Self Confidence Tip - How To NOT Be Creepy

Hey, Dr. Aziz here. Today you're going to learn how to avoid that one adjective that you never, ever want a woman to describe you as. In fact, you probably already know what that is, but let's just see if we can pull it out. Think of a woman right now in your life who you're interested in. And I'm assuming you're single. Perhaps there's a woman that you know, that you work with, maybe someone you met a little while back, and you want to be in a relationship with her, you're interested in her. Who knows? Maybe you want to date her. Maybe you want to be her to be your girlfriend. Maybe you want to marry her. I don't know. But think about. Think about her right now and imagine she's talking to one of her good friends, and she were to say, oh, yeah, Aziz, I know the guy. To be honest, I think he's a little blank. What's the last word that you want to be in that sentence? Creepy. Right? The last thing we want to be described as, oh, yeah, Z's. I know that guy. He's a little bit creepy. It's just that word is just like. It makes your skin crawl. It's like this aversion, like, oh, God, I hope, I hope, I hope that she doesn't think that I'm creepy. And the worst thing about it is when I'm working with a guy around social issues, social challenges, social fears, sometimes that's the reaction that they get. You know, either the woman will actually, you know, they'll overhear her talking about it, or more likely, they just get this kind of negative reaction for her. She's almost like kind of communicating it indirectly. Oh, I think you're creepy, and that sucks. You don't want to feel that. And it's completely avoidable. All you have to understand is A, what creepy is, and then B, how to avoid it. How to not do those things that make you creepy. So let's break it down. I'm going to share two ways to avoid being seen. Creepy. So the first thing we gotta do is understand, what does she mean when he says, oh, yeah, that guy, he's a little creepy. What does that mean? What do you think of when you hear that word? Well, really, it's. She's feeling uncomfortable, right? He's creepy. Means I'm creeped out. Means I'm uncomfortable. So we have to figure out what exactly is making her uncomfortable. And those are the two things that I'm going to address right now. One is that there's some Sort of. She feels like you're wanting something from her, you're eager or needing something from her in kind of a clingy way. But you're not being direct, you're not being clear. And you know that. The funny thing is, is sometimes a woman could describe something as creepy. That if a guy that was giving off the right signals or that she was into, she'd say it was cute or charming or funny. So it's really not so much the behaviors as much as it's how it makes her feel. But there are a few behaviors that, that tend to lead to the creeped out feeling. And so you got to learn how to avoid these things. The first one is the kind of lurking in the shadows, waiting for your moment to strike thing. So what that means is that means you see her somewhere. And I'll never forget this. I was doing some social experiments, some confidence coaching with a guy. And we were in a music store, like a. Actually the music section of like a Target or something. And we were just walking around looking for opportunities to do stuff that was outside of his comfort zone. And at that time, he was working on dating and meeting women. So there you go, there's a woman, go talk to her. And we'd done a lot of groundwork to get him to that place where he felt like he had the self esteem and confidence to go talk with her. So he was ready. I mean, he was as ready as anyone's gonna get, right? He starts walking over towards her, and I'm like, okay, this is going good. He's directly at her, and then he gets about four feet from her, and then all of a sudden he does this and starts looking through the CDs like, oh, fascinating. I was just coming over here to check out this album right near you. What a coincidence, right? So then he's like standing there, near her, kind of in her field of awareness, but looking totally engrossed in the CDs, not in any way communicating that he wants to talk to her. Then I'm watching this and I'm like, ooh, this is not gonna go well. So he stands there and then she stands there. And then he puts it down. And I'm like, okay, maybe he was just, you know, dipping his toe in the water and now he's gonna do it. And then instead he like walks around the entire CD rack. It's like this little aisle in the store. He just walks around the thing, like looking around, trying to look casual. Comes around there, she's still standing there, and he walks Right by her and then back towards me like his head is down. Which I of course shamed him for mercilessly and called him a pathetic loser and he'd never amount to anything. And to get the hell out. No, no, that's what he was doing in his own mind. No, I'm there to encourage him, support him, and say, look what happened. And what happened is he lost his nerve, he lost his confidence. He didn't take action. And that's the kind of thing that, that can lead to a woman being like, yeah, this guy was kind of like hovering around me. And so the real challenge here is how do we not do that? Well, take action. I mean, it's a simple solution. It's like, well, just do it. And one way to get this is something I picked up somewhere along the way in my foray into pickup artist training was the three second rule, which is, if you see a woman and you want to go talk to her, like in that situation, he's walking towards her, he sees her in the CD rack, he has three seconds to initiate walking over towards her and starting a conversation. He probably just has to blurt whatever the first thing that comes out of his mouth, but he has to take the action. Otherwise you run the risk of kind of like lurking