Liberation For All

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. This is the show for you. If you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self doubt, social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence, first in myself and then in every single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. Hey, welcome. Today's episode of the show. Today we're going to talk about liberation. Liberation. Because there's a lot happening right now. It's in the air. And so let's discuss it. Let's talk about this, because I think what can easily happen, especially for people who maybe are nice, which you and I both know what that's about, right? We can be a little more passive, a little more silent. What's going on? What does everyone else think? Okay, I'll hear other people's perspectives and opinions, but I don't want to share anything because I don't want to upset anybody. I don't want to rattle any cages. I don't want to ruffle any feathers. I don't want to challenge any relationships or make anyone dislike me. And so we tend to just keep it all inside. And you may be doing that, you may not be doing that. I don't know. But I thought it would be valuable to explore today with you what's happening in the world, what your perspectives are, and at least help you feel more empowered to express whatever it is you need to express or want to express in the world. And what's happening right now. Because, I mean, this show, we talk a lot about liberation, and it's often about personal liberation. How can you liberate yourself from that inner tyranny of your critic? Self doubt, self judgment, and speak up, Be more you, be more expressive, be more free, be more confident. And also we sometimes talk about against some sort of external oppressive force, like maybe someone's in an abusive relationship or there's a way that they're being mistreated at work or bullied. How do we speak up against that? And we talk about that as well. But what we rarely talk about is oppressive forces that are beyond your individual relationships or even your close community, like work and other places, but actually broader than that, the community you live in, the state that you live in the country that you live in and the structures that uphold those places. And that's what we're going to talk about today is liberation on a much broader front. And so I'm going to share some perspectives and ideas and thoughts and invite you to reflect on them and also mainly for you to reflect on your perspective. And here's the thing about our perspectives. I think sometimes we can be afraid to express them out of displeasing others or just a lack of control of what might happen if we do. But then we can also get really fixed in our perspectives and not let them update, upgrade or change, which is also very unfortunate. And I think that's something that we've seen, I mean, probably across the whole world, but especially in the United States, is people in the spotlight, people in political positions lock in a perspective and then entrench in that perspective. And no new data, no new information, no new anything can change that. And that's often unfortunate because our perspectives are formed based upon the data and the information and the level of consciousness that we're at when we form them. If you held the same perspectives that you developed when you were five years old, now your life probably won't function that well. Like Santa Claus isn't real. No, no, I refuse. I refuse to believe that. Right. So we have to upgrade our perspectives. And that's the beauty of what's happening right now in the world is because of large scale protests, because of millions of people speaking out and saying, hey, this isn't right, this isn't working. It forces people to look at their perspectives. And what I would invite you to do is to explore more and let's update our perspectives. So one thing that I think is worth looking at is one perspective that I don't think serves us is a perspective of if I don't see it, it's not happening. And this can really limit us everywhere, both on a personal level and on a communal level and the world stage, what's happening right now. So one personal or individual example of this is if I don't see it, it's not happening. That means people are very limited or blocked to any sort of medicine or healing modality that is not a chemical or injection or a pill or a physical like we're going to saw off your bone and put a new one on. And that radically limits people's ability to get treatments that can be much more truly liberating than symptom management. And that's something that I talk a lot about in my show and other previous episodes. In my history of chronic pain, it's like, whoa. Emotions can affect pain. Energy can affect pain. Forces that are unseen, things that we don't see can affect that. And when it comes to what's happening right now, some people say, well, hey, I don't see people. And I'm not looking at someone who's got different skin color, who's black, and I'm not yelling awful things at them. That's what racism is. So I don't see it. And if I don't see it, then it's not happening. And it's kind of a very quick leap that we make. If I don't see it, it's not happening. If I don't see it, it's not there. But is it possible that what you and I don't see is actually much greater than what we do see? Another way to say that is there's a vast majority of what's happening that we don't even know about and don't even see. So, first of all, I mean, we could. Let's zoom out to just the biological level. What physicists and astrophysicists and other folks who study space have determined this is their best theories and guesses at this point is that 95% of what's out there in the universe we cannot see.95. That means all the galaxies, which current estimates are 100 billion, 100 to 200 billion galaxies, but possibly way more. That's just what they are extrapolating from what they can see. So 200 billion galaxies, that's a lot of stuff. A lot of stars. Because each