyone to like them. And they can't control that. And they know that when they put something out there, some people aren't going to like it. So I help them step over that. And this is what we do. We say, imagine someone out there not liking your video. We gotta face that. We gotta be with that and notice that I need to control, like, right now. Can you feel it? Can you find the Part that's the most, like, tight and bound up. And just breathe into it and just give it your attention. Just give it space. And first start by empathizing. Yeah. Seems like we need this. Just let that be. Just really acknowledge it. It seems like I wouldn't survive without this person's approval. Seems like it would be too dangerous. It seems like it would be too painful. Whatever. It seems like. And when you do that and you really acknowledge it and you breathe, you can start to feel a softening. Ah. In your nervous system. It's like a part of you is seen and it's like, oh, thank you. Okay. As opposed to like, come on, stop. Don't feel that way. Shut up. That's part of the problem. That's the approval that you're really seeking, and you are the source of that approval. It's moving through you right now. And you can just give it. And the approval is given by just giving attention to the part that's craving and hungering and kneading and squeezing and grasping. And you just give a lot of space around it. Just like, all right, buddy, show me what you got. Let it be big. Let it expand, Let it move. Let it be uncomfortable. And just don't try to fight it. Just let it be. Surrender and let that feeling move around. It's just a feeling. It just needs your attention. And just experiment. What would it be like? Just 3%, 5%. Letting go of needing to control that other person and their perceptions is in any way. I want to be like, just to soften a little bit. Is it possible just to soften a little bit and be like, I don't. I release you. I don't need. Need you to like me. I don't need to control your thoughts and your feelings and your behaviors and your desires. Just for a little bit. Just letting go of needing to control anyone and how they see you and just breathe into that space and that ease. And you truly can let go. You truly don't need anything from anyone. All you need is available right now. It's in you. It's moving through you. All the love that you might want is available right now. Like, what is love? Love is an energy. Love is an experience. Love is a feeling. What unlocks it? Well, it's our own criteria. If so and so thinks this, then I can feel this. But the feeling, the physiological aspect, the energetic component, it's all there. Can you open? If you can fully open to this moment right now, you can feel all kinds of things. You could feel love. You could Feel peace. You could feel okay. You could feel enthusiastic or excited. Only thing is we're like, no, I can't feel any of that stuff until so and so thinks I'm great. Okay, you're setting that up and you can let that go. I can feel great and so and so can think all kinds of things about me. It's okay. And if it's not okay, you find that part that feels like it's not okay. And you be with it and you meet it with love and you give it space and you let it unwind. Just needs attention, maybe a lot of attention over a period of time. And that's okay. That's great. So this was a very experiential video. You can go back and watch this when you feel like you're really hooked and needing something or anxious. Just the more you do this, the more you will grow, the more you will practice, the more possible will be there for you. Also, we'll put a link down below. We don't typically talk about this much until people are more involved in my work, but I think this is really relevant for you if this really resonates with you. We have a program, it's a 12 week immersion group program called Total Social Freedom, which guides people to be free from that fear of what other people think of them and to be fully, boldly, authentically themselves around anyone. So if you're drawn to that, we'll put a link down in the description below where you can learn more about the program and apply. So you apply for it and talk to a coach on my team to make sure it's a good fit and to see if you qualify. So click down below if you're drawn to this. Because as I was, I wasn't planning on sharing about that program, but I think I just feel right now that if you're really drawn to this, you're like, oh, I need more of this and I want to be less nice and more me. And you read my book Not Nice. And you're like, I want to really like make these changes. And that 12 week program is powerful. It's got a lot of teaching, a lot of support, it's got live group monthly calls with me. So it's a really cool opportunity to accelerate this. So check in the description below to learn more about Total Social Freedom and apply and also share down below in the comments of this video here. What are you finding most valuable? What's standing out to you? What are you learning? And let's all share and learn and grow together. Fantastic. Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.