In this brief segment, Dr. Aziz points out that many clients who have received therapy or assertiveness training and are otherwise good communicators still struggle to set boundaries in the moment. The underlying issue is an unconscious, recurring self‑question—"Is this boundary legitimate?"—that silently undermines their ability to voice the boundary when needed.
And I can't tell you how many clients that I've worked with that said, "Oh, I learned about boundaries from a therapist," or, "I did some assertiveness training," and they're actually pretty good at communication. But what they were missing was that there's this question that fires again and again that prevents us from even being able to say the boundary in the moment. And the question is, is this boundary legitimate? And you might not be consciously asking yourself that, but that's exactly what's happening underneath.