galaxy has hundreds of billions of stars. So you add those, you know, multiply those numbers, and they start just getting absurd beyond our brain's capacity. All of that is less than 5% of what's out there. And what's out there, well, they call 68% of a dark energy and the other 27% of it dark matter. And I would like to do more studying it. The little reading I've done on, I'm like, okay, dark energy magic. All right. God. Okay. I don't know. Who knows, right? The field, something, whatever, it's crazy. It's involved in the expansion, the forces of the quantum, right? There's who knows what. So when we look up, we see nothing of what's there now. Ooh, even further. What about the electromagnetic range, the spectrum? There's all these waves that we don't see, right? You don't see the waves coming from your cell phone, but there's waves emitting from that, what we see is the band of visible light, which is an extremely small fraction. So even of the matter and the things that are there, we see the tiniest little fraction, right? So it's. We physically see nothing. I mean, we see the tiniest fraction of what's there. That's on a. Just to open your mind to that. Just because you don't see something doesn't mean it's not there. Now, what about what's happening in the world around us? How could we possibly know the extent of people's experiences? Billions of humans, thousands of cities, hundreds of countries, all over the world, all happening simultaneous, like this world is. I mean, compared to the bigger picture, it's a speck. But compared to us, it's vast, it's teeming, it's pulsing, it is constantly in motion. And there's so much happening that we don't know of. And I think a way that we deal with that just vastness of everything is we simplify, we delete, we block stuff out. We say, no, I know how it is. I see what I see, and that's it. And. And then we lock up and we close down. And what I would invite you and all of us to do is to open up more and say, yeah, I don't know all that's happening. Let me get curious. Let me be open to explore. Let me find out. Let me listen. What is that person saying about their experience? You know, and in this case, what we hear a lot of is a lot of people that have been speaking for decades about what it's like to be black in America. And it's not like, oh, yeah, it's great, fine. You know, it's like consistently reports of, this is what it's like. This is why I'm afraid of the police. This is why I can't go here. This is what could happen. And then there's this. Well, I don't see it. So, nope, not happening. But that has reached a threshold now, right? Especially partly because of the. The level of video and surveillance that we live under, which in this case can be beneficial, can also go a whole different direction. But that's a different show with George Floyd's death was caught on film. Can't deny that. And then when there's all these protests happening and then police reaction to it, a lot of that's caught on people's cell phones. Another film. So stuff can't be hidden to the same degree. But again, don't even. Like, just because we saw George Floyd's death, Or little bits of what's happening in the protests from people's phones or media reports or whatever. Like, again, you're seeing a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of what's actually happening. There's no way. So you just want. Don't confuse. Like, reading media or observing things is like, I got the whole picture. So let's get really curious here about what's actually happening and actually listen and find out more. Say, wow, there's a lot more going on. And another reason we could make a pretty safe guess that there's a lot more going on and a lot more oppression going on than we might see is just look at this. Always struck me as strange when I was in school and they taught us about the Civil Rights movement. They talked about it. This is the Civil Rights movement. For those of you in the US it's part of the education system. And, you know, one of the central figures of that was Martin Luther King, but there are others. And it's like that happened, you know, from the late 40s to the 60s. So my parents were alive during that time. They were kids, but, you know, into teenagers. But, I mean. And we were taught about it in school. Like it was the same ancient history of, you know, the revolution or something. It's like this happened way back when. It was oppressive. It was this thing called segregation, which was bad. It was so bad, we don't do that anymore. We had this thing called the Civil Rights movement, and Martin Luther King was a brave man and, you know, peaceful protests and, you know, things got fixed. That was the narrative I was taught, was that if you grew up in the United States and you were in school, was that the narrative you were taught? That really was. It was like, things are better now and we don't do that. And then it created this strange sort of split in our psychology, our collective psychology, where it's like it created something called cognitive dissonance. So we learned that that stuff was bad and racism is bad and all people are equal and all people should be treated equal. And that's what we do now here in America. That's what we've done. And maybe it's coming from a good place. Maybe they're trying to indoctrinate the children into being more tolerant. And maybe it's working in the sense that maybe now that generation growing up and they're freaking not going to stand for it. So I'm not going to say it's good or bad or right or wrong, but I'm going to say that the Narrative was woefully incomplete. Now, maybe if I'd studied it more, I got more in depth. Suppose in a college course I took on it. But unless you actively sought it out. And there's some phenomenal books that have been written that are being purchased like crazy right now, including one called White Fragility, which I highly recommend. If you haven't read that one and you're curious about just learning more, that one really benefited me because I realized, oh, I