A short YouTube monologue by Dr. Aziz arguing that being overly nice and accommodating (people-pleasing) is a harmful life strategy. He illustrates with a client whose relationships and career suffered from chronic over-accommodation, and advises that speaking up, setting boundaries, and saying no—though uncomfortable—are necessary even if they cause disruption during change.
Being nice is a poor strategy for life. Pleasing others, giving other people what they want without even checking with yourself, over accommodating, avoiding direct conversations and conflict. It doesn't work. I was just speaking with a client the other day and this is typical of so many people that I work with where his relationship's in a bad place, his career is in a bad place. It's because he's just over accommodated. Over accommodated, over accommodated. And it makes things worse. And now he's starting on the journey to be different, to change, to speak up for himself, to say no. And he's afraid, is this going to cause problems? Are things going to fall apart in my life? Life? And the answer is maybe because you've been running a strategy for so long that doesn't work now. You're cleaning things up. And some things that weren't you and that aren't healthy are gonna have to change and fall away. And let's see what the result is. But what's the other option? Just to run the same old pattern for another six months? Six years, 60 years? And so the same question for you. I know it's uncomfortable to speak up and to say no and ask for what you want, but niceness only makes it worse.
