OMOS Bonus Episode: The 4 Levels of OMOS
25 Feb 2020 · 16 min
A bonus episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy (host Dr. Aziz) promoting his new book On My Own Side (OMOS) and teaching the four levels of being "on your own side." The episode combines promotion (buy the Kindle for 99¢, leave an Amazon review by March 5th, raffle entry instructions, links: omosbook.com and support@socialconfidencecenter.com) with a stepwise psychological framework: Level 0 (fused with self-criticism), Level 1 (catch and interrupt direct self-attack), Level 2 (detect subtle self-undermining and return to OMOS), Level 3 (mostly OMOS: center of gravity of self-compassion, reduced social anxiety), and Level 4 (aspirational "permanent almost": deep self-acceptance and flourishing). The episode emphasizes practical tools in the book (taming the critic, five-step process, exercises) and invites readers to purchase, review, and share the book.
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Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. This is the show for you. If you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self doubt, social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence, first in myself and then in every single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. Hey, welcome to today's episode of the show. Today I am excited because this is a bonus episode. Because today is the release, finally, of On My Own side. Transform self criticism and doubt into permanent self worth and confidence. That's my vision for you. That's my vision for everyone on this planet to. To be able to access that level of self compassion, self love, being on their own side in all ways. In fact, this episode we're gonna be covering the four levels of OMOs, and you're gonna understand what they are because it goes way beyond not attacking ourselves. So we're gonna dive right into that in just a few minutes. First, I wanna say, if you haven't Already, go to Amazon.com and get yourself a copy of the Kindle version. You can also go to omosbook.com omosbook.com and then right there on the page, it'll say, go to Amazon and get your copy. So do that today. In fact, you can even pause this episode right now and then go get that. That's the main action step because we're going to cover some key stuff from the book in this episode. But, man, don't you want to get the complete version, the whole story that's going to guide you through all the exercises and processes to make this transformation real and not just some pipe dream. Wow, that would be great. To treat myself differently and feel better about myself. Let's make it a reality. Let's make it happen. So go there to get your copy. And even if you're like, I want to get the paperback or I love the audible version totally, we're going to be releasing those very soon. But please, as a favor to me and to support me in this mission and to help other people out there who need this work, we want to spread this. And the way that we do that is we spike the sales on Amazon in the Kindle version in a very short period of time over a day or two. And what that does is it shows Amazon like this is valuable, put it out there in bigger ways to share with more people. So that would be supporting me and my mission and a ton of people. And let's do this. Let's really make a shift, and we can change the way a significant number of people treat themselves, feel about themselves and how they live as a result. And I think that's the kind of change that I want to see in the world. So I'd love your support with that. And on top of that, we have an exciting opportunity to earn prizes. We're going to be doing a raffle where we're giving away over $5,000 worth of prizes. And here's how it works. So once you get your Kindle copy of the book, dive into it. And then over the next 10 days, by March 5th, we'd love for you to be able to write a review for it. And now some people, it's just whatever you've gotten through in the book, some people are going to tear through that whole book in a couple days. Some people are going to read a little bit at a time. And whether you've finished it entirely or not, or just have gotten whatever sections you've read, chapters or sections, if you could write a review over the next few days, then that would again support us in rising through the ranks in Amazon. And I want to know what you think and how it's impacting you. So some people will just write a few sentences based upon what they've got so far and then update the review later. And other people, you can write paragraphs of how it's affecting you and impacting you. And then what you do is you just snap a screenshot of that review and make sure it's an honest review, whatever you feel it earns and how it supports you, how valuable it is for you, and then snap a screenshot of it, send it to supportsocialconfidencecenter.com support supportocialconfidencecenter.com and we will enter you into the raffle where we're giving away all kinds of stuff. Signed copies of the book, one year, unlimited access to Confidence University, which is normally $13.97, tickets to my upcoming live event, Supremely Confident Conversation Master, which right now are in the early bird phase, for $9.97. So that's worth 1,000 on that front. And more coaching sessions, all kinds of valuable stuff to really help you not only be inspired to read this book, but inspired to share it and that's another thing. If as you get your copy, I'd love for you to share it with someone in your life, someone you think would benefit from it. A