have to study this stuff beyond the limited exposure I had. And I had more exposure in graduate school as well. But the dominant narrative is so strong. And then you also have a very strong cultural. No one wants to consciously identify as a racist. That's sort of a bad word. If someone's accused of that in the political arena, you know, they backpedal, they deny it. Obviously, being accused of that in the workplace is a horrible thing. Like, oh, my gosh, no. You know, there's people that want to be seen as discriminatory. So it's sort of this, like, bad thing to be seen as. And so now you're going to have this thing called cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is where when information comes to light that shows us that we might be conflicting with how we see ourselves, we feel bad, we feel uncomfortable, and then we either have to change ourselves or we have to deny the information. And so what happens is people generally choose to deny the information. No, I'm not racist. That stuff's not happening. That's not there. No, no, I'm not that. I'm not that. I'm not that. Don't accuse me of that. I don't want to feel bad about myself. And what it does, it leads to a shutdown of things. But if we just look at the history and how history evolves. Like, the civil rights movement was intense, intensely fought, and very overt. I mean, up through into the 60s, it was, like, legitimate. It was a legitimate stance in the public arena to say, I'm against giving equal rights. Black people and other people of color don't deserve that. Like, really clear stance that was allowed. They would express it. And then there was this movement in society against that, and it was fought and pushed back. And then it was, okay, well, fine, we'll end segregation, but you should still keep everything separate. And then they did in a lot of ways. In a lot of societies and a lot of cities and everything, it's like segregation was officially over, but no one was moving neighborhoods. And then progressively, slowly, slowly, slowly. And then you had some legislation, other things passed in the 60s, but that stuff doesn't go away. Why would that go away? Why would that, like multi century, multi generational perspectives of dislike and disdain and contempt and superiority and all those things that are woven in to racism and oppression disappear because some legislation was passed. And so that's where you get this strange gap. Because it's like, well, all the stuff was passed and then there's like this. And this is very common with generally, especially in American history. But I think any power structure creates history that's sort of like, first it's like, hey, that stuff's not happening. And then eventually, if it does break through and it does demonstrate that it's happened, they say, okay, this happens, but we fixed it now. All taken care of, it's all done now. We don't do that kind of stuff anymore. So for example, the sort of American expansion into the Americas and just obliterating large portions of native populations and other things, it's sort of like, yeah, again, we'll give you some history of that, but not a ton. And that kind of stuff was bad in the past and we don't do that anymore now. We're better now, we're more tolerant. And I think what we're seeing now is that that narrative, that sort of denial narrative is crumbling. There's enough people, there's a critical mass of people that say bullshit on that. And what's amazing to me about what's happening right now in the world is the vast, like the large, the numbers of it all. Because in the civil rights movement, there were big numbers and there were different people, people of all colors and white people and everyone involved in it. But now it's just like a whole nother level. I mean, you have like little communities and places that I see things about people that protesting where it's like, you know, stuff that I'd imagine those communities, like, you know, some rural place, the population is mostly white, you know, middle aged, you thought, oh, geez, I don't know that those people would be so incensed about this. But they are. And that's freaking amazing because it's a sign for greater liberation. It's a sign for less tolerance of denial and avoidance and a greater desire to actually see what is happening. Let's look at what is happening, let's examine what's happening. And for me, it's many ways inspiring because I think I developed a somewhat pessimistic view for power structures. And we'll see what changes occur on a legislative level and what significance they actually are versus token grants of like, oh yeah, we changed things. See, now you can't headlock someone to death anymore. Problem solved. Problem solved. Right? We'll see if there's more than that. And there does seem to be progressing more than that. That's exciting. But, but I think when I started reading a bunch of Noam Chomsky and other things in my 20s, I was kind of like, oh man, what we need to focus on is our individual and small community liberation. Because changing power structures in the government, it just goes so high and so deep. That seemed daunting to me. And so what's inspiring about now is kind of showing me something because I've seen protests and large scale protests in my life not do anything. There was big protests in around the second Iraq war in the United States. And that was just totally didn't influence anything about what might occur. There was the protests about the 99% movement. And I don't know, I didn't study the results in depth, but I was like, I don't think anything changed there. But this is really exciting and inspiring to me to see, like, oh, wow, things are already changing and there's just like this continual fervor. And what fascinates me is like the match that was George Floyd's death, what it was thrown upon, and how the kindling was so dry in the sense that everyone had been social distanced for months. They're cooped up in their houses, they got nothing to do. I mean, some people are, you know, working