The #1 Biggest Secret To My Personal Confidence | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

Do you want to know my personal single biggest secret to the confidence that I have in myself right now? To be able to go from stuck, anxious, afraid to talk to anyone, to able to talk in front of a camera, any group, any size, and feel totally relaxed. Be on TV and be totally comfortable with it. Talk in front of big groups, interact with clients, do coaching in front of people, approach anyone, have a conversation, approach, beautiful women, have conversations. I mean, I could go on to be able to do all of that and more. Do you want to know how to do that? Do you want to know what my personal biggest secret is? And was and still is? If so, watch this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, best selling author and the founder of the center for Social Confidence. If you want more confidence, subscribe now because you're going to want to watch all these videos. The more you study this stuff, the more you learn this stuff, the more your confidence is going to grow and the more your life is going to transform. Because confidence is a doorway to success in every area of your life. How you feel about yourself, your self, confidence is the key factor. In fact, that's what I want to talk about today. I want to share with you my personal number one biggest secret on building my confidence. Over these years now, people have asked me this, I get this email a lot. How did you do it? Well, what is your secret? Basically? And people are like, I'm confused. You have so many programs and trainings and books. Like, what's the secret? What's the one thing I don't want to do? 50 things, is it action? Should I just go take action? I'm like, well, taking action is pretty good. You know, I got this little bracelet, I don't know if you can see it. It says be bold. That's what I give everyone at my live events, right? Be bold, take action. I have a phrase we put on our banners at the events that says, in life, boldness is rewarded, cowardice is ignored. And that's true. And some people say, is it upgrading your mindset, your belief, your identity? Like, well, yeah, that's pretty important too. I mean, geez, I don't know, is it action or is it identity? And some people say, what is it learning skills? Maybe it's like flirting skills, conversation skills, how to approach, public speaking skills? Is it skills? And I was like, well, yeah, yeah, skills are really important too, right? Because if you don't know what to do, if you don't have a strategy on how to start a conversation or how to make it interesting, then it's. Maybe it's. You're not gonna be able to do it. Even if you feel okay about yourself, you don't feel anxious, but you just don't know what to do. It's not gonna go so well. So I was like, oh, man, now we got action. We got skills. I mean, geez, what is it? What is the secret to confidence? And then I realized what it is, and I said, you know what my personal secret to confidence is? Is investing in myself. And people heard that and they're like, what? Investing in myself and what that means, because check it out. When I invest in myself, I can learn the skills. When I invest in myself, I can go through practices and teachers and mentors that help me upgrade my mindset, my identity. When I invest in myself and I get in situations when I'm surrounded by amazing people that are encouraging me and modeling for me how it's done, I take action. You better believe it, right? So I'm like, investing in myself. That was. That is my big, was and is my biggest secret to never ending increasing confidence. And it all started way back when, when I invested in myself with $197, like, how to pick up chicks program. Now, to be fair, it was. It wasn't that like, sleazy or anything, but it was like, you know, how to meet women and be a man. And it was kind of would fall into the pickup artist category, I'd say, But it was really helpful. Now, some of it actually set me on a course to be more neurotic because it was like, in every moment, you are building or destroying attraction. Be sure to always be building attraction. And I'm just like, I'm so stressed out. I'm already so anxious. But it also gave me some amazing tools. You know, it said like, hey, you know that stuff that you think in your head, not all of it is true. Now for you, that might be like, duh, stupid obvious. But I was like 19 years old and I was like, really? You know that voice that tells me I'm ugly, Maybe it's wrong. That voice that tells me that that person's gonna reject me, Maybe that's wrong. What? You know, and it was like this eye opening thing, and I was like, wow. And you know, if you've ever done something and it works out well, you want to do it again, right? So I was like, well, that worked out well. You know, I was literally able from that program, trust me, I put my heart and soul into it. Though I studied it, I listened to it, I applied it. So practice, action, learning, all that stuff matters. But the investment is what opened that door. And trust me, I never bought anything online. This is back in the days before Amazon and everything is like where your credit cards are all saved. Amazon's the worst, man. They got that, the app on the phone now and it's like swipe to buy now. Don't even enter anything. Don't even think about it. Just like when I do QuickBooks to record our spending for my business and our family, you know, we got like, oh, that's the grocery. On our personal side, it's like, oh, that's the grocery store. Oh yeah, that's like the, you know, the kids shoe store for, they got new shoes. And then like 80% of