Dr. Aziz explains how to end conversations with clear, confident goodbyes instead of lingering or over-apologizing. He shows why transitions make people uncomfortable and shares practical phrases to close interactions assertively, arguing that owning the exit raises your social confidence.
Hey, Dr. Aziz here, number one best selling author and the founder of the center for Social Confidence. And today we're going to talk about goodbyes. Clear, confident goodbyes. This is something that is so small and so simple, yet extremely important and leaves a lasting impression on other people. And clear, confident goodbyes are the opposite of sticky, clingy goodbyes. So let me explain what I mean. Goodbyes are interesting. They're a transition. They're an ending that means an ending of a conversation, an ending of you being in a certain place and there's a transition there. And transitions, I think, for humans are a little uncomfortable. There can be some sort of what's happening right now, and it can be very subtle. You might not freak out, but you're just. There's a little bit of energy there. And I've noticed this in my son Zaim. He's three years old. And if you're at the park, you can't just be like, all right, we're going home, Bam. You gotta, like, give him a little warning, like, we're gonna go in 10 minutes and give him, oh, now we're leaving in three minutes. And kind of build in some time for him to adapt. And then even if you give him a countdown, then when you're leaving, he might be like, I don't wanna leave. And you gotta kinda, you know, help soothe him and then maybe excite him about something. And like, hey, when we get home, we're gonna go, I don't know, play with that pink balloon or whatever. So we all have some feelings around transitions. And one way that that shows up is we get a little clingy or we can around transitions. And so if you're. Especially if you're enjoying talking to the person, let's say it's something you find really attractive. And you're at a party and you're talking, and then, you know, you're just kind of like, I just want to keep talking to you. Don't go anywhere. Or it could be just like, not even someone you're attracted to, just like someone you meet somewhere and you like talking to them and you kind of cling on to them in some way, and you know the conversation is about to end, but you're just not sure. Or maybe you're overly polite and overly nice and you don't want to end it abruptly. You don't want to hurt their feelings. I want to make sure that I'll let them end it because I don't want them to feel like I'm concluding the conversation and rejecting them. Whatever it is, we're overthinking it and we're just kind of, we're waiting for them to end it. And that is the opposite of a confident stance. A clear confident goodbye is you deciding when you're going to end the conversation and not waiting for them to do it for you. Taking that responsibility upon yourself and being willing to be the first one to end it. In fact, you often might be because a lot of people have weird, clingy, long, not very good goodbyes. So you might need to be the one to end it. And there's some weird like separation moment there where you're like, but you just gotta, boom, end it. Hey, listen, it's been great talking with you. And this is how you might do it. It's been great talking with you, no matter what's going on in that moment, blah, blah, blah, back and forth. Hey, it's been great talking with you. It always works. You can use that in any situation. It's been great talking with you. I've enjoyed talking with you. Something and then you end it and then you leave. Now, if you need to get some information like, hey, it's been great talking with you, I'd love to talk more. Let's connect. What's your email? That's an example of maybe a more business setting or a friend setting or something like that. But if you're in someone you're attracted to, you might say, hey, this has been really fun. I would love to keep talking with you. What's your number? Let's get some coffee. You know, some version of that. So you do that and then you go, great, it's been great talking with you. Boom. And then you're just, you leave and you go somewhere else and you go talk to someone else. Because there's this other weird thing sometimes people say, well, see you later, bye. Okay. And we kind of just hang out energetically and with our bodies and some sort of weird just see ya, goodbye. And it's simple and it's clear and it's powerful. So you need to take, it's like this level of ownership and it's the same ownership with greetings, by the way, I'm going to go walk up to you and say, hi, I'm going to initiate greetings. Same thing. I'm going to initiate goodbyes. I go in, I talk, and when I'm done, I leave. And if you bring that energy and you have that ease of just going in and going out and okay, we're done. Now I'm done talking to you, by the way. If you're at a party or something like that, or a conference or a mixer or business thing or a networking thing, End conversations when you want to end them. That like, I'm going to. Oh, God. I don't want to keep talking about their. Their beach house. I'd rather go talk to those other people. But, oh, they're so into it. Okay. This is so boring. Oh, and then what other shells did you find on the beach? Just keep going with them. Just, hey, it's been great talking with you. I need to go catch up with those people over there. I'll talk to you in a little bit. I'll see you around. Oh, my God. How could I have said I'm going to talk to someone else? That's going to crush them. Stop taking care of people so much. Stop being so worried about other people's feelings. Just, they're adults. They can handle it. If someone doesn't want to talk to them or someone is done talking to them, if they're that boring with their stories, they probably get that a lot. Or they just find nice people and glom onto them. Whatever it is, you don't have to be that person. You can break free, have clear, concise, powerful goodbyes. It will raise your sense of social power, your confidence, and your social freedom. So if you're enjoying this, subscribe down below and leave some comments. Let me know your biggest breakthrough with this video. What you're taking away from this, what you're going to use, what you've discovered in your own life about clear, confident goodbyes. And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.
