Dr. Aziz argues that the common belief—you must be more extroverted or different to form social connections—is false and actually prevents connection. He teaches a simple cognitive reframe and micro-exercise: pause, breathe, and ask yourself "What if I didn't have to be any different than I am?" then enter conversations authentically.
You've been lied to your whole life about social confidence. The messaging is you have to be more extroverted, different than you are, somehow better. And then you'll have connection, then you'll have friends, then you'll have dating opportunities. Believing that message is actually what's keeping you from having the things that you want, the connections, the friendships. You don't have to be any different than you are to create those connections now. And I know when you hear that, you might say, I don't know about that, Aziz, but that's not a reflection of truth. That's a reflection of a sense of low self esteem, which is actually fixed by higher confidence and taking more action in the world. So how do we shift this? Before you go into a conversation with people, take a moment, take one breath in and out, and remind yourself, I don't need to be perfect to connect. I don't know. And you couldn't ask it as a question. What if I didn't have to be any different than I am to create amazing connections with people? What if? Then walk into that conversation and create something new, beautiful, meaningful, as yourself.