the items are just like, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon. I'm like, I don't even know how to categorize this stuff. Everything's from Amazon. We buy our supplements from Amazon, our, our freaking, you know, everything for our kids, for Amazon kitchen supplies. This is not a plug. This might look like a plug for Amazon, but I'm not affiliated with them in any way. They're just awesome. Anyway, this is back in the days before all that. And so I had to get my credit card out and enter it on this website. And I was like, what is this? Is this secure? And back then, $197 was a huge deal for me. I was working, I was going to school and I was working part time in a post office, the university post office. I don't know much I was getting paid. I don't even remember at this point, what, eight bucks an hour or something like that. So that's like 25, 30 hours of work just to get this program. But I was like, yeah, this is a stretch. It's worth it. I want to make this happen. So I did and I applied it and I got results and then I got a taste. So then I found out one of the people that I was working with was like, oh, I'm going to this like three day training on basically like mindset. It was actually they were a therapist and it was a cognitive therapy training. And I wasn't a therapist, 19 year old kid. And I was just like, well, can I come? Do I have to be a therapist? And they're like, no, you know, but you know, it's a big investment. And I think at the time it was like $400 or something for this three day training. And I was like, I don't even have that Money. Ah, right. So. But it was coming up in like three weeks or something, and I've already gotten so much from that program, so I was like, all right, fine. It was called voice therapy. That's what it was. I even have several books by Firestone, Father Daughter that wrote some of these books. And I learned in those three days, I mean, I took the leap. It was very uncomfortable. I'd put a lot of it on a credit card, but I knew I could pay it off in about two months so I wouldn't accumulate too much interest. But I was like, I went. And man, that transformed everything. I was so high after those workshop days. Now, I don't mean like we smoked, you know, crack in there or something. I mean liberation. I like the dating thing, like, opened up some doorways, like, oh, maybe I can meet women. This other one was like, I can transform my life. I can be free of social anxiety. Man, can you imagine after living 10 years, maybe I was even older. Maybe I was actually 20, 21 at that point. I don't remember the years, but I mean, living 10 years that way. And all of a sudden a door opened. And I remember they had the course on this course near the beach in Santa Barbara. And I'd walk out during the breaks and at the end of the day, and it was warm, it was like springtime. And I would just be on the beach and I was like, I felt so fucking alive, so free. Now when you got a good experience once, you're gonna try it again, you get that powerful experience again. I was hooked. So, you know, I did all kinds of personal development stuff, and eventually I found out about Tony Robbins, who's like the self help stud, right? Like, if you know the personal development world, if you don't know who Tony Robbins is, look him up. So I go there and the story about how I found out about him is fascinating, but I'm not going to share that now. But anyway, so I go to his seminar. It was like an entry level seminar. It was like six or seven hundred bucks. And then in there, he makes an offer for his master university, which is like three different seminars over the course of two years and some coaching and all this stuff. And it was $10,000. And I was just like, what? I don't have $10,000. But by that point, I already got the game. I know that if I invest in myself, I am able to be more, do more, earn more money back, Roi, love more and feel better and feel more happy in my life. And to me, that's the that's what we're all after, right, Is feeling good. So I was like, all right, all right. How am I going to make this work? So I had to get help from my dad and like took money from this one thing that you say it was for education. He was helping me out some with graduate school and I was like, I want to put it in this. And he's like, what? You know, and so he helped me a little bit, but I had to put more on a credit card. And I remember my dad and my brother and my mom were all like, that's crazy. That's crazy to spend that kind of money. But I was just, I knew it would work, right? And then it's progressed. That turned my life around, accelerated things. It shifted me from just straight up psychology to coaching and opened up my mind, mind. And it got me to be doing, be able to do something like this with you. And it progressed from there continually. The next thing, the next thing, the next thing, the next thing. You know, not too long ago, a number of years back, I invested in a mastermind with Christian Mickelson, who's an amazing teacher, for $47,000 for a year. Now, you hear that, you might be like, that's insane. But if you follow where I came from step by step and check it out, when you keep investing in yourself and you keep growing, you can earn more money. So by that point in my life now, 47 was a huge stretch. I still didn't have that money. I'm always inherently investing in things I don't quite have the money for yet. But I figured it out and I made a way, I found a way to make it work. I leveraged things, took on some loans again, but I pay them back, and I pay them back way faster than I think. And I don't accumulate years of interest in