More Adventure, More Confidence, More Alive

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. This is the show for you. If you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self doubt, social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence, first in myself and then in every single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. Hey, welcome. Today's episode of the show. Today we're going to go on an adventure. Oh, yes. It's story time. So adventures are one of the best ways to build confidence because you'll see in this story, there's so many different requirements to go on an adventure, all of which, put outside of our comfort zone, have us face challenges that we maybe we never faced before and either emerge triumphant or get a setback, which we then learn from and grow to be able to take on more in the future. So I'm going to share this story and I'm also going to invite you to reflect as we go along in this little journey here about adventure in your life. Where do you experience adventure? Is that even a term that you use? Because honestly, for me, that's not a term I would use for much of my life. I don't think, even if I did things that someone else might call an adventure, I attributed adventures to, like, I don't know, someone who's going to go climb Mount Everest or something like, that's an adventure. It had to be some extreme thing. And I've really changed my thinking on that. And I believe that we all have a hunger for adventure. And adventure doesn't have to necessarily be extreme, although the technical definition of adventure is an unusual and exciting and typically hazardous experience or activity. So it's got to have a little bit of unknown, a little bit of danger in there, but it doesn't have to be like, life threatening. And so just over this summer, I started to look at a lot more things as adventures, and I and I'm going to invite you to do that as well. You could have adventures in your career, in your business, you could have adventures in your physical life. You could have adventures with your family. You could have adventure in relationship and dating, that's for sure. Definitely an adventure. Definitely hazardous there. And we can really start to expand this so we can enjoy the benefits of adventure. So for this particular adventure, I had a calling, I guess is the best way to describe it. I started seeing this guy about three months ago now. His name is Ian Chambers, and he practices this thing called network spinal care. He's a chiropractor. And they do something that's. They don't do any physical movement of you, though. There's no adjustment or manipulation in that sense of moving the spine around. It's all energy work, which is really fascinating. And so he'll touch you really lightly on a certain part of your spine and then tell you things. He's kind of like a Jedi, and he lives out in the woods, which makes it even more interesting. But Candice has been studying with this guy named Donny Epstein, who's the founder of this kind of thing. And I listened to a lot of Donny Epstein stuff, and I was like, this dude's pretty out there, and he's pretty powerful. So I'm like, hey, whatever it takes and whatever works. And if you've listened to any other previous episodes to hear about my journey with chronic pain, I share that since the age of 15, had chronic pain, particularly in my low back, hips, glutes down my legs, sharp pain, nerve pain, weakness, stiffness, difficulty walking, all that stuff, and made major progress. Realizing that that was something that I had power over, that it wasn't like I was the victim of a, quote, autoimmune condition, which is what I was diagnosed with, and I had to take a medication for the rest of my life that kind of worked. But actually, I could make my major transformations in that by changing my mind and emotions. And now the next level is working on the energetic level with it, and that's why I'm studying with ian. So about three years ago, I'm 37, almost 38 now. About two and a half, three years ago, I got off of this medication I took for almost 20 years and had this renaissance in my physical health. I was able to do things I'd never done before. I weightlifted consistently, ran a bunch of half marathons, ran the Portland Marathon, decided, I want to go crazy and go into ultra running, and then discovered I don't really want to do that. It's too painful. But I would have this reoccurring pattern of, like, I would feel awesome for a couple months, and then this pain would come back. And I knew it was temporary. I knew it wasn't permanent, but I didn't feel like I really had turned the corner on that. And so then I'd be Debilitated for like a week or something. And then I'd go back to exercising a lot. And over this last couple years I've discovered that I frickin love running, I love being outside, I love outdoors, I love sunrises. I just in a way that was kind of that door in my life was shut down for many years. So I kinda was like, no, I just like being inside and being on a computer. And now I'm like, I just wanna be outside. So I'm driving home from Ian and he lives out in the Gorge, which is just east of Portland. And I drive an hour each way to see him. And the appointment's only like 20, 25 minutes. And right now I'm going twice a week. And it's a chunk of money to invest. So that's just to show you that when I'm committed, I'm going to do something. And what am I committed to? Well, I'm committed to an extraordinary level of health. And so I want to experience consistent and ongoing capacity to have adventures and to explore not just for my own physical health, but to be able to take my kids places and be able to go backpacking with them when they're really young, where I can carry a bunch of weight and carry all their stuff and carry both our kids stuff and just be strong and then carry them on my back when we're not backpacking and just do all these things with them. And ultimately another draw for me to achieve the highest levels of physical health is part of my work here because we talk a lot about social anxiety and confidence in a social sense, in a dating relationship, speaking up at work, being less nice and more you. But I'm interested in confidence on all areas. And I think physical confidence and our belief in our bodies and not living in fear of pain, injury and reoccurring problems and all these things is a huge aspect of confidence that I am deeply fascinated in. So I say confidence for all in all areas. So my goal is the more that I learn, the more that I study, the more I can help liberate people with that as well. So I'm driving home from Ian and every time I got to cross this little bridge that goes over the Columbia River. So Oregon is right below Washington and there is a right south of Washington and there's a river, a big river in between called the Columbia. So you drive over a bridge to get to Washington, where Ian is, and I'm driving over this bridge and then I'm driving back into Oregon. And every time right there is Right up close with Mount Hood, this gigantic peak that's mostly snow covered. Even in the summer, a lot of it's snow covered. And it is just this gorgeous mountain. And I would always see it. Sometimes