remotely and whatever, but it's just like, it's like this pressure tank. It's building many, many, many, many people, especially those who are, have fewer resources, lower income jobs, have lost their jobs. And they're just sort of like, what's gonna happen? And the government's like, well, government's gonna save you. We'll send you a check. You know, it's sort of just like it's this breeding ground for fear and tension and frustration and the sense of like, no, you know, I can't rely on the systems that are in place to support me. It's not working. It's breaking down in some way. And so then when this occurs, there's just so much more attention available. There's so much more of a hunger to get out. There's so much more, I want to get out of my house, I want to march. And whereas before people are like, ah, fuck that, I got to go to work, I don't care, I'm busy, I can't deal with that right now. So all eyeballs are on it. And then boom, the match was lit and the fires took. So is there a fire in you right now? Is there a fire burning inside of you? Is there some resistance to it inside? Like, I don't know about all this. When's it all going to blow over? Is there excitement? Is there pessimism? Is there optimism? Are you uncomfortable in some way, like, hey, I'm not racist? Or are you uncomfortable with like, I don't know if I agree with this idea of defund the police. I don't know what that means. That's too much. Or like, what are your perspectives? And I'm not here to say here's the one thing that's right and we should all be doing this. I don't know. I mean, there's a lot of complexity in this and there's a lot more research that's needed too, because different, obviously what we get on through the media is generally like two extreme poles. So you have your extreme right wing poll, which is like, you know, hey, nothing is happening, Nothing is wrong. Crazy people are looting. It's bad. Just the status quo is perfect. Shut up everybody. Right? That's sort of the far right media and then there's the far left media, which is kind of like, you know, oh my God, the police are just this horrible, oppressive force. And obviously everything is, you know, needs to change in those ways. And you know, what's interesting is for me, I can't rely on the facts and information that I presented in either media source. And some people do, they choose one side and they say, no, no, no, no. Whatever comes out of this media outlet, whatever comes out of Fox News, whatever comes out of cnn, whatever comes out of, you know, John Oliver's mouth, whatever comes out of whatever, I'm just gonna believe. But they sound smart. They seem like they check their facts, they seem like, whatever. And it's like, well, hold on a second, wait, why? Because everyone has a different perspective and a different agenda. So what? You know, one of the things is like, the police budget is way over funded right. In all these cities. And we should change the allocation of resources. Great, let's take a look at that. Have you looked up different cities and what the budgets are like, what are the police budgets? What are the budgets for other things? I started doing that recently. I was like, it's a little more complex than that. I don't get clear numbers like, oh, the police get 99% of the money and these other services get none I start looking at it in some different places and I'm like, you know, there's a lot of allocation of resources and so the solutions are probably more complex than defund the police, right? But that's a message that's being communicated saying, hey, something fricking has to change right now. And in general, the United States, the resources, the way that we've tended to invest and put our resources is towards, quote, defense, right, Is the most expensive, highly funded military in the world by an insane magnitude. I think something like for 2020, it's like $750 billion for the US defense budget. It's defense. It's defense. Gotta defend myself. You come at me, you coming at me? Alright, let's bring out the arsenal. Yeah, I've gotta defend myself. I'm gonna go to your country to defend myself from you. Ah, I know it doesn't make sense to you, but it does to me. So other countries like China is 177 billion. So they're number two, right? So it's just insane amounts. And then of course large amounts of funding to police and providing military gear and weapons to the police as well. So there is, when you look at it, you're like, that does seem like the angle that America goes, which is like, we know the solution for this one. We're gonna need bigger guns, bigger guns, more weaponry in all departments like the state, in all levels, whether it's internally facing with the police or externally facing with the defense and the military. So that is something that people have seen for decades and attempted to influence and change without any effect. And we will see what can happen in this regard and what can shift. Because that's one of the big calls of this movement right now, is to change the way that money is spent internally, especially around policing and prison systems and looking for actually healing and supporting. But I mean, then you get real deep into people's psychology about human nature and are people good or bad and what's needed and like a punishment mentality is so deep and so strong in America, that's like, you punish the bad. We got this sort of hard philosophy of like, you punish the bad. Guns are, you know, we gotta get our big military. We're gonna come in there hard and that's put forward by a lot of people. And that's definitely like sort of the party line of Trump and the presidency is like, you gotta come in hard. And there's a lot of people like, yeah, like, don't be soft, you know, so there's just, there's A lot of stuff in motion, a lot of complexity. And I am by no means an expert on this topic. There's so much more that I'm learning and that I do want to learn. That's what I would encourage all of us to do, is just keep learning, keep expanding our