in the shadows and waiting. And not only does that lead to a much higher likelihood that you're going to talk yourself out of it, but it also increases likelihood that she's going to notice you kind of just like hovering and feel your energy of just like, I want something from you, but then not really doing anything about it, and that makes her feel uncomfortable. She doesn't know what this guy wants. What does this guy want from me? Why is he hanging around me? So the best way to avoid that is what? Take direct action. Walk over and talk to her. And if you're watching this and you're thinking like, yeah, easy for you to say. Well, not really easy for me to say, because before I was coaching guys like the guy I was talking about, I was that guy. I spent years of my life unable to talk to women, unable to even look at a woman uneven to let alone ask her out for a date. If she looked at me, an attractive woman looked at me, what would I do? Duck and run. And I've spent years. And if you've seen my story or check out the homepage of my site, you'll learn more about my story. I spent years working on this stuff to get to the point not only where I could do it proficiently, and meet amazing women and eventually meet my awesome wife. But now I help other guys do that too, because I'm so passionate about it. Because I really know what it feels like to be so stuck. So it's not so easy for me to say. In fact, if you really want to get to the point where you can just do this stuff, you can just say, yeah, I'll go talk to her and actually follow through. Then check out 30 days to dating Mastery, where first I'll give you a free report on how to start conversations with women anywhere, anytime. But then also you can do the program, which is 30 days of intensive email coaching that will guide you step by step through missions to get you to a place of maximum confidence in dating and relationships. I can't recommend that program highly enough, but if you're just watching this and you're thinking, this guy's full of it, trust me, I've been there and I can help you get to the place where you can. So the second thing that leads to a sense of creepiness or awkwardness or what's going to make her feel uncomfortable is similar, but it's once you started to interact with her. So let's say you get over that hurdle and you start the conversation with her or you see her, you know, she's a friend of a friend at a party and you guys, hey, introduce this person. Now you're talking to her. Here's what leads to a creeped out feeling. It's once again inhibiting. It's wanting something from her, wanting her approval, wanting her to like you, wanting to make a good impression, wanting her to want to sleep with you. And then, but you're kind of really tight and anxious and awkward because you're nervous that it's not going to happen. And so you end up just getting really bound up and then not saying anything. That is the other thing that leads to a sense of feeling creeped out is if you just kind of, you're talking with her and you're just like, yeah, huh, that's neat. Cool. And you're looking to her to lead the conversation, to bring things up, to make it smooth, that's going to make her feel uncomfortable. And in the right circumstances, she might tell her friend, yeah, I met this guy at a party. It was a little creepy. And to avoid that, what do you do? You got to learn how to take charge and direct a conversation. I don't mean just talking and steamrolling over her. I, I mean being comfortable asking questions, sharing comments, relating things about yourself, revealing what's going on for you? Learning how to have basic conversation skills with a woman. It feels like our feels like our conversation skills go out the window when it comes to an attractive woman, doesn't it? But learning how to bring that to that interaction with her and if nothing else, just saying something. The best thing to say honestly is usually a question because that demonstrates you're interested in. It can open her up to want to talk and share with you. And just saying something, even if it's something like what are you drinking there? Or so how do you know this person? Or what's going on, what's up, what's new? I mean these are not the best or the rocket science things, but this is. If you're in a pinch, say something. Because if it gets really quiet, really awkward, you're staring at her and your hands are tight and you're just looking at her and waiting for her to say something, then most likely she's going to feel uncomfortable. So these are just some of the major elements. Now I'm not getting into the stuff of like if you grope her inappropriately or don't listen to her when she says no and stuff like that. I'm just trusting that, you know, that's obvious, that that's creepy and she's not going to like that. I'm talking more in the realm of what gets it in the way for shy guys and what I experienced. And again, 30 days today, mastery will really help you learn how to master those elements of conversation. And, and you can also check out other programs. The confidence code goes into the nine elements of Conversational mastery and of course Confidence Unleashed, which is my best selling program, which really goes even more in depth and how to build up that courage and power and confidence in yourself. So there's so many ways that you can help yourself take action and just utilize this the next time you're around a woman, remember, immediately go talk to her. Don't hover and lurk, and then just keep the conversation going. Say something, even if it's just a question. And you will avoid the dreaded adjective of creepy. So thanks for listening. I hope this is useful until we talk again. May you have the courage to put yourself out there. Be who you are, know that you have something valuable to offer the world and know that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.