when I was driving around Portland, I'd be like, oh, Mount Hood is pretty. And then I realized I've lived in Portland for 11 years now. I've never even been there, Never even been to Mount Hood. And it just kind of struck me. And I was driving across this bridge, and then I said, there was this call, the call to adventure. And I said, not only am I going to go there, but I'm gonna. I bet there's a trail that goes around that mountain, and I'm gonna do that trail. It all came in an instant. I didn't even know that there was a trail. I'd never even heard of it. But I just. It all. I kind of knew that information somehow. And so that's the first part of adventure, right? Is there's a call. And again, remember, the context we created at the beginning of this episode is adventure can mean a lot of things. It doesn't just have to mean like, you're gonna go climb Mount Everest. Or for those of you who want an adventure movie, check out Meru Meru. Meru M E R U. It's this other peak in the Himalayas that's like, supposedly the hardest peak in the world to climb. And only three people in the history of world have ever done it. And this is the story of them doing it. It's a documentary. Freaking insanity. Amazing, gripping, beautiful, inspiring story of extremely driven, obsessed, brilliant, beautiful madmen. So. But adventure doesn't have to be that. Adventure is stepping into the unknown, pursuing love and connection when you've guarded your heart for a long time. That's adventure. You know, calling that person when you're like, oh, there's no way they're going to want to date me. But you call them anyway. Or you reach out and you ask about it anyway. That's adventure. So what adventure do you want to go on? What are you called to now? I don't think we generate adventure in our mind. I think universe, God, existence around us calls us to adventure all the time. And it's just a matter of whether we heed the call or not. I'm not saying you have to heed every call to adventure, but you got to heed some of them. Otherwise, you'd start to feel stagnant, bored, too comfortable, too stable, not fully alive. So what's the call for adventure for you? Maybe for some people, the call for adventure is to start that business. A lot of people I talk to one day I have a dream, I'm going to start a business. And I say, that's probably most people's dream, but most people are never going to do it. But there's that call to adventure. And some people will. And then let the games begin. So I have this call for adventure. I heed the call. I look up the trail. Sure enough, it is. It says Timberline Trail. Goes all around the base of Mount Hood. Kind of part way up actually, but. And on paper it's 38 miles. I'm like, okay, 38 miles, eh, very good. And so the longest distance I'd ever done at that point was a marathon. And so that was a little further. And marathon is mostly flat. This is 38 miles, like up and down around a mountain, which is very different. I had no idea how different it was, but I was like, yeah, I could do it. So to kinda test the waters as it were, I have this inspiration to do a personal challenge, see how far I can go in a day. And so I get up early one morning. I plan it, take a Friday, take off of work and say I'm gonna get up really early in the morning, start at like 4:30am and just go for as long as I can. And I have some food and water on my back and a package. And I ended up. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna walk and jog, right? Cause it's not just about. I'm not trying to run at any specific time. I'm just trying to stay at a certain pace. And so I did about 22 miles. This is just around the city of Portland. And I was like, I better get some hills in there. And there's no hills in Portland. So I go to the top of this thing called Mount Tabor, which is not really a mountain at all. And then I go over to this thing called Rocky Butte. It's the only things that are elevation around me. So I go do those things and then I come home and it's been about 22 miles. And. And so I make a smoothie, get some other things, pack up my bag again, and then head the other way towards Forest Park. And then I. So I walk and jog to Forest park, run in there, end up going about 30. After about 35 miles I stopped running. And I was just in walking mode then. And then I walked it out and finished about 8pm, 7 or 8pm at 50 miles. So I traversed 50 miles in a day like this. Epic achievement. And it felt amazing. It felt really cool. I mean, this is coming from a guy who was, like, told that I couldn't play soccer again, that I had to take a medication for my entire life, that if I didn't, my spine would fuse and I'd get something called glass spine or bamboo spine, where your spine is really brittle and the joints are all fused together and you can't move very well. I stopped playing all sports for a good chunk of my life. All kinds of chronic injuries, a deep perception. My body is weak. So that was a major breakthrough for me. Major achievement, very exciting. And then as it gets closer, I set the date. I'm gonna figure out when I'm gonna go on Mount Timberline. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna go on August 7th, you know, 2020. It's gonna be amazing. And this will be fun. There's a lodge up there. And so what we'll do is we'll. Which is incredible. They built this amazing lodge during the 1930s, I think in the Depression era. And at the same time, they built the trail around the mountain, too, which is freaking amazing. The trail is incredible. It's like, where you go on it is just absolutely extraordinary. And so, okay, my family will come up there, they'll stay there. I'll go do the trail on a day, and then we'll have the next day to hang out at the lodge. It'll be all amazing. So we book it, start to get ready for it, and then I start to repeat old patterns. And those old patterns are that my life circumstances will determine when I get pain or not. And patterns I run is like, if I have any sort of big thing coming up, I would sometimes get pain around it. So I was running this event, this online live event called Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough. This was in summer of 2020. For those of you who were there. It's awesome to be with you. Hope to see you again at a future event. We have the unlimited dating and relationship confidence event coming up very soon. So I hope to see you there. But historically, I would get some body pain before these events. And so that was the pattern, the old pattern repeating. And I have a lot more awareness now as to why that might occur, but there it is. Oh, my gosh, the pain is coming. And then I'm like, oh, my gosh, the pain is coming. And now I'm not gonna be able to train. And if I can't train, how am I gonna do this mountain? And I get more stressed about that. And I get more attached to that, and I start to freak out. And then I'm like, oh, man. You see, I can't set goals in my physical health because my body, it's out of my control. I can't do it. Feel frustrated, stuck, helpless, hopeless, irritated, angry. And there we go. So I do the online event. This is in July. And now I have, like, two weeks before I'm supposed to go up on the mountain and do this trail. And