perspective. Remember the dark matter and the dark energy, and then also in society and the world, how little we might actually know. And so I think a great place to get information, the media might give you some snapshots of what's happening. And social media, that's going to be. You're going to get all kinds of everything. And I would say you don't have to stop all that stuff, but just be aware and then maybe ground some of that with reading a book by a chosen source that's well researched and not just a book by one of the pundits from the far left or the far right you see on tv, but actually someone who's been studying the topic for many years. And so that book that I mentioned before, White Fragility, is a great start, but there are others as well to really give a deeper sense of what might be happening in the history. Or read a book about the history of the civil rights movement. Or just when I say reading, I mean listen to on Audible, because who reads a book these days gotta listen to it on double speed. In any case, let's keep growing, let's keep learning. And one last thing, I'll say, in fact, actually, let's turn this into your action step for today. Time for action, action, action. Your action step for today is to talk about this with somebody. Maybe you already are, in which case that's great. I would say keep doing that. But maybe you're not. Maybe you're kind of like holding it back. You're just maybe observing what's happening. Or maybe you're not. Maybe you're not observing what's happening. Maybe you're not talking about any of it. Well, I would say start by like observing what's happening. If you've been unplugged or something, just plug back in, do a. Yep, some of those media sources that I said are going to be extremes, but at least going to give you some perspectives and then really reflect on, like, what do I think, what do I feel, what's happening inside of me? And then talk about it with someone. Explore. It's okay if you guys disagree. It's okay if you have different ideas. It's okay if you are not in that moment, just exactly, buddy, buddy. With that person. And like, oh, we see everything exactly the same. Maybe there's a moment of, like, you see it that way. Oh, I see it this way. But is it possible to have two different perspectives and not have that mean that you can't talk to that person anymore? That person now has to be your sworn enemy? Like, okay, you see it that. Well, I disagree. And you're still my brother, and you're still my friend, and you're still my colleague or whatever. Yeah, interesting you see it that way, huh? And then you can just get curious. This is what I love doing. When I talk with someone who's got an extreme viewpoint, I just get very curious and I ask them question after question after question. Oh, that's interesting. So you see, and I do a lot of reflection. So you see it as this, this and that. Oh, I'm curious. Where did you learn that part of it? Or did you always think that? Or where did you read something? Or did you hear that? Did you learn it from a family member? Like, where did you develop that perspective? And I'm truly curious. So that's a great way to explore with people. And here's the thing. Our conversations change us. Even as this has been happening, I've had a number of different conversations with people where as I talk with them and as I think about stuff and as I read and as I listen, I'm like, oh, wow, this new thing came into my mind. Or I'm expanding my perspective in that way. Or I didn't know that. Now I know that. Now I'm learning more. And so let it evolve. Let these conversations change you, develop you, and expand you. And what is it expanding us towards? Well, hopefully greater levels of capacity to hold multiple perspectives and not shut down and try to make the world totally simple so we don't feel uncomfortable, open to complexity, open to curiosity, and ultimately open to a desire, hopefully, for more liberation for you, for me, for for everyone of every skin color, every race, every location, any oppressive force, whether it's internal, external, in this country, in the United States, in other countries. Like, how can we become more aware and say, hey, oppression is the antithesis of liberation. And what we're here to do is liberate ourselves to become more free, more expressive, more alive. And what if it's not just oppression of humans? What if it's oppression of animals as well? What if we expand our capacity and our compassion to go beyond just me and mine? Right? The smallest level is like, me and mine. I gotta get liberation for me. I gotta have resources for me. And then it's like, okay, my family. I gotta get my family protected. And they can expand beyond that and say, hey, what about the people? What about my neighbors? What about the community? What about the people that I work with? What about my people that I employ? What about the larger world, the country that I'm in? And then what about you expand even further that? What about the ecosystem and the environment? What about the animals that have been just brutally oppressed for decades, probably more than 100 years now in insanely horrific factory farms? And how do we expand awareness to that, too? And every single time your awareness expands, it's uncomfortable as shit. It's like cognitive dissonance city. I've gone through this since my early 20s when I discovered what's happening with factory farms. And like, how do I change? How do I grow? How do I be evolved by all that stuff? So that's what we're here to do, is to liberate ourselves. And here's one thing that I'll end with is liberation is not individual. Liberation is communal. So let's liberate ourselves. Thank you for being with me today. And until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are, to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the shy guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkforthshyguy.com for free vlogs, ebooks, and training videos we related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com.