The Confidence Formula | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

Do you want to know the number one secret confidence formula? This is a formula that you can apply in every area of your life. And when you apply this formula, your confidence will skyrocket. It's scientific, it's proven, it is inevitable. If you want to have a massive increase in your confidence in your dating life, your social life, your work life, your income, your career, everything that you want to open up with, that confidence is going to come from applying this formula, which I'm going to share in this episode. This is super important, super valuable. Stay tuned. Welcome to the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, number one best selling author and the founder of the center for Social Confidence. And today we're going to be talking about the formula for confidence. Super simple, super powerful and, and super life changing. And if you find these videos life changing, by all means subscribe below. You're gonna get a ton more videos that are coming out and it's a great way to stay in touch when I have offers and other things that I put up. So here's the formula for confidence. Now I first heard this from a fellow named Dr. Paul, who's a psychiatrist who teaches a lot of people, particularly men, about dating confidence and other things too. But I remember hearing this one time in a lecture he had and I really stuck with and I thought, wow, this is really simple and helps me know what to do to build confidence in any situation. You ready? Very simple. Get ready to write this down though, because you might want to put it up on a wall or somewhere. You're going to see it every day. Here we go. Here's the formula to build confidence in any situation. Fear plus act of courage equals confidence. Fear plus act of courage equals confidence. That's it. That's the only way to build your confidence. I mean, there's a lot of other tools I teach and programs about self talk and being able to get on your own side and stop criticizing yourself and techniques for talking to people and all that stuff. But that's all surrounding that core formula because if you're not applying that formula, it doesn't matter how you talk to yourself, it doesn't matter what techniques you have about how to talk to people because if you're not doing that, you will not build confidence in the long run. So let's look at that a little bit more. So fear. What are you afraid of right now to do? We all have fear. It's part of being human and it shows us where the edge of our comfort zone is. So you want to Be looking for that. Am I scared to go? Are you scared to approach someone you find really attractive? Start a conversation, Are you able to do that? But you're scared to ask someone out? Are you scared to interrupt someone and change the topic of conversation? Are you scared to speak up in a meeting? Are you scared to lead a meeting? Are you scared to give a presentation? Are you scared to show up fucking powerfully and own the room? Who am I? Who am I to do that? Right? So there's, who knows where the fear is coming up for you. I know there's, those are some major common examples, but it could be anywhere. Maybe you're scared to have a, you know, be more direct with your father in law because when he gives you some shitty feedback, I don't know. But somewhere there's fear. And the most common human pattern is to avoid that fear, right? Get away from it, run. But fear plus act of courage. So the act of courage is what? Well, you determine that, but you probably have a guess what it is. So the primary act of courage is just doing the thing, right? You're scared to give the presentation. You give the presentation. You're scared to approach the person. You approach the person. You're scared to tell your father in law to stop saying that to you. You tell that son of a bitch to stop it. That equals confidence always. Now you might say, well wait a minute, I'm scared that I'm going to do it and I'm going to do it so poorly that I'm actually going to feel worse about myself afterwards. Is that something you might be worried about? You know what? No, no, that can't happen. Next question. No. Well, here's the thing. You might do poorly and that's where you want to work on self compassion and keeping a long term. But you got to see this stuff as a process. You know, time and time again when I'm working with clients, it's like, okay, I went and did that thing and I didn't get the instant result. I, I suck. This is not working, I'm terrible. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a process here. This is a building confidence is a reconditioning process. So you're going to have one response that goes well, one presentation that goes well, one person that wants to talk to you, that was your act of courage. You get a positive response, then you're going to do another act of courage and you're going to get a shitty response. Then you do another act of courage and you're going to bomb on your presentation. And by the way, when people bomb their presentation, it's usually just feel uncomfortable and awkward. They don't do horribly terrible. They're just like, they're not as powerful as they want to be and they feel nervous and people ask them a question and they don't know the answer to it. So that happens. Guess what? You step up and you do it again. You do another act of courage. You do another act of courage because each time you do it, you build one unit. So if you do one act of courage, you build one unit of confidence. Now, does that mean you're forever more confident in that area? No, you got to amass a lot of units of confidence. So in the example of approaching someone that you find attractive, if you do that once and then you go to that scenario again, is your confidence like through the roof and it's no problem at all? Maybe, but probably not, right? You're probably still nervous about it. So you got to build up the units and each time you do it, it's a unit of confidence. Does that make sense? Are you seeing where you can apply this in your life? And the greater the fear and the greater the act of courage, the more units of confidence you get. But here's the thing, you don't have to take on massive challenges. You don't have to go to the thousand level of fear, thousand units of fear and thousand units of courage. You could though, and that's how you build confidence fast, if you're interested in that. But you can also do it by lots of little units and repetition of those little units. So do the thing again and again and again and again. And you might have heard me say this before in other videos in different ways, but guess what? That's how this shit works. And that's what I'm here to do, is to really help you massively and rapidly unlock your confidence. And so we're going to do that through one unit of courage. So what's your unit of courage? What could you do today that is an act of courage? Write that below. Share that in the comments. I'm so curious to know what that is. The more we do this, the faster we'll grow and the more confidence you will build. This formula works and this is based upon exposure work and behavioral conditioning. So this has been backed by decades of research. This will transform your life, just like it has mine, just like it has many clients that I've worked with. So share below what you're noticing, how it's affected you. If you've already had this. Transform your life. Share that below as well. To inspire. To inspire others. And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.