Own Your Value - 5 Elements of Self Esteem (2 of 5) | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

Do you unfortunately, and maybe secretly think less of yourself? Think that you're less than others? Compare yourself to people, even if you're already successful or already have a lot going on for you, you compare yourself to other people and you feel less than. If you're doing this, then you're probably human in our culture right now, but it's just dripping away your confidence bit by bit. It's just bleeding it out. And. And in this short video, you're going to learn how to stop that and how to feel good about yourself and how to continue to have high confident self esteem no matter who is around you, no matter what happens. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz and this is the show for you if you want to maximize your confidence in every area of your life that matters. And this is the second video in a series about the core elements of self esteem. And these came from a one day mastermind retreat I was doing with some people in a group program where the whole day was like a deep dive into self esteem. And these are the five core pieces that emerged. And as always, I take the best stuff that I discover that I learned from working with people that I read in books and I want to share it with you because my mission here is to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence in as many people as I can, starting with myself and then out into the world. So this is the second piece of self esteem. This is own your value. This is how we build our self esteem. We have to own our value. So in the big intro I was talking about how we compare ourselves and we feel less than when we do that. We're forgetting our value and that's something that we can easily do and we can do it all the time. And unless we make a conscious practice to train our brains, otherwise we seem to always forget. So how do we do that? How do we train our brains to own our value? Let's do that right now in this video. So first when I say your value, do you know what that is? Like, do you already have that queued up in your mind or do you have to dig for it? Like, what makes you valuable? What are your strengths? What's awesome about you? Do you have two or three or four or five things that are coming to your mind right now? And if not, if it's like a, you know, one of those in the old school computers, I don't know if they still use this. It's like in the max right now. It's the spinning wheel means something's working. And the PCs I used to have, it was a little turning hourglass. If that's what's happening right now, you're like, I'm nice, then that's a problem. And fortunately, thank God you're watching this video because you need to own your value. You need to be able to recite those things fast. And not just intellectually, disconnectedly, but feeling them, knowing them, owning it in your body, your value. So work with me here. What's one? Let's just pull up one right now. Just say it out loud. What's one strength? One thing that makes you awesome. Good. What's another thing? What's the second thing? Don't think about it too much. Don't analyze it. Don't say, well, I'm that way 84% of the time, but 16% of the time I'm not that way. So I can't give myself credit for that. Like, just fuck that. That's just the critic trying to get in your head and tell you that you're not good enough. Push that aside. And what's your second trait? What's your second strength? What makes you awesome? Think about that right now and pull that out. Allow it. So to own it, there's several steps. First, you have to acknowledge, like, I have value. Secondly, what are my strengths? You want to get real specific here? I'm an amazing dad or mom. I am really skilled at college carpentry. I love to be out in nature and I know all kinds of things about hiking trails around this area. I am kick ass when it comes to doing this kind of work. In my project, in my workplace, you got to find those things and know what they are. Then after you've identified them, you have to own them. But before we can go into owning them, there's one thing about identifying them that I have to address here with. Sometimes people feel sheepish about this. They feel like, oh, that's egotistical. Oh, that's arrogant. I'm going around tooting my own horn. I'm going to become like a braggart. I'm going to become Donald Trump, right? And we're afraid of being narcissistic or arrogant. And here's the thing that over the top egotistical thing that you don't want to be. You don't become that by owning your strengths. You know how you become that? By not owning your strengths. By not owning our strengths, we feel inferior, right? Like, I'm no good, they're great. And then we either collapse on ourselves. That's what a lot of shy people do, is just collapse on ourselves. And then you got some people who tend to go the other way, who are like puffing themselves up all the time. I'm the greatest. Did you see that? Haha. I'm the greatest. And that's an attempt to feel better. But guess what? You can eliminate all that, both sides by just owning your strengths. Because when you do that, when someone is really centered in themselves and they own their strengths, they don't need to brag about them all the time to other people. They just do the thing. They just kick ass at that project. They just go hiking and bring a friend and be like, check it out. Check out these trails. There's all this great stuff around here. They don't need to brag. You don't need to brag when you own your strength. So give yourself that gift right now. Just allow it in. I remember I was doing this with a client and at first he had a lot of resistance to it, and then eventually I was able to help him release that and he started to pull them out. He's like, well, I guess I am a really good dad. I was like, tell me more. So he started to talk about it. As he talked about, he got a bit more energy. He's like, well, and I do have a successful business. I was like, yeah, not just a successful business with many employees doing millions of dollars a year. You came from a different country with nothing and a little bit of debt, actually. He's like, yeah. I was like, tell me about that. So he started telling me about that. And as he did, I could hear he started to own it a little bit more. And that's the third piece. He is owning it. So here's what I did with him. I said, okay, you have one week. And this is what I would encourage you to do as well, because we're going to have a session the next week. I said, between now and the next week, here's what you need to do. You need to come up with your strengths and memorize them so you're not reading them, you're memorizing them. And each one you have to say, I am an amazing father, and here's why. And then give me an example. Give me a sentence. I am an amazing programmer, and here's why. I am a funny person, and here's why. So whatever the strength is, you say, I am the strength, and here's why. And then you fill in the here's why with some evidence, a story, some Example of that. I am funny and here's why. Because every time I get together with these group of people, I can make them laugh or you put me in front of a group of people and sure enough, within 10 minutes I got people laughing no matter how stuffy the room is, right? So you give it evidence and you start to own it, right? And then so I had him, not only do you have to come back and say these five or seven strengths to me and say, here's why you got to convince me. Like it's got to be in your voice tone can't just be like, well I'm funny and here's why. Because I make people laugh. That's not owning it, that's a question. Own it. So he came back and man, and he came back with like, I think we set it at five to seven. He came back with like nine and he was just on a roll and he kept on going and going and going and his last one is like, and I am sexy. And I was like, whoa. And here's why, you know, he's like, I take care of my body, I'm strong, I'm fit. And this huge smile on my face as he went one by one by one down the list because I could feel the energy of that. Now is he going to walk around, he goes to work the next day and say I'm sexy and I'm a great dad? No. But guess what? His energy is going to be exuding that and he's going to seem extremely confident and extremely approachable and extremely likable. Why? Because he's owning his strengths. So that's what you want to do. And you build massive self esteem and you radiate confidence. So do that now if you want to start. Own your strengths. Share below. Write in the comments below what your strengths are. I want to see them. Write them all in caps if you want to really own it. But most importantly, do the exercise. Go do this. Go practice it for a week, internalize it, take it in and your self esteem and your life will transform. So let me know how it goes and if you love these videos and want to watch more, subscribe now until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that that you're awesome.