Relaxed, Rock-Solid Confidence: You Are Enough

Do you sometimes struggle with feeling inferior or less than others? Maybe you hide it well, but inside you're comparing yourself. You're feeling less than you're feeling like you're not enough, not good enough in some way. And if so, you're a human. Everyone feels that. But you might feel it a lot and it might be really painful. And in today's episode, I'm going to help you start to really let that go, really relax that in a powerful way that can really set you free and give you a relaxed, rock solid confidence that doesn't come from being the best or achieving some incredible goal. It just emanates from inside of you and you feel better and other people can feel that and are drawn to you. And if that sounds good to you, then stay tuned and watch this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, best selling author and the founder of the center for Social Confidence. And this show is for you if you want to 10x your confidence in every area that matters to your dating life, professional life, your income, your business, your sales, your finances and your social life, your love life, every area. And this is going to help you in every area, which is this feeling that I'm not enough. Let's really look at this. Let's bring this to the light of our awareness and consciousness because that's how we're going to shift it. And so much of the time we walk around feeling like we're not enough and we have these patterns of comparing ourselves to others. He's more attractive, he's more successful. She's better at this, she's better dressed. This person has more experience than me. This person sounds smarter than me. When you do that, there's this continual feeling of like, I'm not enough. And you might not even get it in the form of comparison. You might just get it in the form of self criticism. I'm not. I wasn't good enough. I didn't do good enough there. I didn't help that person enough. I didn't speak clearly enough. I didn't speak loudly enough. I didn't sound intelligent enough. I didn't do it right. I didn't get enough done today. I mean, so what are the ways that you kind of hit yourself with this? I know for me it used to be a lot of like, I'm not attractive enough. I'm not interesting enough, especially when talking to women, but also other guys that I thought were cool. I'm not successful enough. I don't have what it takes to be successful. These are things I used to tell myself a lot. Now the ones that come up for me would be like, I didn't help this person enough. You know, I'll have a session. And some, you know, it could be really good and I could really profoundly help them. But some part of me can be like, oh, that wasn't enough because they didn't, like, have, you know, rockets exploding out of their head and eliminate all of their fears for the rest of their life. Never mind that you haven't eliminated all your fears for the rest of your life. You should be able to do that for them. Tony Robbins could have done that for them, literally with the rocket shooting out of their head. Right? So I didn't help them enough. I'm not a good enough coach. Where else does it come up? It comes up in, I'm not as good as other people at helping people. That's a big one. That comes up more for me now and, oh, I didn't get enough done. Woo. That one can be real big, right? I mean, I have. You could probably guess a lot that I like to do that's going on in my plate. I like to work with people all on one. I like to run my coaching masterminds. I like to create these videos and blogs and podcasts, all for free. I like to write stuff. I'm working on a second book right now and of course, taking care of one son, soon to be two, and being a good husband and trying to see friends when I can, you know. But there can be a persistent thing of like, I didn't do enough. I didn't do enough in the business. I didn't do enough with my wife, I didn't do enough with my friends. And that can lead to a sense of just shame, not feeling good. So what is it for you? And here's the thing. This short video is not going to completely heal this forever for you. I don't know anyone who's completely healed of this forever, but we can get a hell of a lot better with ourselves. We can treat ourselves a lot better. And it starts with a decision which is planting the stakes in the ground and saying, you know what? I am not going to unconsciously just run this horrible program that tells me that I'm not enough. I'm going to plant my stakes in the ground right now and say, you know what? I am enough. I am enough right now as I am. I don't need to do more. I don't need to achieve more. I don't need to get more recognition. I don't need to get more approval. I don't need to be having dates lined up. I don't need to have a girlfriend. I don't need to be making more money. I don't need to have a better job. I don't need to have a job. I am enough right now. And we want to, like, bam. We want to claim that. We want to own that. And there's this because there's parts of you, right? We all have parts of us. There's a party that wants to get up in the morning and go for a run. And there's a party that wants to eat a pizza and stay up late and have some beer and play some video games. I remember that part well, right? It might not have been beer for me. It might have been something else that was more enhancing of my video game experience and eating experience. It just might have been. Anyway, right? So we have these different parts of us, and the same thing is true. You have a part of you that's telling you that it's not enough, but that's not all of you. That's not who you are. That's not absolute truth. That's just a part in your mind. It's probably like a set of neural networks. It's just like. Just a habit. It's just a pattern, just a reflex. You can change that. You can start by saying, hey, I am enough. New reflex. And then that one's all, like, weak. You haven't fired it off enough. So you got to build that muscle. You got to start claiming that. Best way to claim that is to remind yourself in the morning. You know, there's a great teacher about. This is actually Brene Brown. She's phenomenal. I learned a ton from her. You should check out. A lot of people have heard of her, but you should check out her TED Talk, the Power of Vulnerability, or her books. They're awesome, too. But start in the morning by saying, I am enough. Today I decide that I am enough. Doesn't matter what I do, what I achieve. So I'm just really remind yourself of that. And then at the end of the day, when you're looking back, say, that was enough. That was enough. I am enough. Because I am imperfect. Because I am a human. Because I don't achieve everything I set for myself in the day because. Because I don't take every risk. Because I don't nail every situation with 1000% confidence. Because I'm a human. We gotta fight for the reality of what it Is to be a human. Not some weird ideal standard of perfection of always ending up on top of like some superhuman ideal that doesn't exist. And then you imagine they someone else has that. No, they don't. No, they don't. And if they say they do, they're hiding something no matter who they are. I am willing to bet that Tony Robbins wakes up some days and hurts inside and he has to do whatever he needs to do to try to, you know, heal himself. And he doesn't have a thousand percent unstoppable, 100% rock solid. I'll destroy you confidence every single moment of every single day. No one does. And whoever your hero or the person, your co worker that you're comparing yourself to, the lead sales guy never, never experiences this. It's not true. We all do. So start owning it. Start saying, yeah, that's part of being human. Claim your right to be human, Plant your stakes in the ground and say, today, I am enough. This is enough. That was enough. And give yourself that relief. And then from that will come rock solid, relaxed, powerful, palpable confidence that will emanate from you, that people will feel from you. You will relax them because they will also realize they don't have to do more and they are enough. And they will be attracted to you. You will be magnetic to them. So the more you do this, you heal yourself and you free others. It's a beautiful practice. And if you'd like to go deeper with this, check out my program, the confidence code, which is all about this. And then with that relaxed confidence, all the technical skills, how to start conversations, what to say, how to join into groups, how to be the center of attention. But you can't do all that stuff until you've really made some progress in this. So the confidence code, the whole first half of the program is about optimal self coaching and healing this stuff. And the second part is all about the conversation skills. So check that out, your confidence code to go deeper with that. And check out other episodes of this show. And before you do though, leave your comments below. I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear your experience. We can inspire and support each other in this way or ask questions. What did you learn? What was the most valuable thing? Share your comments below. Watch other episodes of this show. And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome, that you're enough, and that I love you and that you can love yourself until we speak again. I just really wish the best for you. All right, Take care.