A YouTube video by Dr. Aziz introducing his book "The Solution to Social Anxiety." The speaker frames social anxiety as a self-imposed cage and offers a three-step, ongoing-practice approach: (1) deep self-knowledge, (2) full self-acceptance, and (3) taking bold, vulnerable action. The talk combines personal testimony, therapeutic techniques, and a call-to-action to purchase the book (Amazon, Kindle, forthcoming audio).
Chapters
So I titled this book the Solution to Social Anxiety. And that's because I see it just as that it's a solution, it's a map. It's a way to get out of the problem, which is social anxiety, which is doubting yourself, feeling like you don't have much to offer, assuming that others are going to reject you, feeling tight and tense in your body and really, on a deep level, feeling like you're not worthwhile, that you're not lovable. And it's a problem that I've been working with guys on for the last 10 years. But really most of my understanding of it originally came from my own experience and having this, like, absolute, unwavering certainty that if someone really got to know me, really got to see the real me and all my flaws, that they would be repulsed and they couldn't possibly love me. And that's the problem. And that's the cage that we construct. And it's a cage of our own thoughts and perspectives and feelings and. But it's a cage nonetheless. Maybe the bars aren't real, but it restricts us in the same way that a real prison would. And I wanted to create something that would help men break free of that prison, like get a key to be able to open the door and walk out. And I break it down into three major steps that I believe are ongoing practices. And the first is we have to know who we are on a deep level. What do I want? What really matters to me? How do I express that? How do I share my opinions and my thoughts and my feelings? So the second step is we have to learn how to have a deep sense of acceptance for ourselves, complete acceptance for ourselves, accepting all of our thoughts and feelings and desires and actions and choices. This is a tall order. I'm not saying this is easy, but this is. What's required is a practice of forgiving ourselves and loving ourselves. There's dozens of techniques and exercises and transcripts from sessions I've done and everything I could combine to really help someone reading the book feel a sense of relaxing into who they are and loving themselves more. That's what this book is intended to be. But we still need the third step. We have to step through that door. We have to take risks in our lives. We have to take action. We have to take bold action in the world. We have to try that thing. We have to take that risk that we're worried about. We have to be vulnerable and share that thing. We have to go after and apply for that job. We have to go talk to that person or ask that person out for a date. And even if they might say no. And it's only in doing that that we find that a lot of our fears and expectations and predictions about how badly it's going to go are false and that we are lovable and that people do want to connect with us. And so this isn't like you read this and you never feel this stuff again. You just know how to deal with it and how to not be held back by it. And that's my intention for you must be able to break free from this social anxiety and start living your life fully with full confidence in yourself and who you are. I strongly encourage you to check out a copy of the book. You can get it on Amazon.com, you can get it on Kindle and they're going to get an audio version out there soon and just many ways to find your way to that freedom. And that's what I hope for you. That's my intention. Thanks for listening and I look forward to speaking with you in the book.
