Dr. Aziz (host of The Art of Extraordinary Confidence) presents a short coaching episode teaching a single, practical technique to reduce anxiety and boost confidence: let go of needing to control outcomes. He instructs viewers to identify a situation where they feel insecure, notice the "it has to go this way or else" attachment, locate the grasping feeling in the body ("graspy"), breathe into it while reminding themselves they don't need anything from others, and then act without controlling outcomes. He argues this reduces threat responses and makes people more relaxed and naturally confident; includes a brief call-to-action to subscribe and comment.
Chapters
Would you like to have one simple technique that you could use in any situation in your life to instantly feel a lot more confident? And no, it's not an affirmation. It's much more effective than that and it actually produces a much more powerful result. And there's scientific studies that back this. So stay tuned. In this short episode, I'm going to teach you exactly how to use this powerful technique to let go of anxiety and feel way more comfortable and confident in any situation. Stay tuned. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and this is the show for you if you want to maximize your confidence in every area of life that matters to you. Your dating life, your social life, your career, your finances, and just how you show up in the world. If you want to feel more bold, confident and strong, watch this episode and watch this show. In fact, if you want to get a ton of free training on this, subscribe below and you will get these episodes that come out very frequently full of valuable stuff that I get directly from my work with people and one on one groups and events, that sort of thing. So this is a technique I want to share in this episode is something that I actually started to see in myself and then I started to use it with clients. And then we just had an event recently and I saw it was hands down one of the most powerful things to help people instantly feel more confident. I want to share with you right now. So first things first, we got to make this real for you. So think of a place in your life right now where you don't feel that confident in that situation. Now, maybe people don't know it, maybe you hide it really well, but inside you know it. You feel insecure, you feel a little nervous. Maybe it's when you raise your hand to speak up in that meeting you give that presentation. Maybe you look all confident and bold and strong, but inside you're like. Or maybe it's approaching that woman that you find incredibly attractive. You're drawn to her or someone where you think they're better than you. Maybe you're intimidated to go talk to them because they have a higher career status or they are cooler, more friends or more popular. Whatever. It is an interaction, a situation where you feel anxious. And here's the thing, it doesn't even have to be a social situation. Maybe it's about you and your career in your finances. Like, oh, how am I ever going to make it? I'm never going to make it to the level that I want or Maybe it's just you in life. Maybe you're, oh, what if something bad happens to me or to my friends or my family, wherever you're noticing it. Pull up one area right now. Good. Now, here's the technique anxiety comes from. It has to go this way or else. Try that out, the presentation example. It has to go this way or else. And there's a this way in your mind. And sometimes this way is, you know, everyone's got a smile and nod. The customer, potential prospect, has to say yes. People need to think that I'm smart, intelligent, and amazing. I have to make no mistakes. Or in a social situation, this person has to want to keep talking with me. They have to want to give me their number. They have to want to be my friend. They have to laugh at my jokes. Whatever it is, we have a series of. It has to go this way or else. And that is an attachment, and that's an unhealthy attachment. It's a fixation, and you know, it's an unhealthy attachment or a fixation when it goes like this. That better happen or else. And you feel that sense of anxiety, and you feel this throw threat in your nervous system, and that's what it feels like. Our body, our nervous system, your mind, your body, your heart, your whole hormonal system, everything is acting as if it's under significant threat if it doesn't go a certain way. So what's the technique? Well, the technique and the fastest way to free yourself of anxiety and actually become way more confident, way more relaxed is to let go of needing to control that outcome. So you're in that social situation. I don't need to control how this person sees me. I don't need her to like me. I don't need this guy to be impressed by me. I don't need him to say yes to my offer, my proposal. I don't need to. Whether it's a business or a social thing, okay? I don't need it giving a presentation. I don't need these people to say yes. I don't need these people to be blown away. Just gonna do my thing and let's see what happens. And letting go of control. It sounds simple, right? You probably heard this in tons of places. And it's like the whole. The whole thrust of Buddhism, really, right? It's just let go and be in the moment. So it might mean your brain might be saying, yeah, I already know that. I already know that. Tell me something I don't know, Aziz, but here's the thing knowing something intellectually actually often prevents us from applying it in our lives. That's the fastest way. We just discount it. I already know that. But then we're not doing it. And you know you're doing it when you feel better and you feel more confident. So this video is to remind you to do it, to remind you that that's the most important thing. For me, this is what I remind. So there's something I want to set my mind to a project or I want to promote something, or I want to fill an event or I want to offer a product or write something or create a book or do something in my business or in a social situation. Right. I want to make friends with this person back in the days when I was dating is I want to date this woman because I'm drawn to her. She's beautiful, she's amazing. You notice that energy inside of you. You find that place in you that's like, I need this. And I'm pointing here because me, it's usually right around here in my heart. It's like that grasping energy. You'll feel it's craving. I need this and I'm nervous. And oh no, your mind is freaking out and trying to protect you from the bad outcomes, the rejections, the failures. What you want to do is calm your mind and say, look, it's not a threat. And then the way you do that and get really to a place of calm is you find that grasping energy in your body, which for me is in my heart usually. And you breathe. I call him graspy, the little grasping part. Always grasping for more. Love, approval, success, whatever. Status, significance, purpose. Okay, graspy. And just breathe into it. Remind yourself, I don't need anything from these people. Do that before your next presentation. I don't need anything from these people. I don't need anything from these. I don't need to control anyone. And then something amazing happens when you start making a practice of this and you stop trying to control people. A you feel a thousand times better. You're way more relaxed, you're way more at ease and just your natural self. And when you're at ease, your natural self, relaxed, confident. Are people more drawn to you? Absolutely. Do more people want to hire you, work you, promote you, be your friend, be your lover, be your husband or wife? The answer is yes and you feel better along the way. So this is the most powerful thing. I use this on a daily basis in my life. I want you to use it in your life. Let me know how it goes. Questions comments. Anything you'd like to share below in the in the section below. Also subscribe if you like the channel. And I can't wait to see you in future videos of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.