I'm like, I don't. I mean, you know, the pain is sort of still there. I'm not able to train as much as I need to. And then as it gets closer, it becomes clear I'm not gonna be able to do it. Like, I just don't want to get out there and have all this horrible body pain to start. Like, it's gonna be painful enough. I don't need to add that in. So we get out there and we just decide, you know what? Let's just go spend the day. Spend the two days on the mountain with our family and do the Timberline Lodge. So we're driving up there, and I'm just, like, pouty on the drive up. Like, can't do anything I want. So this is the other part of adventure. You got the call to adventure. You heed the call, and then you experience setback. And the setback might be before you start, it might be after you start. Hey, you might get an easy win or a quick success or something like that, you know? So I'm not saying it always happens, right? The setback or the challenge occurs right at the beginning. But it will come, and it will be something that feels like it's gonna derail the whole thing. You know, you're like, I'm gonna set up that business. And you have all these plans, and you do this thing, and there's something that gets in the way, or you can't quit, quit your current job at the time, or this person's the one that we're going to date. Oh, my gosh. On paper, they're amazing. And then they're not interested in you. And you're like, what the hell? I thought it was so clear. And so I believe that that initial setback is designed for one thing, which is to test us. Because the question is not whether you can or can't or not. The question is, are you unstoppable? And that's what I remind myself. I was driving up to the mountain. I was feeling kind of down and dejected. And then I reminded myself of something. He said, you know what? I'm fucking unstoppable. And I have a little bracelet I run a mastermind called Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. And I often wear that bracelet. And I looked down at the bracelet and I said, you know what unstoppable means to me? Unstoppable doesn't mean I set a goal and I achieve it right away. Unstoppable means I'm gonna fucking hike around that mountain and maybe it's not gonna be, you know, there's a window when you can do it. It's like July to September basically, because after that it's like the river crossings are too big or there's too much snow on the mountain. So it's just a short two month window where you can do this kind of thing. And I was like, okay, so if I can't get it in now, then I'll get it in next year. And if I can't get it in next year, I'll get it two years from now. Like I'm gonna fucking do this. Like I am unstoppable. And so I remembered that and I felt stronger and I felt better. And I think that's what we're being tested. How flexible are you, how creative are you, how determined are you, how motivated are you, how tenacious are you? And are you gonna access those parts of you? Because it's not a matter of how much you're those things. You're already those things. It's just are you gonna fucking access it and dig deep or are you gonna quit? And you know, how much energy are you gonna have around this? And if your energy is weak and if you're like, eh, whatever, then life is like, okay, not for you. And I'm not talking about a value judgment here, whether you're a good or a bad person. I'm just talking about what works or what doesn't. And that's why I talk about the five levels of motivation at all my events. And you know, level three is all try and trying is weak. So when you hit one of those obstacles and you're trying, then you give up. But the stuff that matters to me, I don't play at level three, I play at level five, which is whatever it fucking takes. And so I'm like, okay, I'm unstoppable. So let me just enjoy this time on the mountain with my family. So I feel a lot better. We get up there and I decide, you know, each morning what I'm going to do is I'm just Going to walk. I'm just gonna walk some of the trail just so I get my, you know, get the lay of the land. And, you know, if I'm honest with you, once I decided I was gonna do this Timberline Trail, I started to research it. I actually got scared. So that might been part of the pain as well. Because the Timberline Trail represents a lot of things. It represents going further than I've ever gone before. Because 38 miles in the mountains is very different than 50 miles on the road. Further than I've ever gone before. Challenging old stories about my body and what I'm capable of and being out in the, like, the woods all day. And you have to cross all these rivers and stuff. Creeks, I should say, like streams. There's river crossings, quote unquote. And they're not that bad. But I don't know, like, people are talking about me needing poles and I'd never done that kind of stuff. And I was like, what if something happens out there? And, you know, what if I get injured? And I'm like, I don't know. So just some nettering. Is that a word? Some neurosis, some fettering. Is that a word? Anyway, some nervous. Nervous Nettie going on. So I'm like, let me just walk the trail. And so my body's still pretty stiff, but I can walk. And so I go and I start walking out there and I make it to the first little crossing, these double river crossings, and I get across them and I'm like, ah, I can do this. I can do this. And then I start to turn around and go back home. Because I was just doing this from like 5 to 8am in the morning before my family gets up. So I get to catch sunrise on the edge of Mount Hood, which is like, I am utterly blown away. I am in awe. When I'm out there, I'm like this. It's like I'm with God right now. This is incredible. This mountain is an hour and 20 minutes from my house and I've never been here. I was just. It was in awe. It was like one of the most beautiful landscapes I've ever been on. And I've been to a lot of places. I've been to Ansel Adams Wilderness and Yosemite and Ventana Wilderness, and I lived in Santa Barbara and I lived in a lot of places in California and the Redwoods, and I love a lot of places. And this is one of the most beautiful ones I've ever seen. So I was just in awe and gratitude to live so close to it. And then wouldn't you know what? I started to jog. And I was able to jog some of the trail back to the lodge. Next morning, I walk out and do it again. And on the walk home on the second day, I said, you know what? I'm going to do this. And I just happened to know that my brother is going to be in town later in August. And I said, wait a minute. What day is he going to be in town? Okay, dude. And I texted him. I was like, tarek, what do you say to doing the timberline trail August 28th? You know, end of the month, you're going to be in town. Let's fucking make this happen. Because he goes backpacking and other things like that. Now, he's not sort of like endurance athlete in a way, but he's got a lot of outdoor experience. And I kind of thought, wow, what a fun way to do this trail with somebody and with my brother, of all people. So what a beautiful experience. So I invite him, and he's like, I don't know about that, man. That seems really far. Like, I'm not in that kind of shape. I'm just