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Dr. Aziz Gazipura argues that being too nice is a learned pattern that holds you back from promotions and real relationships. He contrasts niceness with power: being bold, direct, and authentic instead of anxious and people-pleasing.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura argues that being too nice is a learned pattern that holds you back from promotions and real relationships. He contrasts niceness with power: being bold, direct, and authentic instead of anxious and people-pleasing.
Hey, I'm Dr. Aziz, and I have a quick question for you. Are you too nice? You know you are. If you have a hard time saying no, you say yes and agree when you don't really want to. And then you're nervous in groups or speaking up in meetings, and you feel uncomfortable around your boss or senior management or successful people or that beautiful woman. And you try to act normal and natural and confident, but inside you, you feel anxious and tense and uncomfortable. These are all signs of too much niceness. And I know the signs well because I spent many years myself stuck in the nice guy cage, wanting everyone's approval, afraid of what people might think, and not wanting to upset others. So I was nice and quiet and didn't assert myself, and I wasn't bold or direct. But here's the thing. Nice doesn't work. It never will work. We think that if we're this good person and just quiet and get out of people's way and. And all this good stuff's gonna come to us, but it doesn't. The opposite is true. You're overlooked, you're ignored. She chooses someone else, they choose someone else. You don't get the promotion, you don't get the job. And then it's frustrating and it's unfair. But here's why it doesn't work, and this is the biggest distinction, is because nice is not who you are. Nice is a pattern that you learned when you were a kid to get by, to get people to like you because mom or dad said to and taught you to. But it's not who you are, and it doesn't work, because when you're not being you, then you don't have that power. And a lot of people think the opposite of nice is, well, I'd be mean. I'd be a jerk. I'd be an asshole. That's not the opposite of nice. The opposite of nice is power, is you being your most powerful, bold, direct self who can say what you want, do what you want, be who you are in the world. And that. That works, that is magnetic, that draws opportunities to you, people to you, dating and relationships to you. And you can transform your entire life by shedding the nice person cage. And if you're relating to what you're hearing in this video, then I think we're on the same path here. And I encourage you to click below to subscribe to my YouTube channel, where I teach dozens of videos specifically on niceness and hundreds of videos on. On confidence, assertion, directness, dating, relationships, how to be the most bold, confident version of you, starting right now. So click on below to subscribe. And I can't wait to see you in those videos in my channel.
