Dr. Aziz (founder of the Center for Social Confidence) explains a common mental mistake that causes feelings of inferiority: confusing someone’s social/occupational role (title, popularity, appearance) with their inherent human value. He contrasts conditional confidence (depends on roles/conditions and is transient) with unconditional confidence (internal, role-independent), offers relatable examples (CEOs, parents, popular/attractive people), and encourages viewers to reframe roles as temporary to regain freedom and self-worth.
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Whenever you feel inferior around somebody else, you are making this mistake. And I'm going to share in this video exactly the mind mistake that you're making that's going to help you when you shift it, release that feeling and see yourself as an equal to other people. And so you don't have to have that. All the consequences that cascade from feeling inferior. Because when you feel inferior, what do you do? Speak up and share yourself and boldly take action? Or do you hesitate, hold, hold back, hide, protect yourself, diminish yourself and miss out on opportunities? All right, so in this video, you're gonna learn how to shift that, how to shift it quickly and ultimately have the freedom to be you around anyone. That's the promise of building confidence, is you can be free around anyone. And something I've been obsessed with for many years. I'm Dr. Aziz. I'm the founder of the center for Social Confidence. I have been obsessively studying confidence for the last 20 years in my own life and have been helping other people radically shift theirs on along the way. I'm the author of five best selling books on confidence and I got my doctorate in clinical psychology. You can find out more about me on my website@drzeze.com but the key thing that I want to share with you today is how to release that feeling of inferiority. So one of the biggest causes for inferiority is this, that you're confusing someone's role with their value. You're confusing their roll with their value. This is a little mental mistake, a thinking error. And when you change this, you're a lot more free. So the other day I was speaking with a gentleman and he was in some meetings and There was several CEOs, different companies, and he wasn't at that level. You know, he was doing sales and so he was interacting with these people and he's like, well, the CEO walked in the room and this person and he felt very nervous. And usually when you feel nervous, underneath there's a sense of inferiority less than. And, and what was he doing there? He was confusing that person's role, their title, CEO, you know, president. And the title could be official, like that CEO. Or maybe a role of this person is playing the role of a popular person, a beautiful person, a rich person. And so you see that role and that person's playing that role and you say, well, geez, how can I even talk to that person? They're so much better than I am. No, they're just playing that role at that moment. You know, that CEO when he or she goes home, is not playing the role of CEO. You know, do they have young kids? Because if they got a three year old, the three year old doesn't care. They're like, you clean up my stuff, wipe my butt, right? And the CEOs there wiping his kid's butt. Come back here. I didn't get it. All right, so that person takes off the mantle, takes off the role, and they're doing something else. And that beautiful person and popular person, you know, they're popular on social media, they got a following or everyone wants to go to their house or party. That's that role. And then when they're hanging out with their mom, their mom doesn't care. You know, she's like, you should visit me more, right? And now the person's in a different role. So do you see how we're flitting through these different roles in our lives? And when you confuse that person playing a role with their value, then all of a sudden, oof, you know, you're at a loss because maybe you can't compete with that. Well, I don't play any role. I don't earn that much money in my roles, or I don't have that many. I'm not that popular in my roles. So what does your confidence come from a role that you play, really? And if so, then you have something called conditional confidence, which is very natural. It occurs automatically. You know, people get a big paycheck and they get more confidence for a while. People get a hot partner, they feel confident for a while. Why? Because that's conditional confidence. When the tide is coming in, you're confident. But what happens when the tide goes out? It's all gone. There's nothing there. That's not real confidence. That's conditional confidence. But I'm teaching you in these videos and all my courses, and everything is unconditional confidence. Confidence that comes from within. Confidence comes from your mindset and who you become, not some role that you play. And you can notice, oh, I'm playing this role today. I'm gonna go here. And if you wanna play more powerful roles or whatever, great. You might create that in your life, but rest assured, it has nothing to do with your inherent value as a human and your lovability. Right? Does the CEO only have CEO friends? Maybe. Maybe they're like, I'm so fused with my role, I'm too important. I can only have rich friends. Fine, fine. Does that person need to be one of my people? Right? You can have a friend who is rich. You can have a friend who is a poor. You can have a friend who's beautiful. You can have a friend who's ugly. And make sure you tell them that. Me personally, no uggos. All my friends have to be tens. Right? See, it's absurd when you think about it, but in the moment, we buy into it. And if you buy into it and you say no, but they are really good because they're in that role, that's a choice. That's a choice. It might seem like that's how it is, but. But you are choosing to buy into that reality and invest it and make and build it, construct it as a reality. But it's not inherently part of this existence. It doesn't have to be that way. So in my reality, if I see someone that's got a lot of muscles, they're really lean and ripped, I'm like, good for you. I've dabbled in that enough to know how hard that is. Well done, sir. Well done, ma'. Am. Right. And that's the role that they're playing. I don't. That's okay. That's what they want to do. And you don't have to instantly link that to worth. So I know this one's a little thought provoking. Share down below in the comments, what questions you have, what thoughts, what is it evoking for you? And other people can respond and share and we can all learn and grow together. Thanks for being with me today. Until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and. And to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