running a couple miles, you know, two, three miles at a time, you know, three, three, four days a week. I'm not, like, at that level. And I was like, well, you got three weeks. Let's fucking train. And so I get inspired, and I'm like, you know, and in my mind, I'm like, I'm gonna do it anyway. Like, I'm gonna do it with him or without him, but I'm fucking doing this thing. And so I start doing more training, more distances. I go do about 20 some miles in Forest park, which is a trail inside of the city limits of Portland. It's an amazing forest that we can run through, but it's all mostly flat. And I've never done any significant uphill at all. And what's interesting, though, and this is the third aspect of adventures, is when I was running and jogging and walking around, and I went on a little road trip with my family during this time, during those three weeks. And I would do exercise every morning for a couple hours. And guess what I did? I looked for hills. I looked for inclines. I looked for opportunities to have my body go up, which, in general, I didn't like doing and I would avoid. So here's the third part about adventure. Once you're committed to an adventure, not only are you called to go do something, but you want to prepare yourself. It changes the Script all of a sudden the things that's like, oh man, that's uncomfortable. I want to avoid that. You're kind of like, I better do that. So I'm frickin ready for my adventure. You know what I'm talking about? Cause here's the way I think about it is you're gonna have a certain amount of discomfort. And people who know this is like for physical training, but this could be in anything too. You're gonna have a certain amount of discomfort in the thing that you're attempting to do. And if you can train ahead of time, your discomfort will be distributed over time. So take a marathon for example. If you, you know, you're gonna have whatever, 80 discomfort points at your marathon run, if you train, you might be able to digest an experience because you're doing discomfort before, right? You know, doing some long runs, doing some other runs, you know, maybe you take 30 of those discomfort points and you've processed them before the marathon. Now it's marathon day and you're only gonna have 50 discomfort points. Whereas a person who hasn't trained very much at all, they're gonna have, you know, a lot. It's gonna be all 80 on that day. And that's just the choice of how you want to play it. And it might lead to a six and a half hour marathon that feels like a death march for you. So I'm like, let me get some hills in. So all of a sudden you change your orientation. I wonder how that would happen if all of a sudden you've avoided certain things in marketing in your life and the idea of marketing and learning about it. And all of a sudden you get jazzed about your own business idea and you're like, I'm going to freaking create this thing. And here's why it's amazing. Here's why I'm motivated, here's why I'm going to be unstoppable. And here's what it's going to bring to my life. And here's why it's a fucking must for me. And all of a sudden you might approach sales or marketing in a whole different way. A level of enthusiasm, a sense of like, bring it on. Because now I see this is not a bad thing. This is the thing that's going to get me more of what I want. More liberation, more freedom, more power, more autonomy, more success, whatever it is for you. So I start doing some hills, but honestly, not that many because there weren't that many around then. We're getting closer. It's the Week of the Timberline Trail. About four days to go. My brother's gonna get in town in a couple of days. And I am just anxious. I am so nervous, like, anticipation, anxiety, and my stomach's really tight. I'm having stomach issues and like, you know, stuff that I often don't get. Stomach issues. I used to get a lot of stomach discomfort and IBS and all these things when I was nervous. And I haven't had that in a long time. But here it was boom, IBS and then some body pain too. And I was like, oh, no, of course. That's that sort of victim story, right? Like, life's going to take it away from me right before I do it. And so I realized in that moment, you know, when we're called to adventure, we might not know why it's important to heed the call, but we just know that we must. But we might not know all the reasons and all the gifts and all the purpose. And I believe that's because the call for adventure is coming from something much bigger than you. And it's like your play, your part in the cosmic drama is like, are you going to heed that call? But all the gifts it's going to bring and all the ways it's going to change and transform, you are unclear. But I realize part of this is like, this is me continuing to radically evolve and upgrade my identity of myself to get way beyond anything that relates to, like, oh, I'm a person with chronic pain. I'm a person who can't do, blah, blah, blah, that this is part of that journey to transform, of transformation. So it's the day of the night before, the night before. My brother's in town, his wife's in town, she's pregnant. You know, it's like we love being around them, Our kids love them. And so, you know, and I'm like working all day. I'm running a mastermind group in the evening. So it's a pretty full day. So we ended up packing. Like, I get off of work about 7:45 and then we're like, okay, we gotta pack. Our plan is to leave. Our plan is to wake up at like 2:45 in the morning and drive towards the mountain. So I need to pack. And Zaim wants to play a Magic the Gathering with Tarik. And he's like, can you play with us too, Daddy? And I'm like, yeah, why not? I'll play magic and pack at the same time. Which fucking didn't work at all. So then we're packing at like, you know, nine o'. Clock. Anyway, we get to bed. I don't fall asleep till like, I don't know, like, 10:30. So I get about 10, four hours of sleep. And it's fitful sleep at that. And then we get up and then we go. And then we're getting. We drive up to Mount Hood. And I'm just like, nervous. I'm nervous and it's like, oh, my body's hurting. Is it going to be too much pain? And here's another thing about adventure. As you get closer to the moment of action, the moment of leaping, couple things might increase. Anxiety and all the physical symptoms, delightful physical symptoms, whatever yours are. Maybe you get panicky, maybe you have sweaty hands, maybe you. Me and your stomach likes to act up is gonna increase. And also, you know what's gonna increase? Doubt? The stories in your head of, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. Of course, that was going on and on in my mind. But here's the thing. What I teach everyone I work with and what I hope you get from this is confidence is not the absence of fear or doubt. Confidence is the ability to steer your fucking ship and say, I'm gonna go that way in spite of fear and doubt. Because doubt has no power to stop me. Fear has no power to stop me. It reminds me of a quote which I heard recently, which I loved, which is doubt whispered, you're not strong enough to withstand the storm. And I turned to doubt and said, I am the storm. And so we get to the bottom of the