The Confidence Transformation Formula!

Have you ever wondered why some people get stuff really quickly? They seem to be able to build their confidence or get more successful really fast. And why other people. It's slower or never. If you want to learn how to be the first group, someone who gets something really fast has rapid transformation, watch this episode. And if you're feeling stuck and like, oh, maybe I'm one of those slow people, or you're just not getting the results that you want at the rate that you want, watch this episode. I'm going to share with you my recent discovery, which I'm extremely excited about, which is the confidence transformation formula, which you're going to learn exactly why one group succeeds quickly and the other one stays stuck and how to instantly go into the first camp. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and and this is a show for you if you want to 10x your confidence in every area of life that matters. And this formula that I'm going to share with you is going to apply to every area of life that you want to change, you want to grow in, you want to have more confidence, you want to succeed more in that area. I'm very excited about it. By the way, if you're enjoying these videos, hit like down below. Click subscribe. So you'll be able to see when these videos come out. And if you hit the little bell notification icon, then you'll be able to see right when the videos come out, because this stuff is hot and I got a lot of videos coming and. And the more that you are engaged, the more that I'm engaged and the more we all grow together. So the ultimate. Is it ultimate? It's just the confidence transformation formula. Maybe we'll throw ultimate in there. That seems a little extreme confidence transformation formula. I'm very excited about this because it helps me carry out my mission, which is to help people rapidly change and grow. And like all great things, this came out of frustration. I did a video a little while back about being stuck. And sometimes we can be stuck for days or weeks. Sometimes we can just be stuck for a couple hours. And I had this experience where I was leading a mastermind call. I run a small mastermind group called the Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. People are in it for a year and they go deep. They're, like, committed to transforming their lives in extreme and really beautiful ways where they want to create relationships where they never had relationships or grow and be able to make social connections. Just really big transformations in their life. And there was one call where there's one guy in the group who is kind of a stuck point. And he was stuck in one call. And a couple weeks later he was stuck again. And he was feeling frustrated. Some other group members were feeling frustrated and I was like, ah, how do we help him get unstuck? And he was kind of like. In that previous episode I talked about stuck and stagnant. He was sort of stuck and stagnant and hard to get his energy up. And he really wanted to improve his dating life, but he really wasn't taking action and he wasn't like, just getting out there and practicing. And he was sort of a little helpless about it. And I tried everything on that call. I was doing different techniques and motivational techniques and questions and challenges and stories, and I just didn't know if anything landed. And I left the call and I was just like. I was like, frustrated. I was like, ah, like, what? How do I want to shake him? Like, how do we get you into action, man? And then I was feeling this pain too, because I was like, ah, like, I'm responsible. I'm supposed to somehow get him into action. And I was like, no, no, Like, I'm not responsible. I can't do that. I can't make someone do something. But man, I wanted it. I wanted it for him. So I focus on just kind of letting go of that, needing anything from him, and just be like, okay, what's the bigger picture here? The bigger picture here is, why is he stuck? What's going on? And I was like, well, you know, what is the difference? I went to bed that night, I was kind of frustrated, and I woke up the next morning and it was on my mind. So I was meditating and then what popped in my mind was like, what's the difference between him and someone else in the group? Like, why is it that some people in the group, they get in there and they just. Like a rocket ship to the moon, they're making progress like crazy. And they make more progress in three or six months than someone does in maybe five or 10 years of their life. Just regular trying on their own, reading books and stuff. And I'm just like, what is going on with them? And this applies to you outside of the mastermind group, from reading a book, from watching these videos, from going through a program or something like that. Same thing with the program. There's some people that get the program and they kind of like, along and nothing much changes. And there's people that get a program and then boom, to the Moon, right. What's the difference? What's the difference? So I started to think about it, and then it came to me bit by bit by bit. And I distilled it down to just four elements. Four things equal massive transformation. So are you ready for the ultimate? I'm going to throw ultimate. I just can't help myself. It keeps coming out. The ultimate confidence transformation formula. That's clunky. Let's just call it the confidence transformation formula. Okay, here we go. C times r times 2a times omos equals R squared transformation. Now, don't get scared by the variables. They're very simple. Each one just stands for a phrase or a word. So if you have these four things, it's going to equal R squared transformation. I'm going to explain what R squared means in a second. So here we go. What's C? C is clarity. The people that make massive progress have clarity on what it is that they want in a specific area of their life. So in this case, the guy's like, I want a date. He did have clarity. I want a girlfriend. Okay, great. That's pretty clear. And if he had, you know, the kind of woman he was interested in, even more clear. What you want to pay attention to. Clarity is like, is it specific? Do I really know what I want? Just like, I just want to feel better. I just want to be more confident. That's way more. Less effective than being, like, I want to feel more able to do this, or I want a girlfriend. I want to be able to walk into a room and do this, or I want to feel more secure talking to my boss or whatever. Those are more specific. Those are more clarity, which means you're going to get faster, better transformation. So clarity. Also, you want to make