Dr. Aziz teaches one way to build assertiveness: commit today to being 5% more direct and truthful in every interaction. He gives examples from meetings and relationships, then suggests checking in after conversations to adjust. He mentions his book Not Nice and paid programs like Confidence University for deeper work.
Do you want to be more assertive and to be able to speak up for yourself more directly, more freely and more easily? In this short video, I'm going to share one simple hack that you can use right now to do that. Because we've all experienced seeing that person who just does it, and it seems like it's no big deal. You know, you're sitting in a work meeting and they just say something. You're kind of like, whoa, whoa. Does anyone upset by that? Is that okay? And no one seems to really. The meeting doesn't melt down. People just kind of move along. And maybe it was effective, maybe it changed the course of things. Or maybe, you know, you've done this or you've been around somebody where someone just says something and it's like, so real in a relationship, so direct. And it's. Maybe it's about what's happening in the moment. Maybe it's some feedback for somebody and you're like, oh, oh, no. And then you watch it and you're like, wow, that went really well. And maybe you want to be one of those people who can just speak up and share what's on your mind. Maybe you read my book Not Nice, and you're working on being less nice and more you. And if so, this little hack will help you. And here's what it is. And don't dismiss it, because it sounds really simple. It is really simple. But all of this stuff is simple. It's about accumulating and doing these simple practices until you become a whole different version of you. So here's what it is. You decide what's the date that you're watching this video? Look at the clock on your phone or your watch, or just maybe know the date off hand. Maybe it's Thursday, maybe it's Tuesday, whatever. Today's date. As of today's date, decide that you are going to be 5% more direct in every interaction you enter into. Starting right now. Right now. So that next meeting you walk into, 5% more direct. That next conversation with a friend, with your family, 5%. That next interaction with your lover, your partner, your spouse, 5%. What does that look like? It doesn't look like a radical. Oh, my gosh, what's gotten into you? Change. It's really small. Like, I was doing this myself. I'm constantly looking at how I can be less nice and more me, even after all these years, because it's like there's always another level of freedom. And I was noticing that I'd gotten a little bit, like, caretakey of other people's feelings as I can fall back into where I'm like really overthinking, like how someone respond to that and is this person okay with that? And so I was like, ugh, ugh, let's clean that up. And so I went to this meeting and we were brainstorming something for the business and someone shared an idea and I was like, nah, I don't like that. Let's think about something else. I just kind of rejected their idea. And before that I would have been like, that's pretty good. Thanks for sharing. And let's see what other ideas we got. And I was sort of facilitating this meeting and I was just like, no, that doesn't sound good. Let's see what else we can come up with. And it was like my voice and my facial gesture was just like, no, I don't like it. And it sounds so simple, right? This stuff is not mysterious. It's just letting what's in there come out more freely. And that sounds like the smallest thing to you. And that's the point. It's meant to be small stuff. You just say a little bit more direct, 5%, 3%. I'm just going to let it out more. What out more? What's already in there? You know, you already don't like the idea or you already bothered. So someone says, hey, you want to go see that thing? And you're like, nah, I don't like that thing. Or oh yeah, I do want to do that, right? You know, so it's both directions. Either a no or I don't like it or a yes, I do. All are more you, but it's what is true. So another way to say this is be 5% more truthful. Because really what you're doing when you're hiding, when you're pretending, when you're not saying it is, you're deceiving. So bring in that assertiveness. Is 5% more you into those interactions. And then after the interaction check back, was I 5% more me there? And if the answer is no, it's like, okay, well let's bring it to the next one. And what do you do? It all starts with that decision. What's the decision? I'm going to be more real, more me, more authentic, more bold. If you want more support with this check out Confidence University would be the best place to start in depth. Study on that. As well as live and virtual events we got coming up in this year, one of which is going to be focused on being not nice so fantastic. More about that coming soon. Until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.
