Overcoming A Pessimism & Scarcity Mindset!

Hey, it's Dr. Aziz, and you are jumping in right into the middle of one of our morning work meetings. We were discussing all things confidence related, and as is often the case, I'm talking with Janee here about comments and questions that people have sent us. And what is often the topic of discussion in our meetings is questions that people have and answers that we can send them or answers that I can record. And today I was going to record a quick video response to one of the questions he received, and instead of doing it later in the day, I thought, why not you just jump right into our morning meeting and be a fly on the wall? So we had a question from a fellow named Sean, and Sean is a fan of the YouTube channel, has gained a lot from that, and is getting one of my books, I believe. The Art of Extraordinary Confidence, perhaps. Anyway, Sean has an interesting background, where he grew up in India as a Sikh and then came to the United States and had some challenges because of being from a different culture and having a turban and coming to the United States in a time where having a turban in some places can get you into a lot of conflict and prejudice. So, you know, some challenge there to confidence. But also his core challenge started long before he came to the United States and sounds like growing up with his mom. So, Janay, can you read his question and we'll give it an answer? Sure.

So, long story short, I've lived an isolated emotional life, but my reason for reaching out is the one issue I cannot overcome. It's my scarcity mindset. I've adopted this from my mother, where nothing will ever work and has been ingrained in my emotional wiring. It stunted everything. I'm now 42 and struggling with my business, which logically needed.

Right. So scarcity, which is, you know, people think scarcity like, I won't have enough. Maybe I won't have enough money, or I won't have enough love, or I won't have enough safety, and then nothing will ever work out. And I know that one. I know that one well. I still have that in my head pretty much before. Anytime anything new occurs is some part of my mind will say, that's not going to work out. And I'm glad you're reading Sean the Art of Extraordinary Confidence, because in there, I explain that there's something we have inside of us called the safety police. And the safety police is just that voice, a collection of voices. It takes many different forms, many different characters, but their consensus is, don't try. It's not going to work out. So I'd imagine when that voice is convincing, what it leads you to do is to shut down, to try less, because what's the point? And to ultimately really stall out in your life. And so the logical solution is just to go do it right, is to step up and take the action. But that's easier said than done because that voice is so convincing. And it can be so much fear. That's ultimately what it is. So much fear around taking the risk, around doing whatever it is you need to do for your business. So the first question I have for you, Sean, and for anyone who's struggling with scarcity, with it's never going to work out, is to say, okay, what if that's false? What if that's just a story? Do I know what I actually need to do for my business? Forget about doing it. Just, do you actually have an idea of how you need to improve your marketing or hire someone or make better sales or whatever it is you need to do for your particular business? Sean, this is for anyone, though, who wants to. Same thing if you have scarcity in dating. What do I need to do to put myself out there now? Whatever you come up with, if you imagine going and doing it today, your mind might say, well, there's no way. It's impossible. Well, what if you were to do it? Then what you're going to come up against is the real obstacle, which is just fear. Raw, shaky, quivery stomach, maybe diarrhea fear. And that's what happens when we start to face the edge, is it's scary, it's uncomfortable, we get really unsettled in our bodies. And so what I found to be the most powerful way is to find what the specific action is, focus on that actual action, and then work on soothing your nervous system, learning how to calm yourself. I was just telling Janae right before the recording this video that right now we have early bird tickets on sale for my live event, the Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough. Which is, I don't know, it's my favorite event, but it's definitely up there. It's so fun. It's in the summertime in Portland. We have people do all kinds of fun. Embarrassment, inoculation and rejection. Overcoming rejection. So much fun out in the world. I love the event itself. The selling of tickets for the event, not so much. For some reason, every time I sell tickets for a live event, my nervous system kicks into threat mode. Maybe it's about the putting something big out there, the potential rejections, the lots of rejections. And there's some danger threat in my nervous system. And so I do the exact same thing that I'm encouraging you to do, Sean, and everyone else is to learn how to calm myself. So what does that look like? Well, that actually means taking some time, even if it's just five or ten minutes, and not having videos in your ears and music on the radio, just really getting quiet, going for a walk, or just taking out the distractions and the tech and go inward with your attention and find the spot that's the most quivery and uncomfortable. The very last thing that you want to pay attention to, the thing that feels like, no, not that, it's that. And then you go to that with your attention, and you just breathe and build your capacity, just be with it. You're not thinking your way out of it. You're just putting attention on it and soothing energy like, it's okay, we're safe, you're okay. I know, but what if people don't come to the event? I'm gonna die. Okay, all right, you're scared, you're safe. It's okay. Same thing with you. Like, oh, if I do this in my business, it's not going to work out. Yeah, you're scared. You're really scared of it not working out. It's okay. And you don't have to engage with it. You don't have to convince it that it's all going to be great. You just have to soothe it, calm it. And sometimes, As I said, five minutes, sometimes I'll do this for 30 minutes straight. And that might seem like a big commitment or a lot of time, but I'll tell you, the amount of time we waste through procrastination and avoidance and ineffective action is way greater. So give it that attention, and then that allows me to step up and then go do a bunch of scary shit all in one day just by giving it that attention for 5, 10, 15 minutes. So that's what I encourage for you, Sean, and for anyone else. And thank you for joining into our meeting. Now we're going to get back to handling affairs such as timing of daily message, routine deliveries and other fascinating information. And thanks for being with us, guys. See you soon.