Overcoming Social Anxiety

How can you rapidly overcome social anxiety so it doesn't have to hold you back in your life? And you can be a lot more free, confident, expressive and actually enjoy connecting with others in dating and social situations at work, feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin. That's something I've been obsessively studying for the last 18 years. My name is Dr. Aziz and I'm the founder of the center for Social Confidence. And in this short video I want to share some powerful tips that that you can use to overcome social anxiety today. And again, if you wanna go further with this, first things first is make sure you head over to my website, Drazziz.com,-R-A-Z I Z dot com. There's a link down in the description below this video where you can get my eBook 5 Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. Which will go in much more depth than this video can on exactly the steps that you can take to overcome social anxiety once and for all. So let me give some tips right now that you can apply today though without even have to go download an e book. Just like give me the answers. I know how YouTube works. I'm a fan of YouTube. Just tell me what to do. Let's go. So here's what you do. First things first, you have to see and know what social anxiety is. 22nd version. It is a pattern that you're actively running that involves perceiving someone else as judging you, disliking you, rejecting you in some way, either mentally in their mind or actually saying it to you. And that you kind of deserve that rejection because there's something wrong with you. You're not good enough. It's those two pieces combined. And let me prove it to you because let's say someone came over to you and said, I don't like you very much. And you were like, that's okay, I don't really care what they think. No social anxiety, right? So it has to have they don't like you or they're judging you. Plus oh, you're right. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. Oh, there's something wrong with me. Oh, right, some of that shame or not enough piece. That's what makes up social anxiety. Now notice this, it's a pattern that you're actively running, which means it's like a light switch. You can have it on or you can have it off. And you've probably experienced that no matter how much social anxiety you have, you have periods of time where it's off. Maybe you Feel you're around a certain friend, it's off. Or when you're. You know, I've seen this a lot. People have a certain activity where all that stuff just falls away and they're this, like, badass version of themselves that comes out. You know, I've seen it in ranging from sports to one guy I worked with, he's like. When he played video games, he'd become, like a different person. He's all loud and confident, you know, and then he's around other people, around women, and he's like, don't look at me. Right. So where does that version of you come out? Isn't that interesting? The light switch. So how do we turn that switch off more and more so you can overcome social anxiety and be freely you around anyone? Well, first things first. You have to realize that the story you have about what other people are seeing you as is not reality. Oh, yes. So you might feel totally certain about, like, that person thinks I'm a loser. Why? Because I feel like they think I'm a loser. Okay. It's like it's gonna rain today. All right, Aziz y. I feel it. I feel like it's gonna rain today. Okay, great. I could be certain of that. But that doesn't actually have any connection with whether it's going to rain or not. So your certainty of how someone is judging you is not actually connected to how accurate that is. And in fact, they've done this in a lot of research. With social anxiety, your ability to predict how people are going to react to you is all effed up. It's just a mess because the data is skewed. You remember a lot of past rejections. You anticipate future rejections, which are very unlikely, but you imagine they're very likely. So your predicting mechanism of your mind is off in its calibration. Now, don't take offense to that. Mine is, too. All of ours is. But it's especially off when we're running the social anxiety pattern. And that's actually not bad news. That's not like, oh, there's another thing wrong with me. That's good news. Because it's just a matter of recalibrating that and getting a more accurate sense of how I come across and how people react to me. Which brings us to the next thing, next point, which is some people say, you know, should I say affirmations? Should I say I love you, I love you. I love you to myself. And that is a valuable component, changing the way you talk to yourself. Extremely important. In fact, that's step number one in my eBook, Five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence, which you can get for free@drazeez.com but that changing the way you talk to yourself is very important, but it will not help you overcome social anxiety unless you do the most important thing, which is to get more data from the world around you about what is really true. So you've been living in your head for a long time. They think this about me. That person's not gonna like that. That person thinks I'm a loser. And so you've restricted your life. And, and the way to overcome social anxiety is to step by step, little by little, one action at a time, challenge that story in your head to see what really happens. So those people aren't going to like me if I go talk to them. Guess what you got to do if you really want to overcome social anxiety is talk to them. That person certainly wouldn't date me. But guess what you got to do? Ask that person out. Oh my gosh, I couldn't possibly be the center of attention here. Guess what you do. Raise your hand, say, hey, I'd like to share something. And you might say, well, first of all, before we hear objections on that, do you see how liberating that's going to be? Let me explain why it's essential to do that, and then I'll handle the but wait a minute, how can I do that? Objection. That always comes up. So do you see how powerful it's going to be? Because if you really get how liberating that's going to be, then the how question would fall away because you'll start to say, wait a minute, yeah, I see that. Because all of a sudden I raise my hand, I say, yeah, I want to share something. Now I've done a new experience and all of a sudden I see a lot of new stuff. Like maybe actually I could articulate myself well, or if I didn't articulate myself as, you know, not as perfectly as I wanted to, it also wasn't a huge deal. No one seemed to really care that much. You know, I go ask that person out, maybe I get a yes. That'll scramble your circuits. That certainly did for me. I had such certainty the answer would always be no. That's why I never did it. And then when I started to really confront this stuff and overcome social anxiety like you are, I got yeses. And it scrambled my mind. I was like, wait a minute, are you sure? Not a great question to ask as a follow up to Getting someone's number. You really want to do that? Let me give you some doubt then. Or the person says no, and guess what you might say, well, that would be terrible. It would be so embarrassing. No, actually, that's great. Because you're in your life. You're not just in your head imagining future fantasy scenarios. You're in it. And you realize that when you're in life, yes, you might get a no. Yes, you might get a rejection. Yes, someone might dislike you, but you can handle it a lot better than you think. And there's resources and tools and skills that I teach that can help you be able to handle it better. But you got to get in the game. And then you start to figure out, oh, geez, I better learn more of his stuff so I can handle this stuff better, because now I'm in the game. So one last thing I want to end with, which is, okay, okay, I hear that disease. But how? It's a very belabored but how do I raise my hand and say, I have something to share. But how do I walk over and talk to that person? But how do I share in that group? I don't know. When your why is strong enough, you figure out the how. I mean, do you really want to be free? How long have you been struggling and stuck in social anxiety? The average person is 10 years before they seek any help. It was about the same for me. I mean, how many years do you want to be living on the sidelines of your life? If you really see the toll it's taking on your life and you really imagine what it's going to feel like to be in your twilight years and look back and feel the sense of regret that you missed out on 30, 40, 50, 60% of your life. If you really acknowledge that, you might have massive motivation right now to go do something right after you watch this video, the how is a deceiving question. You don't need to know how. You just need to do it. And if that's too intense, then pick something smaller. If you can't go walk over and ask someone out, then say hi to somebody as you walk by. Message someone on a dating app, just say, hey, how's it going? Like, get into the practice of taking small actions. There's no need to know how to take a small how do I put my. Lift my foot up and start to walk towards that person? You just do it. So be wary of the mind. The mind is just trying to come up with another reason, another reason why, another reason why not to and just get past that. Just get out of the mind, get into action, start to take control of your life and you will overcome social anxiety. And again, for a much more in depth explanation, check out my book, my whole website, by the way. Tons of valuable materials and resources and books and other things that will help you make this shift. It's absolutely possible for you to completely overcome social anxiety, so it doesn't dominate your life in any way, shape or form for the rest of your life. Yes, it can be that awesome. Yes, you can experience that. Yes, I want that for you. So share down in the comments below what you're learning, what you're seeing about yourself, and we can all grow together until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are, to know on a deep level that you're awesome.