sure that it's focused and not spread out. I want to have this be better and that be better and that be better and that be better and that be better all at once. That's not clarity because it's too scattered. So in this area, I want this. Great. That's clarity. So if you have clarity, you're well on your way. The next thing is receptivity. So the people that skyrocket quickly are very receptive to new information, new ideas, new ways of thinking, new techniques, or to learning and applying those techniques. And that could be. So if I'm working with someone, I'm coaching with them, I can instantly tell how receptive they are. And the people that you know, and if they're not that receptive, I can try to work with them to sort of open them up and do motivation and stuff like that. But it's not nearly as fast and effective as someone comes in and they're like, yes, teach, I want to learn. And you could be extremely receptive with these videos that you're watching here with me on YouTube. You could be extremely receptive with a book that you read or a course that you go through, or a teacher, a mentor that you're working with. And B, you got to be receptive to the way they think. You got to be willing to say, you know, maybe the way that I'm doing it is not working. Maybe the way that I've been thinking is not helpful. Maybe there's a new way. What is your way? And that's the way that when I look at myself, which has been over the last 15 years, just I'd say R squared transformation, like, really fast, big transformation, continuously going on and on. I'm like, when does it stop? I don't know. I'm just gonna keep going. And I look at it, I look back. I was like every sort of mentor that I worked with that I had a big, powerful experience with, I was doing this, and I was extremely receptive. I was like, I wanted to know, how do they think? How do they see these situations? What are their mindsets? What are their beliefs? What are their behaviors? What are their habits? And everything that I liked, I wanted to replicate and take into my life. So that kind of receptivity, like a sponge boom, is going to accelerate everything way faster. The next thing is 2A. What is this? Two kinds of action? Two kinds of action. So I thought it was just action. I was like, wait, there's actually two kinds of the people that get the most rapid growth. First, the kind of action they take is immediate action. So once they've learned something, like after a call in the mastermind, they're applying it the next day. Or you read something in a book. You read something. Try this exercise. You pause the book and do the exercise. Or it tells you to go out. Say, my solution to social anxiety book tells you to go out and practice something. You close the book, and that very day you're practicing it. That's immediate action. Now, immediate action is good, but it's not total because you get fired up, and you go take one action, and then you're done for a month. You're not going to make much progress. So you also have to have the second kind of action, which is consistent action. So consistent action is you do it regularly. You have really adopted the idea of approach instead of avoid. So you're actively looking for opportunities to practice whatever the new insight that you learned is. So, for example, let's say you're working on assertiveness and so you got clarity. I want to be more assertive at work. Actually everywhere in my life. I want to be able to say, no more. I want to be able to ask for what I want. I want to be able to find out what I want and really take care of myself. Good. You got clarity then receptivity. Maybe you read not nice. Maybe you read Townsend, McLeod and Townsend books. They got a book called Boundaries. They got other books. Those guys are great for that stuff you read. I got a bunch of books on communication. You read People Skills or the Disease To Please or Getting Real or Radical Honesty. You read some book that's teaching you how to be less nice and more you in the world. Obviously, I think not nice. My book is the one to read. But whatever it is, you read that and then so now you have your receptive to the ideas, right? You're seeking out solutions, you're taking it in, you're receptive, and then you take immediate action. So that very day, someone's like, hey, can you come to this meeting? Blah, blah, blah, this spontaneous extra lunch meeting? And you say, no, actually, I can't make that. I have other plans for my lunch or I need to take care of X, Y and Z, or just, no, I'm not going to be able to make that meeting. Thanks for the invite. You don't need to give a reason. Just no, thanks, I'm not going to be able to make it. Thank you for the invite. So that's immediate action. Great. Now what's consistent action? Consistent action is you're not just all fired up from reading the book that day. You're like, for the next week or two, I'm consistently looking for opportunities to say no, to ask for what? I want to have a boundary. And you find it. You say, I can do it with here, I can do it. Oh, interesting. In this moment, my spouse is asking me to do something. I don't quite want to do it. Okay, you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to say no, I'm going to negotiate here or something like that, as opposed to just saying yes, whatever you want. So you look for those opportunities, you're seeking it out and you take action consistently again and again. If it's dating, you're looking for opportunities to go approach someone and you're actively doing it again. And again and again and again, that. And the more the better. In a lot of cases, maybe not extreme. Like, if you're like, I got to approach 500 people a day, or I got to say no to everything. Always, you know, not extreme, but frequency. A lot of frequency means more repetition, means more practice, which means more rapid learning. So that's the second a. What's the last thing that we need? That's the fourth factor. Omos did a video about this recently. On my own side. Are you on your own side no matter what? The people that really accelerate quickly are on their own side no matter what. That means. They're compassionate with themselves, they're loving with themselves, they talk well to themselves, they treat themselves with respect. So it's not like you're taking action, but you're going like, that sucked. You need to take better action. What the hell's wrong with you? That's not going to work. That's not going to get you rapid transformation. So what is the R squared? R squared is rapid and radical. Radical and rapid transformation. Because that's why I was like, what is it? If people do these things, what do they