Timberline Trail at the Timberline Lodge. We get out. Fortunately, there's a bathroom accessible, and I go use that. And then we get our water packs on and everything, and we get our food, we get strapped up, we get ready to go. And it's 5:20am, it's still dark out. We got our headlamps on and we set out on the trail. Oh, shit, here we go. So we start hiking, and I'm actually starting to feel pretty good. I realized a lot of that body pain was just nervousness. So I'm like, thankful. Like, okay, great. Then the. I mean, it's just the sky starts to get lighter when you start the trail. You are, like, right on this stark mountainside with, like, barely any trees and just rocks. It's a volcano. Mountain. Mountain Hood. It's a volcano. So sides of it are just like pure rock, and other sides are like forests and rivers. It's amazing. So we start hiking over. You get this Amazing vista of the peak of the mountain and this large kind of canyon. And the sun's starting to come up, and it is just absolutely gorgeous. It also happens to be kind of downhill. So we get to the first river crossing. It's two miles. We're just, like, crushing it. We jog. Cause the plan is to jog some of it, right? So we're jogging it. We're like, yeah, we're Superman. Two miles. We got this, you know, and then we just start trucking along. And then the sun rises, and we start some of these ascents where you go up and feeling strong. And we're doing it, and we're trucking along. And then about, I don't know, six miles in, there's this dude who comes up behind us who's also running it. In a day, a lot of people will camp. They'll do it over four days. Three, four days, where they bring backpacks and camp. And then there's the crazy folks who do it in a day. And this dude comes up to us behind, and he's like, you mind if I tag along with you guys for a little bit? And we're like, sure. And his name's Brad. Brad came from Wisconsin to do this trail. And Brad had done his homework more than we had. Brad had, like, researched everything. Brad knew all the differences, all the milestones, what the elevation changes were. So he gave us some key data. He said, okay, we're gonna go from here from 6 miles to about 11 miles is gonna be a major ascent to get the high point. Then it's a lot of up and down, and then you basically have a lot of down. And then the last eight miles are just peer up. It's gonna be a bitch. We're like, okay, thanks, Brad. And then we hang out for him, and he goes on. He's faster than us. So we part ways and we hike. We make it to the top of those 11 miles, and it is hard, and we're high up. We're feeling strong, you know, 10, 11 miles, we got this. We're doing really good. I'm like, well, geez, if these trends continue, it's a piece of cake. And then we start to say, you know what? Let's start jogging. And so we start jogging a little bit, but it's pretty rocky terrain. And all of a sudden, I start having this experience where every time I put my foot down when I'm jogging, I get this sharp pain. It's like my knee pops, and I get this sharp pain that goes up and down from my knee. Every time it feels like it's popped, like it's out of its joint or something. And I'm like, oh, God, it's miserable. And that's another thing in adventures. Once you're on the adventure, not only is there going to be a setback or something right before you start or right at the beginning, but once you're out there, there's gonna be a challenge. In fact, that guy Brad, who was behind us, felt like he pulled a hamstring, or not a hamstring, a quad. And he was kind of limping for a little bit, and he's like, oh, I hope this goes away, you know? Sure enough, he took off like a fucking mountain goat. We never saw him again. So he was more hardcore than we were, though. But anyway, that's what's gonna happen on your adventure. So you're just gonna put your business out there, and all of a sudden you're gonna be like, oh, this thing didn't hit the metric, or I thought this was gonna happen, or I didn't get this funding, or you're gonna go on that date, and all of a sudden that person might seem like they might not want to be with you, or whatever the adventure is for you, it's going to happen, and you're already on it. And this is another test. This is a test of how do you deal with this? Do you freak out? Do you collapse now in this trail? I guess technically we could turn around, but that's. You get more and more committed, and that's true for a lot of things in life. And if you're playing at level five, whatever it takes, then you stay on course. I mean, you might need to change what you're doing or change your approach, but you're going to keep fucking going. So, unfortunately, though, a lot of other adventures in our life, we can just stop. We can just quit, we can just turn back. And we have a justification. We have an excuse. We have a story as to why. But that might not serve you. That's why it's valuable to have people in your life who hold you accountable, to say, wait a minute, I thought you said you wanted this. You can still change your mind, but at least you're being more explicit and more conscious about that choice. So we're going along. I noticed my mind starts to freak out. And then I started practicing something I'm learning from Ian, which I'm not going to go in much depth here. Maybe later I'll teach you guys about it. But basically, it is Noticing where you put your consciousness and where you draw your energy from. Are you focused internally or are you focused externally? And for me, he's determined that I get more energy externally, which seems to check out. So I started, like, literally hold my hands up and, like, bring my awareness outside of my body into the surroundings, which nature is amazing for, and kind of pull energy from the field around me and say, the field around me can organize my system. Anything that's going wrong with me can be addressed. And I did that for a little while. And the knee thing kind of was off and on for about three or four miles and totally went away. So. Thank you, Jedi. Ian in the woods. So we're going along, and then we take this turn and start to go up. And then we get on this really craggly peak. This is about 15 miles in this really craggly, rocky, sort of like, where's the trail? What's going on? And we're looking at. I have a GPS on my phone, so I can see where we are. It says, hey, we're right on the trail. It says the trail goes kind of down into that ravine there. And we're kind of confused. We have to go. And we go down into the ravine. We're like, this is wrong. So we go back up to the ridge, which is hard as shit. And then we see some people, and we're like, oh, people? They're on the ridge. That must be the way they go. So we go on the ridge. Turns out those people are coming the other way. And there's four of them. They have got packs on. And they're like, hey, what's up, guys? You guys doing the Timberline Trail? And they're like, yeah, yeah, we're going to the Timberline Trail. We took a loop, and we're like, oh, so you're going back that way? They're like, yeah. And we're like, wait, isn't this the Timberline Trail? And they're like, yeah, no, this is the old Timberline Trail. It washed away. There's a new loop. You