friend, a family member, a parent, a child, a colleague. I know a lot of people were sharing not nice, and I deeply appreciate that because the most powerful books are shared through word of mouth. And so I'd love for you to share this with people. And you can even share it on social media. That would be awesome too. And again, it's 99 cents, so the investment is extreme. It's basically free in this day and age. And that's what I want. I want to get this book out there in a big way. So thanks for being with me on that front. Now let's dive into the four levels of OMOs. Level one. Level one is when you're able to catch and interrupt direct self attack. So level one of being on your own side, you're able to catch yourself when you fall into a spiral of direct self attack. And you notice it when you're saying mean, harsh or critical things to yourself. For example, after you get rejected by someone and you think, ugh, I'm a loser, or how embarrassing it was for me to have asked that person, you don't automatically agree with the criticism. Instead, there's some alarm bell that goes off inside of you that says, hey, I'm attacking myself right now. And then you apply the tools that you learn in the book of Omos to interrupt that criticism instantly and stop it in its tracks before it can grow really big and just start to derail you for the rest of that day, week or month. And if you do notice that you've fallen into self criticism already, like it's already happened, then you have tools to get out of it. So think about level one is like damage control. The critics already about to hit you or is already hitting you, and you're able to maneuver around that and break free. In fact, we have a chapter in the book that's all about. It's called how to tame your critic. And it gives you tools and specific strategies to be able to do exactly that. That is an essential life skill that unfortunately most people do not have. Most people are totally unaware of their critic, unaware that it's driving them so much. Or they're aware of it and they're like, yeah, I mean, but what else are you gonna do? Clearly the critic is gonna determine what I'm gonna say, do, be, achieve, go for in my life. I mean, it's a scary voice in my Head, I have to do what it says, right? So, or worse, it's me, I'm saying this stuff to myself. They're fused with their critic. So level one is seeing that you're not part your critic is not who you are and that you can challenge it and you know how to do that. Now, for many people, what I just described there as level one of OMOs is like, that's as far as many people think. They're like, oh my gosh, that's being on my own side. And it is at level one. And yeah, your life between level zero, which is just swimming and self attack, where you're criticizing yourself and you're fused with your critic and you don't even know when you're doing it. You just feel bad and you feel awful and you feel inferior and those thoughts feel true. That's level zero. And the life quality shift between level zero and level one is massive. So it is a huge boon to your self confidence and to how you're going to feel day to day. However, let's not stop there. Let's keep raising our standard. Level two is you catch all forms of self undermining and return to Omos. So in this level, your alert radar goes off whenever you turn on yourself in any way, no matter how subtle. Direct self attack, where you just really go lay into yourself. That's a more rare occurrence and it's kind of surprising or maybe even jarring when it occurs like, whoa, I used to treat myself this way. And so as you catch and eliminate this direct self attack, your critic turns to more sneaky methods of undermining your sense of self confidence and worth. So in this level, level two, you get better and better at seeing those sneaky methods in action and then finding your way back to being more compassionate and loving with yourself. So a question that if you're operating at level two, you're regularly asking yourself throughout the day is, am I being on my own side right now? Hmm. Am I being on my own side right now? So when you're struggling and you're not feeling that good, you're feeling down, you're feeling anxious, you're feeling hesitant, you just get curious and say, hmm, how am I turning on myself and what can I do to take care of myself? Right now, you're actively curious about your own well being and committed to quickly offering the love and approval that you need to yourself. And so the more you practice it, the better you get at it and the more it starts to feel unacceptable to not be on your Own side. I liken it in the book to having an Omos immune system that mobilizes a quick response to combat any form of self attack and return you back to being on your own side, which is optimal health. So that's level two. Level three is what I call mostly Omos. You reside mostly on your own side. That means being on your own side is your center of gravity and what you keep coming back to naturally. And this results in a radical reduction of social anxiety, self judgment, and all other forms of self doubt. You like who you are, you're less obsessively focused on how you come across and whether people will like you or not. And if someone's upset with you and if you're okay and if you're doing it right, and if you're enough, you just feel solid in yourself and you rarely engage in any form of direct self attack. That's a rare occurrence. If it does start to happen, you notice it right away and you're like, whoa. Well, something's got my critic really fired up. I must