debt. I'm talking about. I paid that $47,000 back probably three months, so accumulated very little interest. So the point of me telling you this is that the biggest secret to my success is investing in myself. And I keep doing it. I just did it. I just was at a seminar last weekend and I went to about three days of this four day seminar and was reinvesting in myself. And it's in something. It's like my own personal development. It's in my coaching skills, it's in my business skills, it's in my leadership skills skills, it's in my relationship, it's in me being a better parent. I invest in every single one of these areas and One last thing I want to end this on is so recently my dad sent me this article. He said, I thought you might find this interesting. But meanwhile, by the way, my dad has totally changed his tune and he's just like, wow, I'm so proud of you. It's so amazing, you know, what you're able to do, which feels really good. And he sent me this link and it said what these two people say is the most important investment you can make, Tony Robbins and Warren Buffett. So I opened it up and I was reading through and of course, Tony Robbins self help king says you should invest in yourself, right? He learned it from his mentor Jim Rohn and other people. You should invest in yourself. Well, that's kind of like asking a barber if you need a haircut, right? The answer is yes. So of course Tony's going to say that. Of course I'm going to say that, right? But you know, who else says that the most important thing for young people, the most important investment that young people can make today. That's why they ask Warren Buffett, who's in his 80s, who's an icon of investing, who's the king of like apparently the RV industry and most of the world in terms of, you know, money and investing. He said young people should invest in themselves, their development, their training and their learning. Because when they do that, it's an investment that pays dividends more than any other material thing like the stock market or real estate or anything you can invest in says they should invest in themselves. So it's not just Tony, it's the money guy, the hard numbers money guy, Warren Buffett. And when I saw that, I was like, I knew it, I knew it. And thanks, dad, for sending that article because I wanted to share that with you because I honestly believe that's my biggest secret. And that's why I'm not going to stop. That's why I keep doing it. And look, an investment doesn't have to be $10,000 or $50,000. An investment can be a book of $12. An investment can be 500 or 1,000 in an at home study program, or it could be something deeper. But the key is we've got to be willing to invest ourselves. And I know I talked a lot about money here, but an investment is not just money because you could pay some money and not do anything with it. How many of us have bought a program for a couple hundred dollars or a book or whatever and just not done anything with it? The money, and I tell this with clients too because when they say they want to work with me and I share what the levels are and to work with me personally at this point, the investment is quite high because I have such limited time for one on one work. I'm much more to like one to let me help a lot of people at once, but someone wants to work with me one on one, I'm like, okay, here's the investment. And they're like, whoa, that's a lot. Well, some people say that and I'll say, yeah, and the money is actually not the biggest thing. And they're like, what are you gonna take, a kidney? And I'm like, no, you gotta invest your energy and your focus and your time and your heart and your commitment that is way bigger. I mean, the money might seem big, but no, no, no, no. You got to invest yourself in this process. That's how you're actually going to turn this around. That's how you're actually going to get the results that you want. And if you're not willing to invest all of those things, like, sure, I'll give you my money and a little bit of time, but I don't want to do anything on my own. I don't want to focus on this, I don't want to think about it. You're not going to get the results. It's got to be all of those. So you got to invest yourself and you got to invest yourself. In what? In developing yourself to become the person that you want to be. And when you do, your confidence, your world, your entire life will transform. So share below what did you learn in this video? What are you going to do, what are you going to apply and what are you going to invest in? And you know what? I don't care what it is, if it's with me or with something else, whatever is right for you and whatever level you're at. I personally have made it a commitment to say, look, I want to help everyone eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence. And, and for that reason I have a way that you can grow and invest at any level that you have any budget, ranging from a book to an online training program to Confidence University, which I think is amazing by the way, and I think everyone should go through it. Confidence University, check it out. It's also very accessible to higher end stuff like my mastermind programs or even working with me personally one on one. But I don't care if it's with me or with someone else. But investing in yourself and doing it now, finding a way to start that process now so you can grow and you can accelerate and become who you're meant to be. So share below what you're learning, what you're taking away, what you found most valuable. Subscribe if you want more, if you're feeling inspired. And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.