gotta go in a new place. You gotta go back down to Cloud Cap. We're like, ugh, turning around is never good for morale. So we turn around. Probably adds about a mile to our trip. We turn around, we go back down to Cloud Cap, and then we start to hike. And then it's now it's the heat of the day. It's like noon. It is fucking hot. There's no wind. It is probably about 80 degrees. And we start to climb, and it's like, we're at mile 16 now. And that is when there's the squeeze. Call this the squeeze. And I believe this is part of every adventure where you hit this phase where it's fucking, I can't do this. I gotta get out of here. Right? The panic. The panic phase. And I know the squeeze from being part of this church called Santo Daime, which is a church where you sing hymns in Portuguese, and it's a Brazilian church that's in many places, including the United States. And you drink ayahuasca and then sing these hymns in Portuguese. I don't speak Portuguese, but I can read it enough to sing the hymns. Although during a good chunk of the ceremony, I'm not reading anything. I'm just kind of in my own zone. But inevitably, when taking ayahuasca, there would be a period of the experience where it just feels like too much. And it's like, I want this to stop. This is overwhelming. I'm disoriented. I'm freaking out. And you gotta learn how to navigate that. And at first I thought, oh, maybe that'll go away. And then I learned, like, no, that's the experience with any entheogen or psychedelic is you have to be able to learn how to navigate that. And so I kind of felt that. And I've had enough experiences with that that I'm able to navigate it pretty well. But we're about miles 16, say, and it's up and it's hot, and we're like, do you have that salve for chafing? Everything starts to chafe, and we're like, we're almost halfway, but we're not. And it just starts to get. It's a downturn. It's a negative space that we both kind of went to. And this is going to happen in your adventures too, right? That kind of dark night of the soul. Like, oh. And in my mind, I start going real negative, like, why am I doing this? I don't want to be here. This sucks. I don't ever want to do anything like this again. But I'm not saying it. I'm just feeling. I'm thinking it, but I'm also aware, like, oh, wow. I went really down really fast in my mindset right now. Like, oh, interesting. So I was aware of it, too, but it was pretty strong. And we keep going. And we have this idea, like, when we get to mile 20, we'll be basically a little bit beyond halfway. And if we add a little bit with that wrong turn, say, it's a 40 mile trek. We'll be halfway at 20. It's gonna be amazing. So we get to mile 20, dude. Miles 17 to 20 was like, repeatedly like, okay, don't look at how far we've gone. Cause it's like one of those things where the clock. You've ever been really bored, and it looks like time slows way down. Well, that's what this was like time had slowed way down. So it's like we've been going for 17 and a half miles, and then you check it later, it's 17 and 3 quarters of a mile. God damn it. So we keep trekking. We make it to 20. We have a celebratory high five, eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We did it. And then we start hiking. And actually, the hardest point for me on that trail was probably up between mile 20 and 21, because the elation of halfway had faded. And then it was like, oh, my God, we're like just getting started on this thing. And, you know, this is where the aches and pains started to come in. Because 20 miles, yes, I'd done that before, yes, I'd done 50 miles before, but never this kind of elevation change. You're going up and down and up and down and up and down in rocky terrain. And different demand on all your running on the road is like, it's nothing. Like your legs and calves and feet are all just doing the same thing again and again. This is like you're navigating terrain all the time with rocks and roots and all this stuff. So it is taxing. And it starts to be like, oh, my God, this is gonna be just like the worst day of my life. But then that's not the case, is it? That's right. It's not about the adventure. It's not about where you are in the adventure. It's not even about the setbacks. It's about you and what you bring to it. And so, sure enough, kind of turn a corner somewhere in there and just start to feel better, start to feel more energized, start to feel more capable, more possible, and start to feel like, hey, I'm actually enjoying this. And then we start trekking more, and we actually get all the way from about 20 all the way to about mile 30 and about mile 27 or 28. It starts to get easier. Like the train. We're on the north side of the mountain now. It's like woods, it's cooler, it's a lot of flats, even some downhill. What Brad told us was true. We made it past the, you know, the first brutal ascent. Then some up and down, then a lot of flat and some down. It felt really nice. I just. We jogged a lot. It felt fantastic. It was like I was elated by mile 30. I was like euphoric. I was like, this is the greatest thing ever. Like, I can't wait to do another one of these. Like, oh, the pendulum swing, right? And it felt incredible. And then we had this thing. We're like, okay, it's a 38 mile trek. We went 30, you know, maybe an extra mile. So it's gonna be 39. We hit mile 30, we're like, hey, we're. We're in the back nine now. We call it the single digits, baby. We gave each other high fives. We celebrated 30 like crazy. You got to celebrate your wins. That's the other part of adventures, right? You got or life. You got to celebrate your wins along the way. If you don't, shit, what's the point? You only celebrate when you get to the end. Well, why not juice yourself along the way? So every, you know, we had these little milestones, but especially every 10 miles, big, big celebration. I think we're out of sandwiches at that point, but we had a bar in celebration and then kept going. And I should say that, man, a couple of times in there. Mile 20, mile 25, there's all these stream or river crossings, and the water is pure snow melt and it is ice cold. And we have these water bladders with filters, inline filters, which means you can fill up the water bladder, which is like a camel pack, like a big plastic sack. And then it's a tube that you suck on. And in between the sack and the tube, you can put a filter so that you can not catch any bacteria or anything that might be in the water. So you get to drink straight from the mountain. Snow melt water that's ice cold. And when it's like 80 degrees and you're torching, you're all sweaty. That was like the greatest beverage in the world. And so it was phenomenal. And then we start going and it gets a little. And then we get to about mile 32, 33, and we know the next five, six miles is going to be like pure up. And we're sort of prepared for it mentally, and we're like, okay, here we go. So we start trucking and it is up, up, up, up, up. And we're just power hiking at this point and no running's happening. And we're going up, up, up. Keeps going, keeps Going, keeps going. And now it's starting to get dark. Our plan was to try to make it back before sunset, but we. Or before darkness, but