Dr. Aziz explains how social anxiety stems from seeking validation outside yourself. He describes obsessively checking his socks for fear of judgment, then shows how building internal validation lets you stop needing others' approval to feel okay.
Did you know that I used to check my socks a hundred times a day? I was so afraid of what other people would think of me that I would obsessively think about things like that. Like my socks. They look good. Do I look good? Am I okay? Are you really worried about what other people think of you? Do you ever wonder why? Well, it turns out that obsessing, that fear is coming from a lack of solidity in your own reality. Because whether my socks are okay or I'm okay depends on one thing, what you think. And so if you think my socks are okay, then I'm okay. But I got to check a hundred times, because is everyone going to think that the solution to this is for you to inhabit and strengthen your own reality. Are my socks okay? It depends. What do I think? What do I feel? Is my opinion okay? Is my appearance okay? Am I okay as a human? That's determined by me because I live in my reality now.
