Dr. Aziz offers brief, practical advice for people who feel nervous around their boss: first slow down and identify the specific fear or bodily reaction behind the anxiety, then reframe your goal from seeking approval (to be liked/respected) toward adding value in your role, team, company, and to your boss — letting respect/liking become a byproduct.
If you feel nervous around your boss, you have to watch this video. Basically, start by asking yourself, what am I actually afraid of? It might just be this body reaction without even knowing it. So slow down, whether it's in the moment or get home in the evening and say, what exactly was I afraid of in that meeting or in that interaction? And you'll discover most likely what's happening in the moment that you're afraid. You're wanting something from your boss. You're wanting him or her to see you a certain way as smart or capable. You're wanting them to like you, to respect you, to give you something, to not be upset with you. Whatever it is. Notice what that contraction is around. And I get it. Of course you want your boss to like you and think you're smart. But the more you're attached to that, the more you need. That becomes your primary focus. And you want to shift this. Make your primary focus to add value. Add value in your position, add value to your team members, add value to the company, add value to your boss. And if you're focused on that, the liking you or the respecting you will be a byproduct. But that's not your primary focus.