we didn't. So we're hiking through these woods, we're going up, up, up, up, up. And we see like the mountain through the trees and it's kind of like this, the sunlight is receding and we're like, let's get to this break point, this top point before we can, you know, see the, see some of the light. Like, let's get to 35, mile 35 before it gets dark. And so we just bust it. And I am going faster and feeling better at mile 35 than I did at mile like 13 or 14, which is crazy, right? So it just goes to show you that the stories you have in mind somewhere where you are in the adventure, about what the future is going to be like, are false. The idea that where I am now is how it's gonna always feel and always be, is false. And just each moment is new, each moment is fresh. And how can I bring more of myself, how can I bring more energy, how can I access more energy for what's needed right now? So we get to this little ridge at mile 35. We see the mountain, we see the sunset, we see the dusk forming. Absolutely beautiful. Keep hiking. Then we gotta get our headlamps on. Now it's about 8:30pm and we're getting close. We're like, mile 37. We're like, okay, we gotta be there, getting real close. Keep going up, keep going up, keep going up. And then it starts to fall apart. So my brother who is like, I mean, he's not done as much training as I had, right? And he's just like been crushing it in terms of speed. All of a sudden he hits a wall and and just his body is like, I'm fucking done. I'm done. And it's funny because the wall happens right about mile 38. So his body was like prepared for a 38 mile trek. And it's like we weren't done yet. And he's like, I'm fucking done. And so he starts getting nauseous, super nauseous. And then he starts getting a little wobbly. And I'm nervous now because it's dark. We got our headlamps on. Now it's like 9 o' clock and he's wobbly, maybe 9:30 even, and he's a little wobbly and maybe it's 10 o', clock, I don't know. But it's kind of later than we thought we'd be. And he's a little wobbly. And some of these trails that we're walking on, it's like on a cliffside. So I'm like, I don't think he's gonna fall. I don't think he's that out of it. But like. So I'm like, let me go behind you and just kinda be near you in case something weird happens. So we're kinda, just kinda watching him and then we're going up, we're going up, we're going up. And he's like, hold on a second. And he leans his arm against a tree and, and puts his head down towards the ground. Breathes heavy and spits. And I'm like, I know that pose. I know that pose. Well, you know what that pose is? That's the I'm gonna barf pose. So then begins the vomiting. And so he, you know, woozy and nauseous and he throws up. And then we hike a little bit more and he throws up again. And then he dry heaves and we're like, oh, shit. Like, you know, this is toast. So I like, man, when you're really nauseous like that and you have to keep going, that's fucking hard. And he is like, he is pure grit, man. Pure will. I really admire that about him. I think a lot of the stuff that I've done physically, I've always been afraid of that, so I've trained more and I know he's done stuff like half marathons with like very little training and stuff like that. So he's got some, some capacity to just dig really fucking deep. But anyway, now it's like really late and we're going really slow and we, we think, okay, we, it can't be more than 40 miles because we can't be. But I keep looking at the GPS and I'm like, I think it's more. And we keep going, keep going. He keeps pausing to barf. He's wobbly. He's like, I can't do it, man. We're. We're at mile like 42 now. And I'm like, when the shit are we gonna get there? It keeps looking like we're close to the lodge, but it's. Every time you zoom in on the gps, it's like, nope, still about another mile. And so we're literally about less than a mile out. It's like 11 o' clock at night or 11:15, and we've just slowed to a snail's pace and he's like, aziz, I know this sounds crazy, but I just can't make it. Let's just get the. We brought an emergency blanket in case someone got injured out there or something. One of those, you know, like four wheelie blankets. He's like, let's just give me the emergency blanket. I'm just gonna stay here. And I'm like, okay. All right. That's right. It's hard, man, right at the edge. Alright, let's keep going. I'm like, that's, that's not a. That's not a viable solution. We're not gonna leave you less than a mile from the lodge in an emergency blanket. It's not gonna do it, man. So rally him. And then finally we turn a corner and then boom, we can see the lights of the lodge. We catch this little trail that goes down towards it. Put my arm around him, I'm like, we did it. And he's like. And stumbles in. He's got his own room with his wife and we got a room there and we made it back to the lodge. And that was the epic it turned out to be. It was like 43 and some miles. So I don't, I think our. I don't think we got that much off a trail. I think it was just a. The trail's longer than 38 miles apparently. It's probably like a 42 mile trail maybe with the new. Where the washout trail was, I don't know. But whatever it is now we know. And I got home and Candace was still awake in our hotel room. Boys were asleep. It was probably about midnight and I mean I was utterly exhausted and elated. It was like the greatest feeling in the world. And it was some sense of breakthrough of like anything is possible and that's what's on the other side of adventure, you know, Is it is the adventure about achieving the thing? I don't think so. Like walking around the timberline trail in whatever time we did it in like 18 hours is by no means like some world record. I mean people run that shit in like seven and a half hours. Hardcore people, so. Which is by the way insane that people can just like run up those hills and stuff. But so it's not about the achievement and like the haha, everybody look, I'm a champion. It's. It's about, wow, I broke through, I did the impossible. So what else can I do that's impossible? And how does me doing the impossible enrich my life and contribute to others both close and far? And I love it. Because it inspires my family. My Candace gets more energized and wants to keep expanding in her health and fitness and other things in her life and other dreams she has. My boys were constantly feeding that. One of my sons is like, I'm gonna run a marathon. And he's like 4. And we're like, alright, let's, you know, let's figure out. I bet by next year you could run a 5K. And so just sort of feeding that. And he, you know, looks up to the things that I do and they know the other side of the journey, which is the pain side. And so it's not just, oh, he set his mind to do these things and then did it. It's like, look at what dad faces to do this. So I want to teach them and I want to inspire them. My goal is by hopefully sharing this with you, it's inspiring you to step up to your own adventures, what are for you and know that it's a whole journey. I mean, the beforehand. That's why I wanted to share with authenticity as opposed to like, yeah, I did it, nailed it. It was awesome. It was like, well, it was. And it