get? Well, they get radical transformation. Like the people that. This is just in my mastermind. But people that come to my live events that will tell me, they listened to my podcast or went through books of mine or something, and they'll be like, I'm a different person now. I used to be like this. I couldn't talk to people. I couldn't make eye contact. I was scared. And now I'm like this. And I have this relationship and I started my business and blah. And they made that radical transformation. And that's why anytime I hear anyone talking about, well, social anxiety is a condition that you have to learn to manage for the rest of your life because it's just part of who you are. Like, fuck that. No, we can grow, we can transform, we can change, we can transcend this stuff. Those are just patterns. Doesn't mean we never feel anxious again, but it means that we're not limited in any way. And someone with social anxiety can still become an incredibly powerful, bold speaker leader, have relationships, lead groups of people, do everything, be at parties, do things that people are like. They don't have that, and they don't because they're no longer doing those patterns. So that's radical transformation. That's what I'm interested in. My life and every client that I work with. Rapid, though, is also what we want. So we don't want. Yes, you can have radical transformation in 22 years. It's like, whoa, Jesus, that's really slow, right? And so that's what I find is that people that want this now, rapid doesn't mean tomorrow. It does take time. And the minimum commitment for my mastermind is a year. Because of that, we want to make sure that people are putting the time in and giving themselves the time to have these big transitions, transformations, because you got to re pattern a lot of stuff. But seriously, a year, if you've been struggling with something for 20 or 30 years, a year is not that long. And it's not like it all happens after a year. It's like you're noticing big changes at 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months, 8 months. But, you know, we got to think in terms of months rather than minutes when it comes to that change. But it is rapid, rapid change, rapid transformation. So when I was coming up with this formula, I got very excited, and then I realized that there was one piece, that I was doing it wrong at first. And I said, you know, first I had clarity plus receptivity plus the two kinds of actions, plus being on your own side equals these rapid results. And I was like, wait a minute. No, it's not plus, it's times. Because each element is essential. Because if it's plus, what you could say is that, well, if you have a lot of clarity and you have a lot of receptivity and you're on your own side, and those are really high, but your action is low. Well, you'll still get the results because those are all really high. I'm really receptive. I'll read a million books like, no, actually, it's times. Because if you have high receptivity, let's say your receptivity is a 10 out of 10, your clarity is a 10 out of 10, you'll be on your own side at a 10 out of 10, and your action is a zero, then your results are a zero. That's, that's. So it neutralizes. Or if you're. Maybe they're not a zero, but they're low, it brings everything way down. And that's true for every variable. So if you're taking a lot of action, you have a lot of clarity, you are receptive, but you're just, just a monster to yourself. And you're driving yourself and you're perfectionistic and it's never enough, that's going to bring your score way down. And you're not going to experience radical transformation. In fact, maybe even you might get some success on the outside. And people might be like, oh, wow, you're doing new stuff, but you don't feel any better because it's never enough for you. Or. And you're also greatly limiting. The amount that you're going to achieve is way less than if you were on your own side. So does that make sense? Each one of these elements is extremely important. So this is why I got so freaking excited about this. And I was so excited to go back to the next call and share this with that one client who was stuck. But then everyone in the Mastermind at my live events and with you, it's like, wait a minute. Now we have this way to test and see what's the missing piece of the puzzle. So if you are feeling stuck, if you're not getting the results that you want at the rate that you want, then just run it through this formula. Give yourself a number from 0 to 10 on each of these variables. On the thing that you want to change from 0 to 10, how much clarity, how clear are you on what you want to be different and what you want it to look like? I want to be more confident. One of my first questions is like, great, what does that look like? What would you do? How would you move? How would you talk? What would you be doing? What kind of actions would you be taking? How would you feel inside? What does more confidence mean? Right, so 0 to 10 clarity, 0 to 10 receptivity. Are you not just reading stuff, but are you really taking it in? Are you seeking out solutions? Are you really open to trying it and like taking on a new mindset, a new way of being, studying receptive, 0 to 10 action. That's a big one. Most people are great with 1 and 2 clarity and receptivity, terrible with action. So they don't take immediate action or they don't take consistent action. Which one? So give yourself a score, a total for all action. But if you wanted to break it down into immediate and clarity or immediate and consistent, you can give yourself two numbers. I don't know, but you can figure that out. But just in general, how much action are you taking? 0 to 10. And then how much are you on your own side? Self compassion, self love, being kind to yourself, whatever you want to call it. 0 to 10, what is that for you? And that's going to give you a sense of what's going well and what you need to change. Because if you change that stuff and you get all those going, fire and you know, high at 7, 8, 9 or 10, everything changes fast. So share below. I'm really excited about this. This is new stuff. I haven't really taught this anywhere else, and I'm going to be putting it into more of my materials and stuff like that. So I'd love to hear your thoughts. How is this serving you? What. What clarity does this give you? What does it help you be able to do in your life? Any questions you have about it, and I'd love to engage with you in the comments. And as always, if you enjoy this video like what I'm doing, hit subscribe down below so you can watch them as they come out. Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.