Dr. Aziz explains a simple technique to improve social connection: use playfulness and humor to signal relaxed, cooperative energy when meeting people. He frames the problem as social anxiety and low rejection tolerance, gives role-play examples (e.g., playful comments about someone holding a Jamba Juice), acknowledges risks (possible rejection), and closes by promoting a three-day online immersion called "Supremely Confident Conversation Master" with discounted early-bird tickets.
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Do you want to know a powerful secret? To easily connect with people, Open doors, having people be more welcoming to you. Maybe you're afraid, you have social anxiety and you're like, oh, are they not going to like me? Are they going to reject me? Like, how's this going to go? And look, no one can guarantee you, you know, that every risk you take goes the way that you want. That's not how the game of life works. So, yeah, you go talk to that person, you ask that woman out or whatever, and the person says no or they don't want to talk to you. That is definitely a possibility. And we got to be willing to increase our rejection tolerance to say, you know what, I want to make friends or I want to date. And so I'm going to talk to a lot of people, and some of those people are going to be a no, and some of those people are going to be a yes. And the only way to find the yes, as one of my teachers, Steve Chandler, said, yes lives in the land of no. So you got to go in there, you got to quest into the land of no, so you can get those yeses. Having said all that, there is a technique that you can use today that's going to make it more likely that people respond positively to it. Doesn't guarantee, but it definitely puts the odds in your favor, as it were. What is that technique? What is that approach? It's playfulness and it's really simple. And you do it naturally when you're relaxed. And that's the key when someone is playful. It's play and games and humor. And that's what makes it more connecting, is because when you're being playful, you're emanating a message, a non verbal, emotional, unconscious message to the people around you that says, hey, we can be relaxed right now. We're not in fight or flight. We're not in contention. We're in connection. We're in cooperation. Everything is cool. And this is especially important when you're meeting new people because when people meet each other, they're sort of sizing each other up. What's going on with this person? What do I want from this person? What does this person want from me? Do I like their energy? Do I not like their energy? Like there's all these calculations happening. No matter how nice of a person you are. And you say, I like everybody. You know, your unconscious is doing a lot of processing and you're gonna have a natural attraction or aversion to everyone, right? And it doesn't have to Be super strong. It could be kind of neutral, but sometimes you're like, ooh, I really like this person, or, ooh, I gotta get away from this person. And you often don't consciously know why that is. Right? That's the whole unconscious processing of your whole emotional energy system is interfacing with theirs. And then boom, comes to a conclusion. So when someone's energy system is more open because they're being playful, it makes them more attractive, more desirable. When I talk to clients, it's not that they don't have that humor. It's they don't let it out right away. I was working with this on a client recently, and he was talking about, you know, he's getting for friendships and dating. Kind of not the greatest responses. And I kind of did some role plays with him to see how he was. And he was pretty, like stiff and formal. Okay. And that's what we do. And we. Hi, nice to meet you. Ha ha, ha ha. I'm going to stay totally in script right now and only ask the normal questions so that we don't have any problems. And then you hire me or date me or be my friend or whatever. And that doesn't work because you're not being you. And so I asked him, I was like, okay, how are you around one of your best friends? And he started to tell me a little bit more. I was like, okay, we gotta bring that version of you out when you first meet somebody. And so we started to say, like, well, how would you connect with people more playfully? And so I just sort of throw random situations out to him. One of the questions, I said, well, let's say you saw a woman and she was holding a Jamba Juice. You know, what could you say there? And he's like, well, I could say, what flavor is that? And I'm like, hey, that's not bad. That's pretty casual. How could you make it more playful? You know, what would you say if one of your met up with one of your buddies and he was drinking a Jamba Juice? He laughed and he said, I'd say, what kind of alcohol you got in there? Right? And I laughed because that surprised me. I was like, that's funny. That's good. And I was like, that you can say that to a woman that you just met. And he's like, really? And I was like, yeah. And, you know, it's possible that she gets offended. I don't know, maybe she's got a background with drugs and alcohol or knows someone or thinks that's offensive. Or something. And she's like, how dare you? Okay. That is the risk that we run. Yes. Lives in the land of no. And if you try to be totally vanilla, bland, neutral, so no one ever gets upset at anything you say, maybe you don't get harshly rejected, but you also never get any connection because people don't feel you. You're not even being you. You're being some facsimile of a facsimile of a smiley face version of you. Bleh. Right? It's time to bring you out, you know, and that's his style. He's got this kind of. He grew up with a lot of his cousins and guy friends and he's just like, they got this kind of banter busting each other's balls. And it was like that you can actually bring that out. And I gave him lots of examples. So when I go to situations, whether it's with clients, groups, I run teaching events, these videos, meeting people in business, even just like people to help us, we're we sold a house and are moving and all that stuff, like people that help us with that kind of stuff. I am within seconds of meeting someone, usually saying something playful, making a joke. Why? Well, first of all it attracts people, but more importantly, it's fun. It's fun for me. So it's a win win. So use this technique. I know you have that humor inside of you. Look for when you're most relaxed, just pay attention. When it naturally comes out with your friends or family, when you feel at ease around and consciously bring that in and you might nervous, you might say, I don't know if they're gonna like this. Yes, practice it. Do it again and again. Commit to yourself. I'm gonna bring more playfulness and you want the courage to put yourself out there and talk to anyone. You want to build your conversation skills so you can know you're interesting and engaging and always know what to say next and connect with people. You gotta join me for Supremely Confident Conversation Master. It is a three day online immersion. It's a virtual event. So if you're watching this video, I know you got the Internet and I know you can join me and it's going to be a life changing experience. We have super early bird tickets on sale now. That's 80% off the normal ticket price. You can click down below in the description to get your ticket. You're not going to want to miss this because these are skills that the sooner you learn them the better. So you can start to apply them. We've had people go to this event and create new friendships, deeper friendships, date more, feel more comfortable at work, socially connecting, barbecues, family parties. We had one person come to this event, and then when they got, they told us about a barbecue they went to with their family, and several people were like, whoa, what's happening with you? In a good way. So this is possible. You can change this. You can change this fast. Click down below to join me and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.