was brutal at times and it was. I hated it for a couple miles in there. And that's the experience of life. And here's the thing. I guarantee you that when you step into your adventures more, you will feel all kinds of things. Maybe suffering, maybe pain, maybe dislike, maybe resistance, maybe elation and joy and freedom and power. Regardless of all those, there is one thing I guarantee that you will feel which is more alive. Because we are made for adventure. We're made for risk. We're made for doing these things. We're made for doing the impossible. Growing, expanding and impossible doesn't have to be crazy. Maybe for you, creating a couple of close friendships is impossible in your mind for whatever your stories are. So that's the impossible that you want to focus on because it will enrich your life and other people's lives. So we finished that the next day. I am just fucking dead. Oh, because. Oh man. So Candice wanted to get up and running the next morning on the trail for a little bit and I told her I would, you know, because she'd done a lot to support me and be able to do this thing. I didn't get to bed though. I thought we were gonna get back so much earlier. I didn't get to bed. I was wide awake when I got back too. I didn't fall asleep till about 2.30am and then I had to get up at 6:30 to take the boy so she could run. And I told him I'd go on a little hike around the trail with them for like, you know, whatever three quarters of a mile or something before breakfast. So I like wake up after four hours of sleep and I'm like, and then I go hike, I'm sore. And I hike around the trail a little bit with them. And then that day was just like brutal. All I wanted to do was just be laying down and we walked around Timberline and then we drove home. We stopped at this trail and I was just like, kill me. And then over the next couple days kind of came back to life and recharged my energy and then had one of the most beautiful gifts of all, which was this is when you step into adventure, it's not just about that one thing. It's about what it will do to you and what it will transform in your life and transform in you and what it will illuminate about what you're meant to do next. Because remember, I believe the call for adventure is the divine call. It is God calling to you, it is life calling to you, is the universe saying, hey, go this way. And when you step into it, you don't know. It's the unknown. You might not even know why. You just have to do it. And then when you do new things, illuminate and what was illuminated to me was, wow, that's not a one time thing. I'm meant to go back and not only just once to do it again. I, I meant to spend a lot of time in the Mount Hood Wilderness. And it just came really clear to me like, oh, I'm supposed to go do this a lot and learn. There's so many trails up there that are amazing. That offshoot of the Timberline and the Pacific Crest Trail, there's like hundreds, I don't know, Hundreds, but maybe 50 different trails up there. And I'm like, I'm going to go explore every single one of those trails and know that mountain like the back of my hand and go back and do the timberline again. But having spent a ton of time going up and down and learning the terrain, knowing how to use my body in that kind of environment. And it's like, not only that, but I felt that I was learning so much from being out there that the mountain. I had a teacher when I was younger who really believed in like the power of sort of the natural world and its ability to teach us. And he talked about how different tribes that he lived with and Learned with, like, would like communicate with mountains and other, you know, natural objects. And so when I was walking around this mountain, it's pretty amazing. You know, during the whole 43 miles, you're kind of, you're circumnavigating the mountain so you see it from all these different angles. You see like the north side and the south side and the east side and the west side. And you'll kind of walk through some woods and you'll pop up and there it is again, the mountain. Always there, still just like total stillness, depth and serenity. And I felt like multiple times I was like receiving something from the mountain. And perhaps in different tribes they might say medicine from the mountain. It felt like there was something like that, like receiving messages. And the coolest thing is the messages were not mental or cognitive. It wasn't like, hey, Aziz, here's the answer to this. It was just like I was being informed. I was receiving information that was changing me, that was altering my capacities and mindset and energy and maturity and what I might decisions I might make. All of that was being updated non cognitively. It was like a direct pipeline into my heart and into my energy system from the mountain. And then when I got down, I was like, oh, I'm not done. I have more to learn from Mount Hood and it has a lot to teach me. And so I'm going to go out there and I'm going to figure it out. And I'm going to figure out what gear I need to be able to be out there all different times of the year. How do I be out there in fall? What kind of rain gear do I need? How do I be out there in winter? What kind of snowshoe stuff do I need to get? Just like I'm going to keep going to this mountain to keep learning from it, and who knows what that leads to from there, right? That's the call of adventure. One thing to the next, to the next, to the next. And I could tell you a story about business adventure or my relationship with Candace and how each one thing has led to the next, to the next, to the next, to the next. But ultimately, this story is not about me and my adventure. It's a story about you and your adventures which leads to our action step. Time for action. Action, action. Your action step for today is going to be to inquire and listen to the call of adventure. Where is that in your life? Maybe you've already been, maybe there's already been the call for a long time and you've been like pushing it away. Like, no, no, get away. I mustn't go. Or maybe you're already on it and now you want to steer it and navigate it. So where are you in some of those stages? What are some of the challenges or experiences you're facing? What is that for you? How can you embrace it? How can you step into it? What would that bring to your life in any area? Maybe it's a physical thing, maybe it's a relationship thing. Maybe it's a business thing. Maybe it's some other area of your life. What does it call for? Adventure. Beautiful. I'd love to hear about it. If you're not already a member of Confidence warriors, go to the Facebook group. Just type in Facebook. Type in Confidence Warriors. You can join. It's a free community that we have online you could be a part of. I would love to hear about your adventures and what you do there. Thanks for being with me today. Thanks for listening. Hope this story of adventure has inspired you, created new possibilities for you, and will lead to extraordinary things in your life. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the shy guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them them a link to shrinkforthshyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com.