Stop Deliberating and Start Doing

How much time do you spend deliberating? You know, a trend I've seen in people that I help with confidence is that confident people spend a lot less time deliberating than unconfident people, anxious people, worried people. When someone is anxious, worried, lacking confidence, there's a lot of seeking the information, determining if it's the right choice or not making a decision, and then doubting the decision and saying, you know, that probably wasn't the right decision. I feel nervous. I want to move forward, but I don't want to. I don't know, I'm torn. I'm starting to think about that. And a lot of their life is sort of a cloud of someday, maybe someday I'm going to do that, maybe I'm going to do that. And they're almost kind of waiting for it to happen. And on a rational level, on an intellectual level, we know that, you know, we must bring something about, we must create it, but we delude ourselves when we're in that place. And so we say, I'm thinking about it, or I'm going to do that later, I'm planning on that, or one day I'm going to get around to that. And here's a very important thing for you to realize. That pattern doesn't stop on its own. It's not like someone operates that way for a long time, and then all of a sudden they're like, you know what? Today's the freaking day. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna take that action, this action, this action, that action, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then become an action taker. Cause it's not about the specific actions, it's not about the circumstances. It's about you, it's about me, it's about how do we operate. And how you operate tends to be how you operate in the future. So how you're operating today is going to be likely how you're going to operate tomorrow. That's not going to radically change. Just like someone, you know, certain diet, lifestyle habits, you know, if someone smokes and drinks and eats, you know, trashy food, they're probably going to be smoking and drinking and eating trashy food a year from now too. What's going to happen is something needs to radically change in themselves and in their way of approaching life for it to look totally different later. And so in order to become a more confident person, you don't wait until the doubt and the deliberation, all that stuff just goes away. It doesn't just go away. You start to decide confident People decide and do. Maybe a little bit of deliberation is needed, a little bit. Maybe you need to gather some information, maybe you need to talk to some people. Maybe you need to get some ducks in a row for a relatively short period of time. You know, they take in the information, you know, if it's a small thing, you know, minutes, if it's a big thing like a life decision or a moving or a job change or big investment or something like that, maybe a month or something like that of really researching it diligently. But then once they got enough data, boom, they decide. I can't think of anything that would take like years. Even big things like changes in relationships. That's one of the things I help people do, you know, as people have to say, they enter my mastermind or other longer programs that are a year and, you know, they either come in and people will come in and they get into relationships. People that are shy or self conscious or struggle with dating are able to date more and able to enter into thriving romantic relationships. Or people come to my program and they leave relationships, you know, relationships that don't serve them. They're being nice and they wanted to have broken up, you know, a year ago, but they were too nice or something's not, you know, is missing. And they've just been too scared to have the tough conversations and decide what's, what's needed. But even a big thing like a relationship, people are like, oh, I got to deliberate on that for another two years. It's like, no, you set up conditions that give you the information you need in 30 days or 60 days. And there's a whole process, I guide people through on that. And then you, and then you decide at the end of those 30 or 60 days, during those 30 or 60 days, you decide. And then you take the action in your life. And those are the big things, but the small things, what action you're taking or what thing you're going to pursue or who you're going to talk to, or what you're going to do in work this week, this month, you decide and you do. You just draw lines in the sand and you take action. That's what confident people do. And when you start to do that, even if you're scared at first, even if you're nervous at first, even if, even if that part of your mind's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, slow down, slow down, slow down too fast. You just do. And all of a sudden you start to shift, you start to become the kind of confident person that you admire right now. So let's all step into that together. And the next time you notice yourself overly deliberating, remember this. Decide and do less deliberation, more doing. Fantastic. Thanks for being with me today. Until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.