be taking a lot of risks today. And you approach your critic and all the parts of you with curiosity and acceptance. When you're suffering emotionally, you're truly empathic and looking to see what you need and what will help you. And as a result, you're able to take a lot more healthy risks in your life because you're not afraid of the horrible berating that's going to happen in your head after you get a failure or rejection. And you're more open to and engaged with life. And in this level, I say mostly almost because you sometimes catch ways that you're turning on yourself and then you're curious about the roots of these patterns and plant your focus on addressing these things and healing them. At the core, which is what part four of OMOs is all about, is what I call permanent Omos and how to really resolve some of these limits. Long standing patterns of perfectionism and low self worth so that they stop coming up in the same way. And as a result of this, you become more and more you, less and less living from how you think you're supposed to be and what other people want, and more and more you, which is a much, much more powerful, liberating form of being on our own side than just not attacking ourselves. I mean, it's really about discovering who you really are and embracing who that person is and then living that person. So that's level three. As you're listening to this, you might be saying, well, jeez, that sounds Amazing. How can there be a level four? Well, there's always a level four. There's always a level above. There's always a further place to go. Now, Level four I think of as an aspirational goal. This is not something that you better get to level four or else you're not there. You haven't arrived. I mean, every time you elevate one of these levels in Omos, your life's gonna be radically different, radically better. But level four, it was like, what is the highest level of being on our own sides? And I call this permanent almost. And let me just read you a little excerpt from the book about what permanent almost is. You are truly of accepting of who you are in the world, including all of your past mistakes and painful moments. You see the magic and beauty in who you are and how your life is unfolding. It goes way beyond begrudgingly accepting yourself in spite of your shortcomings. Rather, it's deeply falling in love with yourself, loving all of who you are, including the way your left eye gets smaller than your right when you smile and the way you get secretly irritated when someone plays Michael Jackson because you never really liked his music in the first place, and you're not sure why everyone thinks it's so amazing and you never saw the fuss in the first place. That's totally hypothetical, of course. You are doing you at this level, life is moving through you and you're letting it. You relish who you are. You love being in your body and are so grateful to have this incredible vehicle to move through the world. At this level, you only want the best for yourself. You don't tolerate poor treatment, and instead, you cultivate a relationship that's affirming, inspiring and loving. You're doing work that feels meaningful and fulfilling for you. In short, you don't settle in life, and as a result, your life is awesome. When there is pain, loss, heartache, or change of other inevitable things in life, challenges that arise, you're on your own side throughout. You hold yourself with tenderness and patience as you feel the inevitable pains that this human life sometimes brings. So does level four sound good to you? Do you want less of level zero and more of level four? Me too. And we start by mastering level one. Like any good video game, we gotta level our way up. Let's get started. That's the end of the excerpt. And then we get into how to regain control inside, how to become the dominant force, the authority inside you, and not let the critic run the show. And then, tools to disarm the critic to tame your critic. I gave you a five step process on how to do that and then how to go even deeper and accept everything about yourself, even the stuff that you thought was totally unlevel. Well, how to actually do that? Not just a platitude like you gotta love yourself, you gotta accept yourself. That stuff drove me crazy when I was younger because people were like, yeah, you just gotta love yourself, man. I'm like, yeah. How? I need a roadmap. Well, this is your roadmap. I cannot wait to share this book. I cannot wait for you to read it. I want you to dive right in. Share with people in your life during this window where it's available for 99 cents and head on over to Amazon and write a review as you're reading it so we can get you involved in that raffle. Just by reading this book, you will shift. Your life will become better. You'll get more on your own side. You'll love yourself more. And if you go through this book from start to finish, that's going to be that much more impactful. And if you do the exercises within, your whole world is going to transform. So I cannot wait to hear about your journey with the book. Read those reviews, see what your experience is. If you have questions, of course, reach out. You can send an email to supportocialconfidencecenter.com and be sure to get your copy of the book today, which is the release day. So go to omosbook.com omosbook.com to get your copy now. And thank you so much for being with me on this journey. We'll be seeing you tomorrow in our standard episode for Shrink for the Shy Guy. Until then, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Sa.










