RAPID RECOVERY From FAILURE!

Have you ever failed at something? Just totally messed it up, made a big mistake, made a fool of yourself, looked bad, egg on your face, dropped the ball? If so, welcome to being a human. Join the rest of us and let's talk about how to deal with that. And one simple strategy that I'm actually using right now to radically shift yourself. Free yourself of the shame and the stuckness and the fear and the doubt and all the baggage that comes with failure so you can freely move forward quickly and go achieve whatever is you want. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and this is a show for you if you want to maximize your confidence. And one area or one thing in life that really can kill our confidence is failing. Right? So I'm going to talk about that in this video. If you. If you're enjoying this videos and other videos, by all means, click like below and subscribe. And then a little bell notification so you get. You find out when these videos are coming. So the reason I wanted to record this one specifically about failing and what to do in the face of failure is I just failed, like literally. Well, I was failing for about 10 minutes. I didn't realize it until about less than one minute ago, probably about 30 seconds ago. You know what I was doing? I was recording the first YouTube video in this little batch of videos I'm recording. And it was a good one. I went on for 10 minutes in detail, hilarious stories, anecdotes, great stuff. And I had my notes and everything. I had the topic. It was a really good video. My energy was great. I was very pleased with myself. And so when I record, I record in two ways. I record audio on this lapel mic and then I record the video through the computer. And so I turned on the audio and I started recording. And then I get done and I look over, I was like, oh, that video went a little longer than I thought. I wonder how long it went. And I look over at the screen over there that's showing me what's recording and it says right across the top, there's a timer when it's going like 1 minute, 2 minute, 3 minutes. And I look over there and instead of a time, I see no tape, as in not taping, as in, you didn't press record, Aziz. And there's that immediate like, ah, dammit. Have you ever done that? Have you ever had that experience where you thought, you know, maybe you're writing something and then it's gone. You record drafting something up and then just it Disappears, or you didn't save it, or you thought you saved it, but it's not there. Or, you know, we could like this to, in social confidence, like you work up your courage to ask that person out and then they're like, no. And it can be a mixture of frustration, sadness, discouragement, but there can be this like exhausting kind of energy to failure. Right? Like, it's sort of like, oh, I put all that in and it didn't work. What a waste of my time. I don't want to do that again. Right? We all know that feeling. And here's the thing that I found to be most helpful in the face of failure is to give zero indulgence, zero attention, zero time to that feeling. Because the longer we give it, the more it just weighs you down. It's like tying some weights down to your ankles, like a really heavy 30 pound weight to your ankle and then just jumping into the water just pulls you down. So you know what I did? And this is a practice that I've developed a habit over many years, especially around recording. But other stuff too is I noticed it happen. I was like, okay, I'm gonna record it again. And I was about ready to hit record again. And then I was like, no, wait, wait, wait, I'm gonna record this other video about failure spontaneously. Then I'll record that again. So immediately get into action again. I immediately. And if I didn't have this idea come to me, I would have recorded that exact same video again. And you know what I say? Here's what I say. One, two things that help me with that. So the reason we lose that energy is there's a sense of injustice. It's like, ah, why did she say no to me? Oh, why did I, Why did I fail that project? Why it shouldn't have happened, I shouldn't have made that happen, or they shouldn't have made that happen. And one way to get around that is like to say, look, this, this is exactly what's supposed to have happened. Why was this supposed to have happened? There's a reason for this. This is beneficial on some level. And your mind's like, no, no, it's not beneficial. It's terrible. It's like, no, this is beneficial. And one thing I've learned for recording, and this is good for any creative endeavor that you lose, it disappears or it's gone or something is, why is this good? Because as good as I thought it was, it can be better. And the next version I do is going to be better. And I thought it was good enough, but apparently the greater forces at will did not think so, so do it again. There's a humbleness to it, there's a willingness to it, and this applies to everything. A video from way back when I recorded was called your refresh rate, which is after you fail, after you get rejected, how long does it take you to go out and try again? And if your refresh rate is low, that means it refreshes really fast, you can go out and do it again. Then the faster you're going to get success. So if you are going to, let's put it in dating and relationships, you're going to approach someone you're attracted to and, and then you ask them out or try to see if they want to exchange information and they're a no. You're like, okay, but what if you talk to multiple people that same day? What if you talk to someone like instantly right after? And this goes for a million one examples. This could be for certain kind of interaction or sales call in your business. This could be from like, let's say you're putting yourself out there in any way through an email. You're asking someone you're trying to network with, hey, can we meet up and talk about your business? Because you want to learn about starting a business like theirs. And they're like, no, get away from me. Instead of like, ugh, jeez. Then you just email five other people from that state. You train yourself to get out of that state of discouragement. As you're sinking, as you see, as you feel that weight starting to pull you down, you immediately pop back up and say, okay, you know what? Massive action time. I'm going to call those five people, I'm going to approach two other people, I'm going to record another video right now. And the longer you wait, the harder it gets, the more you lament it, the less energy you have. It's an energy bleed. And here's the thing, at the end of the day, you can support any story you want. You could say, yeah, it was unfair, it was unjust. And then you could go home and you could tell someone about it or tell your friend about it, or I could go in and I used to do this in the past. I remember one time I was recording, this is an old version of Confidence Unleashed. And I was recording long videos at that time. And I think it was like an hour and 20 minute lesson module and the whole thing. The audio didn't record at all. And everyone was just like. And I remember I got home that day and I told Candace about it, lamented the tragedy of it, and it was right around then that I decided I was going to do something different. So now if something like that happens, I don't even. I don't even tell anyone about it. I didn't while I'm telling you about it for this lesson. But. And other than that, don't give it any energy. So use this in your life, increase your refresh rate, and what else? Where else are you going to apply this? Share below. I'd love to hear your comments and as always, subscribe. Like I'll see you in the next video. Until we speak again, we have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.