0:46
Dr. Aziz argues that asking "How do I get them to like me?" ties your worth to others' opinions. Instead, ask how to reclaim your own value independently. Self-worth must come from within, not from external validation.
Dr. Aziz argues that asking "How do I get them to like me?" ties your worth to others' opinions. Instead, ask how to reclaim your own value independently. Self-worth must come from within, not from external validation.
That is a radically superior question to, "How do I get them to like me?" or "Who do I need to be in order for you to not be upset with me?" "What do I need to hide or hold back or pretend or placate?" "How do I need to please you so that I can hang on to a scrap of approval from you?" And those are the terrible questions that we're asking ourselves often unconsciously. So asking yourself, "Geez, how do I reclaim my worth?" Well, now you can start to find something. Now you can find a pathway to power. And the answer is it's different for everybody. And that's the biggest first step is you must reclaim authority. I am the one who needs to determine that worth. I need to find a pathway to create a stable sense of self-worth. It's not based upon the fluctuating approval of every random person in my life.
